Friday, August 12, 2011

The Fed Up Group

I've seen the assumptions made about the group, so I am going to take the time to address the assumptions here.

A. We hate Natural Birth- No, we hate seeing the lies about it (ie it's not painful, you'll bond better, better chance at breastfeeding, etc). We hate seeing moms guilted into doing it. We hate seeing mothers berated and treated badly for not doing it. How many of these moms are going in there expecting orgasms and no pain only to find out that it freaking hurts and either playing the lines in their head or caving and feeling horrible afterwards. I believe this is a recipe for PPD!! Women are being set up and I don't think it's right at all. Many of us on that board have had unmedicated births, some of us have had homebirths (with a few deaths and transfers and brain injuries thrown in there). So, aside from the group name, you don't see us bashing natural birth itself.

B. Being in a group where natural birth isn't on a pedestool must mean everyone adheres to the "mainstream" lifestyle. BWAHAHAHAHAHA Ok, let me compose myself now! Not thinking natural childbirth or homebirth are the end all, be all of parenting doesn't mean a few "crunchy" things aren't done by members. Actually, I don't think we have any anti-vaxers and if we did, they don't speak of it because we do believe in vaccines! So, we have women who breastfeed and are not militant about it. We're just like "Yep, I breastfeed/have breastfed, no biggie". We have women who babywear and some do it just for the convenience factor! We have moms who homeschool. There are cloth diapering moms and boy can they trigger an ex-cloth diaperer! Sometimes I miss those cute, fluffy little butts just not the laundry! We can have knock down drag out arguments over circumcision (which I won't touch).

C. Ladies are mean. Ok, maybe that can be fairly accurate depending upon what you see discussed! There are also times where we joke around and laugh and just have fun. Like we laugh about how some of these mommy bloggers say "I'm taking a break", only to have the attention whore back in a few days when all the groveling and falling over themselves members have stopped. We get mad knowing that a blogger and her followers tamper with store products in order to promote their anti-circumcision agenda or give mothers thank you for breastfeeding business cards placed right in front of formula cans. Why they don't stick to blogging is beyond me!

If you really look and pay attention, you'll see a group of women that really cares about eachother and we care about the messages being given to other moms. We see parenting decisions as just that, a decision that doesn't make anyone more superior than another. we hate seeing women harmed by buying into the whole natural birth movement or the CPM's are educated crap. What was the old saying about not judging a book by it's cover?? Take the time to get to know people and learn about where we stand before deciding that the group name conveys the message we send, you just might be surprised!! After all, several of those bloggers we discuss has a completely opposite message than their name implies.


12 comments:

The Doula said...

I love you Bambi!!! (: (for other readers, I'm in the group)

Urbancowgrrl said...

They do not give out "thank you for breastfeeding" cards in the formula aisle, do they??? That is evil! I had to stop breastfeeding at three months to take medication for rheumatoid arthritis (which without medication had crippled me and I couldn't care for my baby). I would've started bawling right there in the grocery store if someone had done that to me!

I think I need to join the Fed Up Group because these militant-mamas drive me nuts!

The Non-Monogamist said...

Yes, the cards get propped against formula cans! They also distribute anti-circumcision cards and anti-ezzo cards. It's very odd.

norajane said...

I"m surprised they don't knock on your door with pamphlets in hand.

Anonymous said...

I'd be happy to take a "thank you for breastfeeding card" if I could hand them a "thank you for vaccinating" card in return.

Midwife{ology} said...

YES YES YES!

I recently did a blog post on this as well. You are spot on.

Tracey said...

Squillo, LOL!! Go over to Peaceful Parenting on FB and suggest that for a card!!

Elena LaVictoire said...

The pendulum swings. The movement for "all natural" is a reaction to the complete medicalization of birth. Can we not find a happy medium?

moto_librarian said...

Elena, there is already a happy medium available for birth. Many hospitals now have tubs for laboring, use intermittent EFM so the mom can move around, have birthing balls, etc. Many large hospitals have CNMs who provide prenatal care, labor and delivery, and postpartum care.

Personally, I don't think that birth has ever truly been overmedicalized. A lot of what passes for "truth" in the NCB movement is based on past practices that are no longer the norm in hospitals. When things like routine episiotomies were standard, it was because evidence suggested that it was better for mom and baby. Once it was discovered that routine episiotomies seemed to be responsible for worse tearing, the practice was discontinued. I also hear a lot of complaining about "twilight sleep." Guess what - my grandmother still speaks with fondly of this practice because it provided effective pain relief!

Elena LaVictoire said...

Moto- news just broke this week that the C_section rate is at an all time high 34% - clearly all is now well with birth in America!

moto_librarian said...

"Moto- news just broke this week that the C_section rate is at an all time high 34% - clearly all is now well with birth in America."

So what? That's not the primary c-section rate, but ALL c-sections, including repeats. I get really tired of all of the complaining about the c-section rate, particularly when a baby is born pink and screaming and it's suddenly an "unnecesserean." Just how long do you want your OB or midwife to sit on a bad strip, Elena? Do you want him/her to ignore late decels or other signs of fetal stress? Fetal monitoring is not perfect, but it's the best thing that we have right now to monitor how well a baby is tolerating labor. There's a new study out that demonstrates that constant EFM does improve birth outcomes (fewer disabilities and dead babies). Instead of complaining about a high c-section rate, why can't NCBers start advocating for and developing better ways of measuring how well a baby is tolerating labor?

moto_librarian said...

And I'll add that a c-section is only unnecessary in retrospect. The baby who comes out pink and screaming could easily be stillborn if the doctor waited too long to deliver. You want to get the baby out before it's in real trouble. Death isn't the only outcome - long term disability is a very real complication that occurs when medical professionals wait too long to intervene.

Popular Posts