In the Eyes of a Sibling

My daughter, age 11, chose to write about her sister for a Language Arts assignment. I just wanted to share.

                 By Mxxxxxxx Cxxxxxx

              The Little Angel                                                                                                                                                                 Little did I know that day was going to be the first and the last time I saw her. The day was June 5th, 2008. At the time I was only two all my siblings were there, Cxxx, Pxxxx, Exxxxx, and Jxxx. It was early in the morning suddenly my mom went into labor with her second home birth.                                                                        

 

   I was pushed out of the room and left puzzled while I heard my mom scream. Fourteen hours later a baby cried, “ It’s a healthy baby girl “, said brenda the midwife. We all got to hold her I was majorly excited about being a big sister. My mom went to sleep and we all played with mary the new baby. When I got to hold her I thought she smelled a little like baby powder. My dad thought mary went to sleep, but she wasn’t breathing he woke up my mom in a flash and they left for the hospital. I was honestly a little frightened, Mary was pronounced dead at the hospital and my parents held her for four hours crying no more like breaking down. They were forced to hand mary over, so they came home my older brother josh asked were the new baby was and they told us everything. I was very sad, We went to the funeral my mom bambi said “ we walked in mary was in a tiny casket we should have been burying her in a bassinet”. I saw her in her little white dress she was so adorable, I gave her a kiss and she was cold like ice.

In the end MaryBeth Chapman was taken from us as soon as she was given to us. She will always be our little angel.  

To The Mother Contemplating Homebirth

Dear Mother,

          I am coming to you today to beg you to please don't make the same decisions I did. You see, I chose to homebirth with a CPM. I had previously had a successful homebirth with the same midwife. I ran in many of the circles that you do now. I did the research, got midwife references, grilled my midwife, etc. Basically, I did everything you've done. I was confident in my decisions and considered myself well educated. When well-meaning people would give me grief about my decisions, I would throw out the studies proving that what I was doing was completely safe.

          Today marks 7 years since my second homebirth. Like any other mother, I get to mark today with cupcakes, crafts, balloons, and gifts. We had funfetti cupcakes with pink icing and pink sugar crystals, pink and purple balloons, 3D stickers, a cute butterfly, and two new pinwheels. We had a friend and her grandchildren join us in the festivities. It was a really nice time.

          Today also marks seven years ago that my daughter died. Scattered in with our yearly celebration are tears and pain. Picking out balloons consisted of me crying in the store and some poor unknowing cashier setting out Kleenex for me. A trip to the craft store consisted of me crying while looking at bows. When I woke up today, I instinctively cried, so my amazing doberman hopped up in my bed to help comfort me. My friend, well, she's the lovely woman that donates her time to other bereaved families by photographing our babies. She was been a gem throughout this process. Today, I received things in my daughter's memory.

          Seven years ago, my daughter died a completely preventable death because my midwife (somehow) missed the signs that she wasn't getting enough oxygen and was in respiratory distress. Instead of actually saying "I think this baby needs evaluated, transport", she told us our daughter was perfectly healthy. Perfectly HEALTHY. I have to live with the fact that I believed what I was told. My midwife, well, she's still off delivering babies even though her negligence has claimed more innocent lives than Lisa Barrett! Choosing to speak out, it made me a pariah among my friends within the homebirth community, therefore I was completely abandoned and ostracized. My grief was judged, my child's death completely disregarded.

          I do not wish this life upon any other person. It hurts so very much. I want you to have a beautiful healthy baby. I want that baby to be in your arms! I want you to be able to do all the things that were robbed of me like those sweet smiles, giggles, coos, hearing MA-MA, hugs, kisses, first teeth, holidays, etc. The list of beautiful milestones grows every day. My heart and my body, they feel this absence every single day. I don't want this for you. I urge you to please reconsider the decisions that you are making. When told that this birth will affect everything, please remember that it isn't always good change. Grief is a terrible burden to carry.

More Brenda Information

Tonight, I had this go down on Facebook:

So, my baby and what happened to her doesn't matter. She has had two peaceful births and her friend has had one. Guess what? I had one too, then I lost my daughter the next time, but that doesn't matter. How christian! I thought the christian thing was that ALL life mattered and our friends funeral service reflected her views of that. 

