Your daughter probably would have lived if born in a hospital, or maybe the nurse/doctor there would have been in a rush and missed the signs....maybe you should have thought about all those risks BEFORE deciding to have a homebirth. Maybe you should have brushed up on the signs of not breathing and distress etc. Any mother that has a home birth should know the warning signs and seek help ASAP.
You need to accept some blame for this, or else you will never heal.
Just like we shouldn't put all our trust into our doctor, we shouldn't put all our trust into our midwives, no matter what initials come after their name. You are responsible for YOU and YOUR family at the end of the day. You chose where you wanted to birth, not anyone else.
I do agree that there should be some liability for midwives, such as malpractice so families can sue in the event something happens like yours Bambi, but you don't get off with nothing. Woman up and own your choice. If everything went wonderful, you'd be proud of your decision to homebirth.
I know many women who regret going to a hospital, to only be forced with a c-section, episiotomies, etc..but they know it was their choice to go there!
Isn't that so sweet??
Bambi, no one is trying to make you feel guilty. Fact is fact, YOU hired her. It sucks. It sucks so very much.
I never said it was ALL your fault but you it wasn't all your midwife's fault either. I think you should go troll somewhere else, it's obvious how you feel and what you are trying to do on this page...
I am for informed birth whether that's at home, hospital, birth center, in the woods or wherever you so choose!
One comment here was made by a doula, the other two a woman who wants to be a CPM! This is how mothers with homebirth losses are talked to for daring to share their stories. If we wonder why there aren't more women speaking up, we can certainly look to the homebirth advocates themselves. Silence anyone who doesn't speak how you approve of. Sadly, I did share the link to my last post pouring my heart out over how I feel. Homebirth advocates WANT loss moms broken and weak, like them.