Facebook group for homebirth loss moms

If you are a mother who planned a homebirth and lost your child, you are welcome to join us at Homebirth Loss Moms. Place of birth does not matter.

We need somewhere to be able to talk about our losses without feeling ostracized. Homebirth supporters love to turn the tables on us and find some reason as to why our child would of died anyway or as to how it is your fault. We live with enough guilt and they don't understand that! If you are vocal about opinion changes on mothering, you are watched and your posts will be deleted if they are not supportive of homebirth or midwives. You become hated and frankly, it's bull shit! We don't deserve that. We deserve as much support as anyone who has a death due to a dr/hospital. They take off and run with stories of dr negligence and death, but get pissed when it has to do with a midwife or homebirth. Their anecdotal evidence matters, but ours doesn't?? Now, how does that make sense? They can use all the scare tactics and horror stories as they can pull out of their ass while we have to sit down and shut up. PUHLEASE! The hypocrisy is pathetic. I'm tired of seeing women like us treated badly. I'm tired of them trying to silence us. I'm tired of them trying to tell us that our babies would of died anyways. I'm tired of seeing infant losses as just something that happens that is unpreventable. MY child's death WAS preventable if it wasn't for the fact that I had a homebirth with a grossly negligent midwife. I was and still am incredibly angry. I probably always will be. On top of that, I get to carry around the guilt of knowing that my choice killed my child. After 2+ years, I still cannot get past the guilt I carry. I can't even talk about it because I break down! This isn't your typical sadness break down, this is full out, "my chest is closing in, I cannot breathe" break down. It's very difficult to live with and I think if the hardcore HB advocates had a loss like this, they would feel the same.