Yeah, my baby death doesn't matter, course I'm not gonna be mad at you and will want to remain friends! Yeah, that was dripping with sarcasm!

Let's look at Brenda, shall we, since these women have had their great births and all!

A client says I am in labor. Brenda doesn't show up. Sound familiar?? It should!! Client then becomes an assistant and stops referring others to her. How could that happen?? 

Mom was NOT 42 weeks, but 44 weeks with third homebirth baby! I have personal messages from mom detailing more information, but out of respect for her memory, I really don't feel right sharing them. 

Interesting. I recall also getting those emails!  How many risk factors do we see at play here?? Oh wait and it's another dead baby! Well, holy shit!! 

More Brenda Information

Tonight, I had this go down on Facebook:

So, my baby and what happened to her doesn't matter. She has had two peaceful births and her friend has had one. Guess what? I had one too, then I lost my daughter the next time, but that doesn't matter. How christian! I thought the christian thing was that ALL life mattered and our friends funeral service reflected her views of that. 

Yeah, my baby death doesn't matter, course I'm not gonna be mad at you and will want to remain friends! Yeah, that was dripping with sarcasm!

Let's look at Brenda, shall we, since these women have had their great births and all!

A client says I am in labor. Brenda doesn't show up. Sound familiar?? It should!! Client then becomes an assistant and stops referring others to her. How could that happen?? 

Mom was NOT 42 weeks, but 44 weeks with third homebirth baby! I have personal messages from mom detailing more information, but out of respect for her memory, I really don't feel right sharing them. 

Interesting. I recall also getting those emails!  How many risk factors do we see at play here?? Oh wait and it's another dead baby! Well, holy shit!! 

Speak up, you could save a life!

  

A stressed out parent yells at their child in the grocery store. Get involved? It could just be a parent having a rough day or it could be a parent that will beat that child when they get home. 

You see children left alone in a car outside the store, motor running. Get involved? It could be a parent running in to the store real fast or it could be a parent neglecting their child(ren).

A child in your son/daughter's class has fresh bruises every few days. Get involved? It could be a child suffering from a medical condition or an abused child. 

A friend is meticulous with her home and makes sure she has dinner on the table at the exact moment her husband walks in every day to make him happy. Get involved? She could take pride in taking care of her husband and home or she may be afraid of him.

You see your sister's husband out with another woman. Get involved? He could be using protection or he may be sleeping with a petri dish. This could cause your sister's death, but will surely cause her mental and emotional anguish. 

You see your female friend out kissing another man. Get involved? Same as above. She may be using preotection or sleeping with a petri dish, but there will be emotional and mental anguish inflicted  with a chance of death.

So, why don't people get involved with these situations?? Do people not care or are they really just concerned with themselves? Do they figure since they aren't personally affected, it doesn't matter to them? 

This leads me to wonder why a parent refuses to speak out when a midwife causes the death of their child? I know it's hard to look at yourself and say "My choices did this". When you have a midwife there and rely upon her expertise, and she blows it, it's on her. So, why in the world is nobody holding her accountable? Why aren't people speaking out?? Until parents stand up and say "This is unacceptable. My baby should NOT of died", these parents will be responsible for the deaths of any other baby that occurs under this midwife's watch. Yes, I am blaming fellow parents of angels for the deaths of other babies! 

I am fuming that my baby was NUMBER SIX. Number SIX. 5 other sets of parents could of done something or created anything online that I could of found when I tried looking up information about her. When I talked about how great she was on Mothering, someone could of PMed me and said "this bitch is dangerous". Nobody did though, did they?? Because people decided to stay quiet, I trusted this quack and my baby is dead because of it. Um, thanks. 

