Janet Fraser To the woman at the shops with the weeping babe

http://janetfraser.id.au/blog/2011/08/28/to-the-woman-at-the-shops-with-the-weeping-babe/

Janet has written here a nice little piece about how this woman letting her baby cry in her pram or stroller must of had a bad birth experience!

Dear Janet,
  You do not know the woman perusing at the shops with her baby. You do not know the child. Only a mother knows their child and it's cues. This infant that you feel so badly for could just be a fussy baby who hates to be worn. Perhaps this child was just tired and when it's tired, it doesn't want messed with and gets even more pissed! You have no clue! To think that a birth created a fussy baby and a mom who let it fuss is beyond ignorant. Maybe she's stuck at home day in and day out with a fussy baby and was ready to go absolutely insane. Again, you have no clue!

You, you have no baby to place in a sling on your body because YOU chose a birth experience over your baby and your daughter died because of it. You have publicly claimed that her death wasn't as bad as your c-section, aka birthrape (once you post something online, it never goes away). You have chosen to not connect with your living children because YOU placed such a high importance on the birth that when it turned differently than how you wanted, you turned from your child. You care so much about a crying baby and your empty sling, please imagine what your living children feel knowing you don't care about them because of their mode of delivery. Talk about a broken woman! You denied your connection, nobody or anything else did it for you!

I know you are clueless, but there is a reason testing is done. To help prevent deaths. Unlike you, most of us are not ok with dead babies. I'm glad to see you know about all the testing mom had done. How do you know she was induced?? Can a natural birthing mom not let her child fuss for a few minutes because she knows the child is content? Do epidural or induction or c-section moms not hold crying babies??

Birth is not the "keenest experience of our lives". Holding our baby for the first time is. Labor and birth aren't anything awesome to most women. Why? Because we know it's not important. Some of us, including you, have learned this lesson the hard way because we got dead babies out of it. Seriously, who the hell really thinks every woman wants to have a drug free birth anywhere?? 1 out of 10 women, that's it.

I wish that through this pain you may birth yourself and find the woman in you who seeks only that which nurtures, and casts aside in future, that which does you harm. 


 (Like not having an unassisted birth as they do harm and then you have nothing to nurture)


I wish that your next birth will be eye opening, life changing and that the first hands to touch your babe will be yours. a doctors!

Janet Fraser To the woman at the shops with the weeping babe

http://janetfraser.id.au/blog/2011/08/28/to-the-woman-at-the-shops-with-the-weeping-babe/

Janet has written here a nice little piece about how this woman letting her baby cry in her pram or stroller must of had a bad birth experience!

Dear Janet,
  You do not know the woman perusing at the shops with her baby. You do not know the child. Only a mother knows their child and it's cues. This infant that you feel so badly for could just be a fussy baby who hates to be worn. Perhaps this child was just tired and when it's tired, it doesn't want messed with and gets even more pissed! You have no clue! To think that a birth created a fussy baby and a mom who let it fuss is beyond ignorant. Maybe she's stuck at home day in and day out with a fussy baby and was ready to go absolutely insane. Again, you have no clue!

You, you have no baby to place in a sling on your body because YOU chose a birth experience over your baby and your daughter died because of it. You have publicly claimed that her death wasn't as bad as your c-section, aka birthrape (once you post something online, it never goes away). You have chosen to not connect with your living children because YOU placed such a high importance on the birth that when it turned differently than how you wanted, you turned from your child. You care so much about a crying baby and your empty sling, please imagine what your living children feel knowing you don't care about them because of their mode of delivery. Talk about a broken woman! You denied your connection, nobody or anything else did it for you!

I know you are clueless, but there is a reason testing is done. To help prevent deaths. Unlike you, most of us are not ok with dead babies. I'm glad to see you know about all the testing mom had done. How do you know she was induced?? Can a natural birthing mom not let her child fuss for a few minutes because she knows the child is content? Do epidural or induction or c-section moms not hold crying babies??

Birth is not the "keenest experience of our lives". Holding our baby for the first time is. Labor and birth aren't anything awesome to most women. Why? Because we know it's not important. Some of us, including you, have learned this lesson the hard way because we got dead babies out of it. Seriously, who the hell really thinks every woman wants to have a drug free birth anywhere?? 1 out of 10 women, that's it.

I wish that through this pain you may birth yourself and find the woman in you who seeks only that which nurtures, and casts aside in future, that which does you harm. 


 (Like not having an unassisted birth as they do harm and then you have nothing to nurture)


I wish that your next birth will be eye opening, life changing and that the first hands to touch your babe will be yours. a doctors!

Speak up, you could save a life!

  

A stressed out parent yells at their child in the grocery store. Get involved? It could just be a parent having a rough day or it could be a parent that will beat that child when they get home. 

You see children left alone in a car outside the store, motor running. Get involved? It could be a parent running in to the store real fast or it could be a parent neglecting their child(ren).

A child in your son/daughter's class has fresh bruises every few days. Get involved? It could be a child suffering from a medical condition or an abused child. 

A friend is meticulous with her home and makes sure she has dinner on the table at the exact moment her husband walks in every day to make him happy. Get involved? She could take pride in taking care of her husband and home or she may be afraid of him.

You see your sister's husband out with another woman. Get involved? He could be using protection or he may be sleeping with a petri dish. This could cause your sister's death, but will surely cause her mental and emotional anguish. 

You see your female friend out kissing another man. Get involved? Same as above. She may be using preotection or sleeping with a petri dish, but there will be emotional and mental anguish inflicted  with a chance of death.

So, why don't people get involved with these situations?? Do people not care or are they really just concerned with themselves? Do they figure since they aren't personally affected, it doesn't matter to them? 

This leads me to wonder why a parent refuses to speak out when a midwife causes the death of their child? I know it's hard to look at yourself and say "My choices did this". When you have a midwife there and rely upon her expertise, and she blows it, it's on her. So, why in the world is nobody holding her accountable? Why aren't people speaking out?? Until parents stand up and say "This is unacceptable. My baby should NOT of died", these parents will be responsible for the deaths of any other baby that occurs under this midwife's watch. Yes, I am blaming fellow parents of angels for the deaths of other babies! 

I am fuming that my baby was NUMBER SIX. Number SIX. 5 other sets of parents could of done something or created anything online that I could of found when I tried looking up information about her. When I talked about how great she was on Mothering, someone could of PMed me and said "this bitch is dangerous". Nobody did though, did they?? Because people decided to stay quiet, I trusted this quack and my baby is dead because of it. Um, thanks. 

It's funny that so many in the movement say "One bad midwife doesn't spoil the bunch". BUT you see, it does when that bunch pats the midwife on the back and ignores the grieving family and dead babies. If you don't want midwives to be seen in a bad light, maybe you should get up off your ass and stop the negligent ones from practicing. Stop giving a green light to practice to every idiot out there who doesn't want to spend some time and money going to real school. Show us that our babies actually matter to the movement. Do something. Until the environment changes, all these piece of shit midwives will be a target. How many more babies have died due to the allegiance these "parents" have pledged to their midwives?? 

Brenda is just one midwife. There is also Karen Carr and Amy Medwin and who knows who else out there like them. How many more babies have to die at the hands of people like them?? There's around 15 dead and brain damaged babies between these three. If you add in Faith Beltz, that's two more. Are that many dead babies acceptable?? If these were children being abused, would you still remain quiet?? 

 

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