When my son was about 5 months old, I became part of a mother's group at my church. Many of them had had all natural births, so I decided I would shoot for that. After all, if they did it, I could too. So, when my son was about 9 months old, we decided to start trying. 3.5 months later I found out I was pregnant. We were thrilled!! I was due January 18th.
The pregnancy was pretty good. I had one bleeding episode that put me on bed rest from 30 to 36 weeks. I didn't go into preterm labor again! I ended up having her exactly one week before I was due.
Labor began with one contraction in the morning at my mom's group. It was one, and it hurt like hell. I had to breathe through it. One of my friends was sitting there and it really freaked her out. Some of us still laugh at that situation. We told her it was no big deal, probably just a Braxton-Hicks. I thought that myself!!
Now, my oldest was 20 months old, my husband worked 45 minutes away, I had no car or license. Good times! Imagine my horror when I really go into labor right after my husband left for work. Contractions, about 8 minutes apart begininng around 3pm. My adorable son is trying to reach out and comfort his mommy. I got in the tub to see if they would slow down. That didn't happen. So, I called my mother. I think it was about 4:30 when I called her. She grabbed my sister and stepdad and they made their way down here. It was around 6 when she got to the house. She knew I wanted a natural birth, so she completely supported me in it. We paged my husband (pager days, lol) and left for the hospital with my sister watching my son. Hmm, maybe seeing that peek at labor is why she's not in a hurry to have kids, lol, I've scarred her!
Upon arrival at the hospital, nobody really did anything. I got checked and was already 6cm. My mom helped me breathe and focus. When my husband arrived, my mom decided to step out of the room so we could just be together. At some point, I guess she heard me scream and came running back to the room. About 8:30ish, I was complete and ready to push. 20 minutes later, I held my firstborn daughter in my arms after a completely natural birth. She was known at the hospital for looking like a doll. I would have nurses pop in just to see her.
And the doctor was pretty clinical. At the time, I was pretty offended, but it did NOT make or break my "experience". With my oldest, that doctor was the same way. Maybe they had chips on their shoulders about young moms, I don't know or just maybe they don't get personally involved.
Friday, November 25, 2011
My Birth Stories- Child #2
When my son was about 5 months old, I became part of a mother's group at my church. Many of them had had all natural births, so I decided I would shoot for that. After all, if they did it, I could too. So, when my son was about 9 months old, we decided to start trying. 3.5 months later I found out I was pregnant. We were thrilled!! I was due January 18th.
The pregnancy was pretty good. I had one bleeding episode that put me on bed rest from 30 to 36 weeks. I didn't go into preterm labor again! I ended up having her exactly one week before I was due.
Labor began with one contraction in the morning at my mom's group. It was one, and it hurt like hell. I had to breathe through it. One of my friends was sitting there and it really freaked her out. Some of us still laugh at that situation. We told her it was no big deal, probably just a Braxton-Hicks. I thought that myself!!
Now, my oldest was 20 months old, my husband worked 45 minutes away, I had no car or license. Good times! Imagine my horror when I really go into labor right after my husband left for work. Contractions, about 8 minutes apart begininng around 3pm. My adorable son is trying to reach out and comfort his mommy. I got in the tub to see if they would slow down. That didn't happen. So, I called my mother. I think it was about 4:30 when I called her. She grabbed my sister and stepdad and they made their way down here. It was around 6 when she got to the house. She knew I wanted a natural birth, so she completely supported me in it. We paged my husband (pager days, lol) and left for the hospital with my sister watching my son. Hmm, maybe seeing that peek at labor is why she's not in a hurry to have kids, lol, I've scarred her!
Upon arrival at the hospital, nobody really did anything. I got checked and was already 6cm. My mom helped me breathe and focus. When my husband arrived, my mom decided to step out of the room so we could just be together. At some point, I guess she heard me scream and came running back to the room. About 8:30ish, I was complete and ready to push. 20 minutes later, I held my firstborn daughter in my arms after a completely natural birth. She was known at the hospital for looking like a doll. I would have nurses pop in just to see her.
And the doctor was pretty clinical. At the time, I was pretty offended, but it did NOT make or break my "experience". With my oldest, that doctor was the same way. Maybe they had chips on their shoulders about young moms, I don't know or just maybe they don't get personally involved.