It's funny that so many in the movement say "One bad midwife doesn't spoil the bunch". BUT you see, it does when that bunch pats the midwife on the back and ignores the grieving family and dead babies. If you don't want midwives to be seen in a bad light, maybe you should get up off your ass and stop the negligent ones from practicing. Stop giving a green light to practice to every idiot out there who doesn't want to spend some time and money going to real school. Show us that our babies actually matter to the movement. Do something. Until the environment changes, all these piece of shit midwives will be a target. How many more babies have died due to the allegiance these "parents" have pledged to their midwives?? 

Brenda is just one midwife. There is also Karen Carr and Amy Medwin and who knows who else out there like them. How many more babies have to die at the hands of people like them?? There's around 15 dead and brain damaged babies between these three. If you add in Faith Beltz, that's two more. Are that many dead babies acceptable?? If these were children being abused, would you still remain quiet?? 

 

     . 

Speak up, you could save a life!

  

A stressed out parent yells at their child in the grocery store. Get involved? It could just be a parent having a rough day or it could be a parent that will beat that child when they get home. 

You see children left alone in a car outside the store, motor running. Get involved? It could be a parent running in to the store real fast or it could be a parent neglecting their child(ren).

A child in your son/daughter's class has fresh bruises every few days. Get involved? It could be a child suffering from a medical condition or an abused child. 

A friend is meticulous with her home and makes sure she has dinner on the table at the exact moment her husband walks in every day to make him happy. Get involved? She could take pride in taking care of her husband and home or she may be afraid of him.

You see your sister's husband out with another woman. Get involved? He could be using protection or he may be sleeping with a petri dish. This could cause your sister's death, but will surely cause her mental and emotional anguish. 

You see your female friend out kissing another man. Get involved? Same as above. She may be using preotection or sleeping with a petri dish, but there will be emotional and mental anguish inflicted  with a chance of death.

So, why don't people get involved with these situations?? Do people not care or are they really just concerned with themselves? Do they figure since they aren't personally affected, it doesn't matter to them? 

This leads me to wonder why a parent refuses to speak out when a midwife causes the death of their child? I know it's hard to look at yourself and say "My choices did this". When you have a midwife there and rely upon her expertise, and she blows it, it's on her. So, why in the world is nobody holding her accountable? Why aren't people speaking out?? Until parents stand up and say "This is unacceptable. My baby should NOT of died", these parents will be responsible for the deaths of any other baby that occurs under this midwife's watch. Yes, I am blaming fellow parents of angels for the deaths of other babies! 

I am fuming that my baby was NUMBER SIX. Number SIX. 5 other sets of parents could of done something or created anything online that I could of found when I tried looking up information about her. When I talked about how great she was on Mothering, someone could of PMed me and said "this bitch is dangerous". Nobody did though, did they?? Because people decided to stay quiet, I trusted this quack and my baby is dead because of it. Um, thanks. 

It's funny that so many in the movement say "One bad midwife doesn't spoil the bunch". BUT you see, it does when that bunch pats the midwife on the back and ignores the grieving family and dead babies. If you don't want midwives to be seen in a bad light, maybe you should get up off your ass and stop the negligent ones from practicing. Stop giving a green light to practice to every idiot out there who doesn't want to spend some time and money going to real school. Show us that our babies actually matter to the movement. Do something. Until the environment changes, all these piece of shit midwives will be a target. How many more babies have died due to the allegiance these "parents" have pledged to their midwives?? 

Brenda is just one midwife. There is also Karen Carr and Amy Medwin and who knows who else out there like them. How many more babies have to die at the hands of people like them?? There's around 15 dead and brain damaged babies between these three. If you add in Faith Beltz, that's two more. Are that many dead babies acceptable?? If these were children being abused, would you still remain quiet?? 

 

     . 

Assumptions about homebirth losses

Recently, I received a link about a michigan woman who had a stillborn daughter 3 years ago. The DEM encouraged her to continue on, ending up at 44 weeks. Of course, this leads to comments about how the mother should of researched her provider and educated herself. When any homebirth horror story is shared, this line is constantly thrown around, c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y!! Nothing grates my nerves more. This line is used to take the blame away from negligent midwives and to pacify advocates who think it can't happen to them. Well, guess what advocates?? You are just as likely to have YOUR baby die as we did.

