Thursday, January 28, 2010

The stigma of homebirth loss

Just two short years ago, I remember being one of those uber crunchies. Homebirth was tthe safest way to bring a child into this world. My midwife was well educated and had been delivering babies in this area for 20+ years. I was in wonderful hands. Until the life of my beloved daughter slipped through those hands. Now, I am wholeheartedly against homebirth. I make no qualms about it.

When Mary died, I convinced myself that something must of been wrong. I must of done something wrong. She had to of been sick. I had the support of everyone. Upon learning that the homebirth was why she had died, I spoke up and haven't shut up yet. I will never be silent. Homebirthers try to pick apart my story (which is why I no longer share) to say she died because of this or that. I have heard that she shouldn't of been born at home to begin with as she was 36 1/2 weeks. If you really want to get technical here, according to LMP, I would of been 37 1/2 weeks to 38 weeks. I have heard that it was due to midwife negligence, not because she was born at home. Um, if I had of been in a hospital, the midwife wouldn't of factored in. They cannot grasp that low risk women can deliver at risk infants. These supportive women become venomous creatures who strike out when you speak up. They insist that anything you say is misinformation. God forbid a woman be angry. I should be silenced because I may scare someone out of making this choice. If you lose your child and speak up, be prepared.

The stigma of homebirth loss

Just two short years ago, I remember being one of those uber crunchies. Homebirth was tthe safest way to bring a child into this world. My midwife was well educated and had been delivering babies in this area for 20+ years. I was in wonderful hands. Until the life of my beloved daughter slipped through those hands. Now, I am wholeheartedly against homebirth. I make no qualms about it.

When Mary died, I convinced myself that something must of been wrong. I must of done something wrong. She had to of been sick. I had the support of everyone. Upon learning that the homebirth was why she had died, I spoke up and haven't shut up yet. I will never be silent. Homebirthers try to pick apart my story (which is why I no longer share) to say she died because of this or that. I have heard that she shouldn't of been born at home to begin with as she was 36 1/2 weeks. If you really want to get technical here, according to LMP, I would of been 37 1/2 weeks to 38 weeks. I have heard that it was due to midwife negligence, not because she was born at home. Um, if I had of been in a hospital, the midwife wouldn't of factored in. They cannot grasp that low risk women can deliver at risk infants. These supportive women become venomous creatures who strike out when you speak up. They insist that anything you say is misinformation. God forbid a woman be angry. I should be silenced because I may scare someone out of making this choice. If you lose your child and speak up, be prepared.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Mighty Vagina

As I sit back and read various mommy message boards, I witness hordes of women clamoring over the virtues of vaginal birth. Only those who have pushed a baby out of their vagina have given birth. Dangerous vaginal birth is preferred over ceasarean birth. Breech baby??? You can do it. Big baby??? Your body won't grow a child you cannot birth! If the baby is in distress, you must get up and move around. Cord tightly around neck is not a problem either. Failure to progress is always about a mom not given the appropriate time allowance.

In the days before c-section was used, mothers and babies died. The almighty vagina will not prevent injury or death to your child. A c-section can. So, why must women push the limits and put their child in harms way? Vaginal birth does not make us any more of a woman or a mother. If you have carried your child and they came out of your body, you have given birth. Having a child that you love makes you a mother, not your almighty vagina.

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