The pregnancy was pretty good. I had one bleeding episode that put me on bed rest from 30 to 36 weeks. I didn't go into preterm labor again! I ended up having her exactly one week before I was due.
Labor began with one contraction in the morning at my mom's group. It was one, and it hurt like hell. I had to breathe through it. One of my friends was sitting there and it really freaked her out. Some of us still laugh at that situation. We told her it was no big deal, probably just a Braxton-Hicks. I thought that myself!!
Now, my oldest was 20 months old, my husband worked 45 minutes away, I had no car or license. Good times! Imagine my horror when I really go into labor right after my husband left for work. Contractions, about 8 minutes apart begininng around 3pm. My adorable son is trying to reach out and comfort his mommy. I got in the tub to see if they would slow down. That didn't happen. So, I called my mother. I think it was about 4:30 when I called her. She grabbed my sister and stepdad and they made their way down here. It was around 6 when she got to the house. She knew I wanted a natural birth, so she completely supported me in it. We paged my husband (pager days, lol) and left for the hospital with my sister watching my son. Hmm, maybe seeing that peek at labor is why she's not in a hurry to have kids, lol, I've scarred her!
Upon arrival at the hospital, nobody really did anything. I got checked and was already 6cm. My mom helped me breathe and focus. When my husband arrived, my mom decided to step out of the room so we could just be together. At some point, I guess she heard me scream and came running back to the room. About 8:30ish, I was complete and ready to push. 20 minutes later, I held my firstborn daughter in my arms after a completely natural birth. She was known at the hospital for looking like a doll. I would have nurses pop in just to see her.
And the doctor was pretty clinical. At the time, I was pretty offended, but it did NOT make or break my "experience". With my oldest, that doctor was the same way. Maybe they had chips on their shoulders about young moms, I don't know or just maybe they don't get personally involved.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Mary's life....... I'm so thankful
My daughter spent a whopping 6 hours and 54 minutes on this earth, but 9 months carried inside of me. Through the last 3.5 years, I've spent so much time being angry that I've overlooked the blessings her life bestowed upon me. Am I still angry about what happened and how it happened?? I won't lie, I'm still furious. However, now I'm able to look back on HER, and everything I have gained, with fondness.
I'm thankful for the people my daughter has brought into my life. Some have taught me so much about faith while grieving. One huge example that I have had is my friend Jill, who lost her son to hypoplastic left heart syndrome. I don't even think she realizes how many times I have read her blog and cried while in awe at her faith and strength. My friend Heidi, she has maintained her faith and now uses it to run StillBirthday, a site full of help and resources for parents who lose babies. She has also taken it upon herself to enlist doulas that can help grieving families (including myself). My dear friend Liz, who although her heart is hurting maintains her faith and does her best to help give other children/babies a loving home. All of these women reach out to other grieving moms as well.
I'm thankful for the support and love of all the ladies from The Skeptical OB. That blog has allowed me to meet other women like myself and women who truly care about those of us who have been harmed. Together, we have started this safe homebirth movement, consisting of all the blogs on my Dear Friends list. Although people would have others believe that we are just some mean spirited group of women, we are so incredibly far from that. We help one another and reach out to others. The amount of kindness that I have seen from these ladies has just blown me away. I also met my best friend Lindsay because of our groups. She is so sweet and spunky. We are like two peas in a pod. Our children have gained the others as friends and so have our husbands. I've been embraced by her family and it just doesn't get any better than that.
I'm thankful for the lessons my daughter taught me. Even though, at times, I really would love to give up, but I look at her precious face and find the strength to keep going. I never knew what kind of an impact someone could have on my life in such a short time. She taught me that in pain, I can still make a difference and help others. I have met so many women that have lost babies that have had as much an impact on me as I have. I'm able to take my loss and help someone else who is new to this "club". Losing a child is such a lonely experience and it really helps to know "I'm not alone and there IS hope". I can hold another mother's hand through all of this. There really is strength in numbers.
