As I am creeping upon my nursling's third birthday, I can't help but look at the subject of extended nursing in my eyes.
The nursing relationship itself hasn't been any different with this child than my others. However, the attitudes that we have come across have left me shaking my head. Recently, we found ourselves on the receiving end of breastfeeding discrimination and I was HOTTTTT. Luckily, the woman I dealt with with was handled by superiors, one of which had been a nursing mother herself. I had the support of the local breastfeeding center, too. It was a win/win for not only myself, but other nursing mothers there.
During this relationship, these are the thing's I've been told-
She should stop because I'm just a pacifier.
If I don't stop nursing her, she won't stop.
Nursing in public is illegal.
Other children shouldn't see me nurse.
It loses it's nutritional value.
OK. Let me state that I am free to nurse my nursing child anywhere that I am allowed, by law, to be. It is not illegal to nurse her outside of my home or vehicle. Breastmilk will not magically squirt out of my breasts all over every surface around me. If a child sees me, it will not be a source of trauma or sexual perversion. The child may ask questions or they may not, but if they do, you are free to answer them truthfully. If you cannot handle awkward questions from your child, honestly, you should of thought about getting a cat or puppy, because kids are full of questions. When I nurse, 99% of the time, you cannot see anything at all. My milk is nutritious no matter how old she is, whether she's a newborn or if she's 10. Still nutritional!! Yes, my daughter likes her "boob snuggles", mainly when she's tired or just needs mommy. Sometimes, I wish I could get her doing something else because I get boobed out. Sometimes, I can sense the negativity from those I am around and don't feel we are in a safe nursing environment, so I don't want to do it there. I prefer to be low key and do not want attention.
Getting props from others is strange to me. I'm not out to get back pats from others for doing anything I do. I don't feel that I am doing anything super awesome or anything that makes me superior. I'm just doing what we do because it works. I believe this is the case with most of us who practice extended nursing. I never set out to nurse this long. If you would of asked me how long I planned to nurse, I would not of said three years. I remember getting angry with my husband for letting me know he wanted me to nurse for at least two years.
I don't get why the issue of breastfeeding, in general, has become such a hot button topic. Back when I had my oldest, it wasn't such a huge thing. Perhaps this was due to the internet not being such a huge thing yet. I never had to deal with anything more than someone giving me formula because his wife didn't nurse her one child successfully, so they wanted me prepared when I couldn't do it either (my sperm donor was not the brightest bulb, still isn't). I don't remember being angry about it or anything. Yeah, that was it. It seemed, in those days, that we were left alone. I would nurse everywhere and not a word was said. I've always been told when my kids should be weaned because "they didn't need to nurse anymore", but I've always ignored it. Seriously, other than that, that was the only issue I had with others. I don't get the deal these days. I also was NEVER one to shove it in people's faces.
Nowadays, I say, leave nursing moms alone. We are not hurting anyone, not our kids, and certainly not perfect strangers. Nursing moms, leave formula feeding moms alone. We all do what works for us and our children. As long as the child is loved and cared for, that's what matters. Let's leave the judgement/personal opinions for those who do not care for their children and I am sure we all know a few of those types.
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