Just two short years ago, I remember being one of those uber crunchies. Homebirth was tthe safest way to bring a child into this world. My midwife was well educated and had been delivering babies in this area for 20+ years. I was in wonderful hands. Until the life of my beloved daughter slipped through those hands. Now, I am wholeheartedly against homebirth. I make no qualms about it.
When Mary died, I convinced myself that something must of been wrong. I must of done something wrong. She had to of been sick. I had the support of everyone. Upon learning that the homebirth was why she had died, I spoke up and haven't shut up yet. I will never be silent. Homebirthers try to pick apart my story (which is why I no longer share) to say she died because of this or that. I have heard that she shouldn't of been born at home to begin with as she was 36 1/2 weeks. If you really want to get technical here, according to LMP, I would of been 37 1/2 weeks to 38 weeks. I have heard that it was due to midwife negligence, not because she was born at home. Um, if I had of been in a hospital, the midwife wouldn't of factored in. They cannot grasp that low risk women can deliver at risk infants. These supportive women become venomous creatures who strike out when you speak up. They insist that anything you say is misinformation. God forbid a woman be angry. I should be silenced because I may scare someone out of making this choice. If you lose your child and speak up, be prepared.
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5 comments:
I'd rather go off of studies. I'm sorry for your loss but your scare tactics don't change the studies.
BTW - Your daughter might have died at the hospital too.
That's comical, seeing as to how actual medical doctors have told me different. Studies?? You mean the ones that cherry pick what they want to have in the study?? The ones in which an author is biased?? What about an unbiased source such as the CDC that shows out of hospital births have more deaths?? One and a half times more to be exact!
the sad thing is that you are not even close to the only one. my baby also would have lived had a birthed in a hospital. i always thought if your baby died at home, there must have been something wrong, inncompatable with life-or amybe you were too far from the hospital. well my hospital was 3 minutes away, and that didn't save Aquila. nor did my midwife...and there was nothing wrong with her. she was perfect, but when my placental peeled off she drowned in my blood.
i have to say that i now can think of three people who after what happened to Aquila, will not birth further children at home-despite normal deliveries at home previously (like me who had had THREE normal deliveries, before the one that killed my daughter)
that makes me glad, that Aquila might save some other baby's life...
You mean the CDC one that is skewed to include any unplanned deliveries, any out of hospital births that are unattended, etc? Yes. I've heard of that non-study based on incomplete data. However, numerous complete studies and real-life numbers show otherwise.
Your baby might have died in a hospital, they might have lived. You will not know this side of heaven unfortunately. It's completely normal to be angry but to take one set of statistics, cling to them, and throw them against dozens of studies that show otherwise to scare other low risk women away from homebirth is just wrong.
I'm sorry for your loss...I hope you can find peace and healing.
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