I'm so thankful that she was OUR daughter and OUR children's sister. She could of been one of those swept under the rug babies that are so rampant in the homebirth community. I couldn't imagine not caring about her and only thinking of myself. She hasn't just been forgotten about. At times, I admit, I've thought to myself "I wish someone else could of gone through it instead of us", but then I imagine what kind of parent they would of been to their deceased child and it makes me sad. My daughter has a family that still keeps her memory alive. We still go to the cemetery every sunday and care for her "prime real estate". She is part of every holiday. We are involved in our support group. My children, CHILDREN, reach out to their peers who lose siblings and teachers who have lost babies. Although my children have endured something so horrific so early on in life, they have become such compassionate and loving individuals. Man, I am so proud of them and so honored to be their mother. And my husband, he has been so wonderful. We have been the perfect pair for dealing with this together. His love and support has done wonders and vice versa. I'm thankful that he is my husband and the father of all of these children.
I'm thankful that she just existed. I'm glad she chose us as her family. I know losing her has been the MOST painful experience of my life, but I have survived and AM stronger than I ever knew I was. I will continue loving and missing her for the rest of my life, but I'm thankful she was here. I HAVE a beautiful, beautiful baby girl and I'm honored to be her mother.
Mary Beth, Mommy is so thankful for YOU.
I'm thankful for the people my daughter has brought into my life. Some have taught me so much about faith while grieving. One huge example that I have had is my friend Jill, who lost her son to hypoplastic left heart syndrome. I don't even think she realizes how many times I have read her blog and cried while in awe at her faith and strength. My friend Heidi, she has maintained her faith and now uses it to run StillBirthday, a site full of help and resources for parents who lose babies. She has also taken it upon herself to enlist doulas that can help grieving families (including myself). My dear friend Liz, who although her heart is hurting maintains her faith and does her best to help give other children/babies a loving home. All of these women reach out to other grieving moms as well.
I'm thankful for the support and love of all the ladies from The Skeptical OB. That blog has allowed me to meet other women like myself and women who truly care about those of us who have been harmed. Together, we have started this safe homebirth movement, consisting of all the blogs on my Dear Friends list. Although people would have others believe that we are just some mean spirited group of women, we are so incredibly far from that. We help one another and reach out to others. The amount of kindness that I have seen from these ladies has just blown me away. I also met my best friend Lindsay because of our groups. She is so sweet and spunky. We are like two peas in a pod. Our children have gained the others as friends and so have our husbands. I've been embraced by her family and it just doesn't get any better than that.
I'm thankful for the lessons my daughter taught me. Even though, at times, I really would love to give up, but I look at her precious face and find the strength to keep going. I never knew what kind of an impact someone could have on my life in such a short time. She taught me that in pain, I can still make a difference and help others. I have met so many women that have lost babies that have had as much an impact on me as I have. I'm able to take my loss and help someone else who is new to this "club". Losing a child is such a lonely experience and it really helps to know "I'm not alone and there IS hope". I can hold another mother's hand through all of this. There really is strength in numbers.
I'm so thankful that she was OUR daughter and OUR children's sister. She could of been one of those swept under the rug babies that are so rampant in the homebirth community. I couldn't imagine not caring about her and only thinking of myself. She hasn't just been forgotten about. At times, I admit, I've thought to myself "I wish someone else could of gone through it instead of us", but then I imagine what kind of parent they would of been to their deceased child and it makes me sad. My daughter has a family that still keeps her memory alive. We still go to the cemetery every sunday and care for her "prime real estate". She is part of every holiday. We are involved in our support group. My children, CHILDREN, reach out to their peers who lose siblings and teachers who have lost babies. Although my children have endured something so horrific so early on in life, they have become such compassionate and loving individuals. Man, I am so proud of them and so honored to be their mother. And my husband, he has been so wonderful. We have been the perfect pair for dealing with this together. His love and support has done wonders and vice versa. I'm thankful that he is my husband and the father of all of these children.
I'm thankful that she just existed. I'm glad she chose us as her family. I know losing her has been the MOST painful experience of my life, but I have survived and AM stronger than I ever knew I was. I will continue loving and missing her for the rest of my life, but I'm thankful she was here. I HAVE a beautiful, beautiful baby girl and I'm honored to be her mother.
Mary Beth, Mommy is so thankful for YOU.
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