What research didn't we do?? We ask our midwives about outcomes and credentials. We have references. What else are women suppose to do? They cannot look through all the midwives "patient" records. We also know is some states it will only show if there has been a sanction, no mention of who brought it up, or what happened, just what the ruling was. Faith Beltz's said something to the effect of not writing something down, nothing about a dead baby. So, since advocates know so much, can they please tell women how to research their midwives ahead of time?? How many are handing clients the names of mothers who lost babies due to their negligence?? My guess is NONE. Women are not nind readers and cannot predict that their midwive will fail them and their baby. If I had known Brenda would fail Mary like she did, I would of run away quickly.

As for educating ourselves- how didn't we do this? Oh, you may have a point. We read Ina, Jennifer, and Henci's books. We watched BOBB (not me, but I know others who have). We saw the summaries of various studies like the Johnson Davies and Netherlands which said homebirth was as safe or safer than hospitals. We learned all about pregnancy and childbirth. We ate perfectly and kept ourselves in shape. We learned why hospitals and Doctors are bad. We learned why cesareans occur. We educated ourselves just like advocates do now. We hung out on homebirth boards. So, what makes you think we were uneducated? It sounds like you are telling us that a mother is uneducated if her baby dies. How logical is that??

Now, one of the things I have noticed is you all are your own cheering section. Women are encouraged to have homebirths even in high risk situations. Instead of saying "This is high risk and you should have your baby in a hospital", women are told "Oh that's a variation of normal", "stick garlic in your vagina", "practice the brewer diet", "Gestational diabetes doesn't exist", etc. Then, if there is a bad outcome and the mother speaks out, she is automatically villianized. She listened to others who reinforced what her midwife was telling her so how is she to know that something is actually dangerous?? By educating herself?? Mind you, homebirth websites don't even tell or encourage hospital birth. Homebirth sites tell you how walking into a hospital means pitocin, an epidural, fetal distress, then a c-section. Women are conditioned to fear doctors and hospitals. Do you not see what kind of environment you, as a homebirth advocate, create?? So, then baby dies, you go on to mistreat the mother and blame her for her baby's death??

When a baby dies, it's death can be laid on the shoulders of the incompetant midwife and the advocates who encourage homebirth at no cost while telling mom lies about the medical system. Stop blaming parents. Blaming them won't make you immune, so just stop. Would you be happy if one of these mothers totally cracked and ended up in the psych ward, intensive counseling, or dead from suicide?? You are so worried about PPD from c-sections and traumatic births, but don't care if YOU push a grieving mother into having this. I can promise the mother blames herself all the time and carries that weight, even when all she did was choose a provider. Yet, you insist on making sure that weight she carries is unbearable, just to try to push your agenda. I would never dream of blaming a mom for her child's death, yet homebirth advocates do this all the time. Perhaps all of you need to take a step back and put yourself in another person's shoes for two seconds. Your ASSumptions about lack of research and lack of education have absolutely no credibility.

If you cannot handle these stories, start holding incompetent midwives accountable so they stop occurring. Stop lashing out at us. Lashing out at us doesn't make a midwife practice any differently. We aren't hurting the movement, negligent midwives are and your support of them is just the final nail in the proverbial coffin.

Assumptions about homebirth losses

Recently, I received a link about a michigan woman who had a stillborn daughter 3 years ago. The DEM encouraged her to continue on, ending up at 44 weeks. Of course, this leads to comments about how the mother should of researched her provider and educated herself. When any homebirth horror story is shared, this line is constantly thrown around, c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y!! Nothing grates my nerves more. This line is used to take the blame away from negligent midwives and to pacify advocates who think it can't happen to them. Well, guess what advocates?? You are just as likely to have YOUR baby die as we did.

What research didn't we do?? We ask our midwives about outcomes and credentials. We have references. What else are women suppose to do? They cannot look through all the midwives "patient" records. We also know is some states it will only show if there has been a sanction, no mention of who brought it up, or what happened, just what the ruling was. Faith Beltz's said something to the effect of not writing something down, nothing about a dead baby. So, since advocates know so much, can they please tell women how to research their midwives ahead of time?? How many are handing clients the names of mothers who lost babies due to their negligence?? My guess is NONE. Women are not nind readers and cannot predict that their midwive will fail them and their baby. If I had known Brenda would fail Mary like she did, I would of run away quickly.

