Around the developed nations millions of women get pregnant. A good part of those women envision watching their belly swell with child, the anticipation of that first contraction or their water breaking, their partner holding their hand or rubbing their back as they labor, then finally being able to push their child into the world, have their child placed upon their belly, and bringing that squirming bundle up to their breast to nurse. Sadly, this fantasy of childbirth seems to be harming women more than helping them. Nobody ever pictures themselves ending up with a c-section.
The thoughts and emotions that these women convey are troublesome. They feel like failures because, after all, all women can give birth because that is how our bodies are designed. We are meant to give birth, aren't we? They are bombarded by "well-meaning" women telling them that Doctors perform these surgeries so they can either get home to dinner, make their tee time, or just want the extra money. They are told that various reasons for cesareans are bogus and made up, never mind that the women saying this aren't doctors and haven't been to medical school. Women feel robbed of the first hours. I wonder why it is that the only bonding period that seems important are the first hours? Your child is your child forever. You have the rest of your life to bond. My oldest was rushed to the NICU as soon as he was born and stayed there for the first week. I bonded with him as well as I did with my other children. I'm not sad that I missed those first hours because I have had many hours with him over the last 11 1/2 years. You CAN initiate breastfeeding after those first hours, contrary to what women are told. Apparently if your child isn't breastfed within a certain time span your breastfeeding "relationship" is shot to hell.
What can we do to help?? Stop romanticising natural childbirth. Stop telling women that cesareans are "unneccesarians" and they can vaginally birth no matter what. Stop telling women not to listen to medical professionals. Yes, it is important to research!! It is also important to find a care provider that you are a team with. You really aren't as educated as a DR and I imagine it has to be frustrating to meet a women who insists she knows better than you do! Stop arming women with completely biased information. Do not find women who have had a cesarean and tell them about why it was not needed and that it could of been avoided. Truth of the matter is you aren't her doctor nor do you have access to her medical records, it is only your OPINION (much different than FACT). So, how do you know?? The google research will only tell you what you want it to tell you. If a woman has a medical complication, it is important to get that baby out instead of leaving it in there! Blood pressure problems can kill both mom and baby. Is a "natural birth" that important when both lives hang in the balance?? If a heart rate drops in labor, the baby needs to get out. Cord Accidents make up a good portion of stillbirths. They say that cord accident is rare, but I can tell you at least half of the stillbirth moms I have met, it was due to cord accidents. Labor is prime time to have something happen. Mothers arrive in active labor only to learn their baby's heart has stopped due to some type of cord accident. Yes, the baby NEEDS to be born if the baby's heart has decels. Luckily, sometimes something like position change can help take the pressure off the cord.
I really think if we keep our sight set on that baby and stop holding birth upon a pedestool, the PPD rates will drop. If you are pregnant, learn about cesareans. Don't tell yourself that you won't need it. Plan for the chance of having the surgery. Be open to anything that may happen. Remember that your dr IS doing their very best for you and your baby. If you had a c-section, talk to others who have been through it. Look at it as another option. Try to find something positive to say. Even when something is sad or doesn't go away, there is something positive to be learned. Losing my daughter was horrible. Going through that has allowed me to reach out to others, so I have been able to find the positive in something negative. Lets be open to doing anything for our child!
Birth is about getting them here, not how we get them out!
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4 comments:
I was supposed to give birth in a birthing center with no intervention or doctors present. In the last few months we changed our minds and ended up with an OB at Beth Israel in Boston. Had my baby been born in the birthing center, he never would have lived.No way in hell would he have had a shot. Thanks to the team at the NICU he is now thriving and doing well. I was that woman who supported home births and i thought hospitals were the wrong answer. Now im the complete opposite
I had an emergency c-section @ 23 weeks 6 days. My daughter would have never lived if I had done it naturally. She lived for 18 days in the NICU but at least I got those 18 days with her. Since she passed I have been thinking about a natural birth BUT I know that my pregnancy would be high-risk and I am susceptible to pre-term labor again, so I am DEFINITELY down for the scheduled c-section for any subsequent pregnancy. Whatever method brings me home a healthy baby I am willing to do. I don't necessarily think a natural labor is absolutely not the way to go BUT like I said I will do whatever to keep my baby alive and if a c-section is what it is then so be it!
Thank you for this post. During my pregnancy, I ignored anything and everything about c-sections because I did not believe that I would need one. I imagined this oerfect scenario where my SO held my hand while I gave birth and the doctor would proclaim "It's a girl" and then I would take her in my arms and nurse her and everything would just feel right. Instead, my due date came and went. I went in for an ultrasound and was sent to the hospital to be induced right away because they found that the amniotic fluid had been leaking. At 1 AM, I had not dilated past 6 cm and the doctors began to talk about a c-section. I kept praying that things would change, but they didn't. At 3:31 AM, my daughter was born via c-section. She was taken away by a NICU nurse before I could see her. It wasn't until almost an hour later that I got to see her, but I could barely hold her or open my eyes because of the drugs that I was given. My DD had to spend a few days in the NICU and I couldn't move without assistance. I felt like I had failed at being a woman because I didn't have a vaginal birth, I felt like an awful mother because I couldn't be with my baby when she was ill and so new. I still don't like to think about her birth because it brings up all sorts of painful feelings. So, I was glad to see someone say that it's ok.
Correlation is not causation. You are implying that at least half of the cases you know of had stillbirths DUE to cord accidents and not anything else like organ failure. We don't have autopsy reports to back your findings unless you read them and cause of death was in fact, due to a cord accident?
And your stats are from moms you have "met" not statistics against the number of homebirths ever. Just wanted to clarify your statement for the readers. I'm not trying to be argumentative.
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