Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Janet Fraser To the woman at the shops with the weeping babe


Janet has written here a nice little piece about how this woman letting her baby cry in her pram or stroller must of had a bad birth experience!

Dear Janet,
  You do not know the woman perusing at the shops with her baby. You do not know the child. Only a mother knows their child and it's cues. This infant that you feel so badly for could just be a fussy baby who hates to be worn. Perhaps this child was just tired and when it's tired, it doesn't want messed with and gets even more pissed! You have no clue! To think that a birth created a fussy baby and a mom who let it fuss is beyond ignorant. Maybe she's stuck at home day in and day out with a fussy baby and was ready to go absolutely insane. Again, you have no clue!

You, you have no baby to place in a sling on your body because YOU chose a birth experience over your baby and your daughter died because of it. You have publicly claimed that her death wasn't as bad as your c-section, aka birthrape (once you post something online, it never goes away). You have chosen to not connect with your living children because YOU placed such a high importance on the birth that when it turned differently than how you wanted, you turned from your child. You care so much about a crying baby and your empty sling, please imagine what your living children feel knowing you don't care about them because of their mode of delivery. Talk about a broken woman! You denied your connection, nobody or anything else did it for you!

I know you are clueless, but there is a reason testing is done. To help prevent deaths. Unlike you, most of us are not ok with dead babies. I'm glad to see you know about all the testing mom had done. How do you know she was induced?? Can a natural birthing mom not let her child fuss for a few minutes because she knows the child is content? Do epidural or induction or c-section moms not hold crying babies??

Birth is not the "keenest experience of our lives". Holding our baby for the first time is. Labor and birth aren't anything awesome to most women. Why? Because we know it's not important. Some of us, including you, have learned this lesson the hard way because we got dead babies out of it. Seriously, who the hell really thinks every woman wants to have a drug free birth anywhere?? 1 out of 10 women, that's it.

I wish that through this pain you may birth yourself and find the woman in you who seeks only that which nurtures, and casts aside in future, that which does you harm. 

 (Like not having an unassisted birth as they do harm and then you have nothing to nurture)

I wish that your next birth will be eye opening, life changing and that the first hands to touch your babe will be yours. a doctors!
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