As for educating ourselves- how didn't we do this? Oh, you may have a point. We read Ina, Jennifer, and Henci's books. We watched BOBB (not me, but I know others who have). We saw the summaries of various studies like the Johnson Davies and Netherlands which said homebirth was as safe or safer than hospitals. We learned all about pregnancy and childbirth. We ate perfectly and kept ourselves in shape. We learned why hospitals and Doctors are bad. We learned why cesareans occur. We educated ourselves just like advocates do now. We hung out on homebirth boards. So, what makes you think we were uneducated? It sounds like you are telling us that a mother is uneducated if her baby dies. How logical is that??

Now, one of the things I have noticed is you all are your own cheering section. Women are encouraged to have homebirths even in high risk situations. Instead of saying "This is high risk and you should have your baby in a hospital", women are told "Oh that's a variation of normal", "stick garlic in your vagina", "practice the brewer diet", "Gestational diabetes doesn't exist", etc. Then, if there is a bad outcome and the mother speaks out, she is automatically villianized. She listened to others who reinforced what her midwife was telling her so how is she to know that something is actually dangerous?? By educating herself?? Mind you, homebirth websites don't even tell or encourage hospital birth. Homebirth sites tell you how walking into a hospital means pitocin, an epidural, fetal distress, then a c-section. Women are conditioned to fear doctors and hospitals. Do you not see what kind of environment you, as a homebirth advocate, create?? So, then baby dies, you go on to mistreat the mother and blame her for her baby's death??

When a baby dies, it's death can be laid on the shoulders of the incompetant midwife and the advocates who encourage homebirth at no cost while telling mom lies about the medical system. Stop blaming parents. Blaming them won't make you immune, so just stop. Would you be happy if one of these mothers totally cracked and ended up in the psych ward, intensive counseling, or dead from suicide?? You are so worried about PPD from c-sections and traumatic births, but don't care if YOU push a grieving mother into having this. I can promise the mother blames herself all the time and carries that weight, even when all she did was choose a provider. Yet, you insist on making sure that weight she carries is unbearable, just to try to push your agenda. I would never dream of blaming a mom for her child's death, yet homebirth advocates do this all the time. Perhaps all of you need to take a step back and put yourself in another person's shoes for two seconds. Your ASSumptions about lack of research and lack of education have absolutely no credibility.

If you cannot handle these stories, start holding incompetent midwives accountable so they stop occurring. Stop lashing out at us. Lashing out at us doesn't make a midwife practice any differently. We aren't hurting the movement, negligent midwives are and your support of them is just the final nail in the proverbial coffin.

Midwives and their supporters really care!

Looking at the recent events in Virginia, soon to be Maryland too, it leads me to really think about things. Here we have a woman, Karen Carr, who feels a passion to become a midwife due to her c-section. We all have passions for things we do. My husband became passionate about sick babies, so he has chosen to go to nursing school. I am passionate about helping parents, so I am active with my support group and involved with local perinatal bereavement programs at the hospitals around here. We care because we had a baby that died.

Midwives, like Carr, have a passion, but are unwilling to make that passion become an admirable or even respectable endeavor. They want to get out there and deliver babies, but, do not want to spend the time or energy to actually get educated or trained. This is how much they care about women and babies. Instead of looking at WHY laws are the way they are when it comes to midwifery, they stick their tongue out and say they are going to do what they want regardless. They couldn't possibly understand that laws exist to protect the public. Why do they need protecting?? Because CPM's are not educated or trained.

