I have been wanting to address feminism and childbirth, but the words aren't coming to me right now. So, while I'm laid up here, I wanted to discuss something that has somewhat impacted me recently.
Just the day before yesterday, a beloved blogger shared with us that her daughter was in labor and soon her grandchild would be born. Many of us have watched the joy of this impending birth for months! So here they are, moms in labor, goal is to stay home as long as possible and have a natural birth in the hospital. The outpouring of love and support just rolled in. We were given updates and had pictures shared so we were kind of a part of this joyous occasion.
However, after 30 hours of labor, there was a need for a c-section. This development brought out the bitchiness in "supportive" women. One woman made a remark about how the mother gave up and decided to have a c-section. Holy hell. Had she not been watching the page as this labor unfolded?? Had she not seen the photos of mom on a birth ball?? Seriously? Mary's labor was 18 hours and it sucked. I can't even imagine 30 hours!! Some women have decided they want to play armchair obstetrician and question why mom had a c-section. I'm wondering why in the heck anyone thinks it is their business why this mother had a c-section! Another woman even asked if the babies size or head had something to do with it and asked if the babies head had molding (I'm assuming to prove position issues or CPD).
Yes, some women remarked about how sad this was. Others have tried pulling the "ZOMG, she's going to have emotional issues and not bond with her baby because I didn't bond with my c-section baby" crap. That angers me. This mother has just given birth. She does not need a bunch of birth junkies trying to tell her she should feel badly for her baby's birth and she won't bond with her baby! We wonder why moms have PPD like they do these days! Look at how new mothers are treated in the NCB movement. I have heard from many women that they were fine with their child's birth until they got involved with the movement and that does include myself. Why is it so important to make mothers feel so badly??
Who really cares about how a baby is born as long as it is alive and well?? If a c-section is needed, then it's needed. Let's leave these women alone and let them enjoy their new babies and new families without your issues! It is nobody's business why a c-section is performed except for that mother and doctors and whoever they include in that medical decision!!