Wednesday, August 31, 2011

My sympathy has limits

I'm going to step out here and place myself under fire.

My heart breaks for every parent out there that goes through the loss of a child. There is just nothing that compares. This is an experience that I can't just get over nor will I ever heal from it nor will I find peace or any of that. I do what I can to help others like me and I speak out against unsafe homebirth practices/practitioners.

Sometimes my heart aches when I read stories of loss, but I have nothing but contempt and disdain for the parents. Why? Because they continue on promoting the very practice that killed their child. If you are a part of the movement and encouraging other women to take the risks you chose to take, you do not deserve sympathy. I know when Dr Amy blamed a mother a few months ago, she wasn't doing it to be mean. She is doing it because she has seen how many of these people have lost children and she's baffled by those who don't seem to really care.

You have four types of homebirth loss moms:

1. Mom is in an echo chamber during conception and/or pregnancy. Baby dies preventable death and mom turns from the movement. These are the moms who really thought they were doing best for their baby and are pissed!

2. Mom spends conception and/or pregnancy in an echo chamber. Baby dies preventable death and mom decides to not do it again, but is still very supportive. These are usually the ones who are sad, but think it would of happened regardless.

3. Mom is deeply involved with the movement, baby dies preventable death. Mom doesn't care and continues on.

4. Baby has an actual defect that would of claimed it's life regardless. This one is rare!

In my book, if your baby dies and you are so deeply rooted that you don't change at all, you don't deserve sympathy. You are no more than a child killer. You took your baby's life and are fine with that. I can think of one mother that Amy went after with a vengence. As an angel mom, I felt sad for her loss, but I'm also angered that she just didn't care and continued on her path. I know I'm going to piss people off here. Some of these mothers, they do not deserve sympathy at all. These babies are no treated different by their parents than the ones thrown into the trash. It's disgusting. If we wonder how a mother can throw her infant in the garbage or a dumpster, we need look no further than the leaders who have buried their children.

On another note, I'm using a different commenting system, so it should be easier to comment on here.


Stephanie said...

Good! I cannot say anything regarding the loss moms that fall into categories 2 & 3 because they will say I don't understand but what I truly don't understand is how you can continue to risk your life and especially your child's life for and ideal???

Thank you, Bambi. You are so brave and I will gladly support you!

The Momma Giraffe said...

I have to agree with your post, Bambi. Mothers that choose to homebirth despite pre-existing conditions that put them at great risk, or who state that they'd be satisfied with their birth even if the baby died as long as they avoid a c/s...well I feel so deeply for those babies that suffered and died a suffocating death, but for the mothers...I agree there are limits.

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