Sunday, August 24, 2008

It's hitting me

That we will never get to experience Mary's firsts. There was never a first bath, first coo, first smile, no nothing. She got the first visitors when the neighbor girls came over. That's it. We tried to have a first feed. She will never crawl, walk, get teeth, say mama or dada, walk, roll, play, swim, go to school, go to a grandparents house, talk, jump in freshly raked leaves, build a snowman, see her first christmas tree, have a first holiday, or have a birthday. All the firsts will NEVER happen, ever. We are missing out on so much. i don't think it hits me until i see friends or family members babies doing something. It's like a knife in your heart.

4 comments:

Just Me said...

I'm so sorry you are missing out on so much! My heart breaks for you!

To know one of Mary's FIRSTS was seeing the face of Jesus is the best first anyone could know..... even though so many broken hearts are left behind because she is no longer with you.

Dear Lord,

Please give this heart broken mommy the grace to get through this day & the next & any day that her pain is so raw. Lord comfort her & let your love and presence be known to her. Draw her near to you.

In Jesus name,
Amen

zadie&phoenix said...

oh Mamma, my heart hurts for you. I'm praying and sending you LOTS of hugs today

melanie said...

Oh mama. This post has me in tears for you. May the Lord rain down comfort on you today. Love you, sister!

Anonymous said...

I know how this feels. The grief when you loose a baby is amazing and huge.

Take your time, be gentle with yourself if you can.

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