My life after loss

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you baby girl. Family functions are a reminder. Watching the kids play reminds me that you will never know what it is like to run, laugh, feel the sunlight on your skin, or feel the wind in your hair. The pictures I have of you are the only ones I will ever get. We got your headstone ordered and have the compuer generated image. You will have the only pink heart in the entire cemetary. You have lots of stuff there too. I think you have more stuff than anyone else!! You are spoiled, angelcake. I love you so much.

My life after loss

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you baby girl. Family functions are a reminder. Watching the kids play reminds me that you will never know what it is like to run, laugh, feel the sunlight on your skin, or feel the wind in your hair. The pictures I have of you are the only ones I will ever get. We got your headstone ordered and have the compuer generated image. You will have the only pink heart in the entire cemetary. You have lots of stuff there too. I think you have more stuff than anyone else!! You are spoiled, angelcake. I love you so much.

Introducing me

I am a mother to 5 wonderful children here on earth. My youngest child passed away after her birth. This will be my place to just get out my thoughts, feelings, and talk about my life after loss. My children mean everything to me and losing one has been devastating. Some days I am ok and others, I can break down at the drop of a hat. I am conflicted about so many of my thoughts and beliefs. I was a totally crunchy mom but am now questioning all of that. I have had two homebirths. One turned out awesome and the other, turned out horrible. I feel that if I had just trusted the actual professionals, my baby would be here. Now, since I feel homebirth was wrong, I question my not vaxing philosophies. I am seriously thinking about catching my last three children up. I hate second guessing myself.