Let's look at how we are spoon fed the line about homebirths being as safe or safer than hospital births. On one hand we have CDC Statistics showing a 3X higher risk of babies dying while on the other, we have MANA who refuses to release numbers. We have Melissa Cheyney, who accepted $53K in grant money from two organizations to help with MANAstats between fall 2008 and spring 2010, that sits on the board for the Oregon Midwifery Council and MANA, that wants oregon midwives to report to MANA. Let's look at this- One woman deciding that all members of this group share numbers and information with another organization that she is paid to help play with their numbers, that they then refuse to release. Sounds like she gets a hefty paycheck helping MANA hide their numbers. If they really cared about women, they would say "Here are the numbers". It isn't hard to do. Why not have a site like CDC Wonder allowing us to see transfers, VBAC, Twins, deaths and when they occured, breech, etc? Why don't homebirth advocates ask the questions about midwives and homebirths as they do about hospitals and OB's? Why is it acceptable for midwifery organizations to refuse to share information with the people they are trying to help? Simply put, because they really don't care about the advocates. They know these women are weak and will believe anything they say. They prey upon this weakness. We know Melissa has made a pretty penny here, so maybe we should look at the rest of the people involved with MANA. From the looks of it, since 2004, MANA has received 18 grants from the Foundation for the Advancement of Midwifery. That foundation also gave money to the authors of the infamous BMJ study, actually both years before it's release and then again a year after it's release. I'm thinking these people care more about money than they do women or babies. After all, if they cared, there wouldn't be all this money wasted on an organization that doesn't really do anything besides sit there spouting the same nonsense that they always have.

What about dead babies, who cares for them?? Good question. I would certainly say their parents and those who warn against the dangers that CPM's pose. Look at Karen Carr and Amy Medwin. Hell., look at my midwife, Brenda Newport and Faith Beltz, midwife presiding over the death of Liz P's baby. All of these midwives just chalked it up to a loss and moved on. My midwife didn't care until she knew she was at risk for being arrested, then again when she learned we filed a complaint and had information in hand. That was as far as her caring went. Midwives care when they feel they stand to lose something. That's it. Homebirth advocates, they don't care. I recently did a piece on the attitudes and things said that can outline this better. Suffice it to say, again, they don't care. As far as they are concerned, it would of happened regardless or it's your fault. They will only support you if you pretend the midwife and/or location had nothing to do with it, so you have to act like you don't care and don't talk about the circumstances, ever. Would anyone who really cared treat a homebirth loss mom like that?? No, not hardly. They would pissed as all get out that an innocent baby died. They wouldn't want to see that midwife risking lives all over. We now know Carr had two deaths within a three month time span. Advocates still think this is ok and no big deal. There are 2 dead babies out of her 135 from last year. What about all the years prior? Medwin had two dead babies a month apart! Even Melissa dismissed a complaint brought forth by parents when their baby died!! If advocates and midwives really cared, this wouldn't be so commonplace nor would it be so accepted.

What happens when there are preventable hospital losses? A) There are investigations done into conduct. People are disciplined accordingly. Doctors are sued. You won't find a doctor telling parents "Eh, babies die at other hospitals too" and then chit chatting their buddy saying "Next time, make sure you write down this BP, now go enjoy yourself". B) They look into and even do change policies. They don't want these things to happen again. It's called learning from experience. They aren't going to, again, say "Eh, babies die at other hospitals too". One preventable loss is one loss too many to doctors and hospitals. If they screw up, they want to fix it.

So, do midwives or advocates really care about women/babies?? Better yet, what have they done to show they care?

Midwives and their supporters really care!

Looking at the recent events in Virginia, soon to be Maryland too, it leads me to really think about things. Here we have a woman, Karen Carr, who feels a passion to become a midwife due to her c-section. We all have passions for things we do. My husband became passionate about sick babies, so he has chosen to go to nursing school. I am passionate about helping parents, so I am active with my support group and involved with local perinatal bereavement programs at the hospitals around here. We care because we had a baby that died.

Midwives, like Carr, have a passion, but are unwilling to make that passion become an admirable or even respectable endeavor. They want to get out there and deliver babies, but, do not want to spend the time or energy to actually get educated or trained. This is how much they care about women and babies. Instead of looking at WHY laws are the way they are when it comes to midwifery, they stick their tongue out and say they are going to do what they want regardless. They couldn't possibly understand that laws exist to protect the public. Why do they need protecting?? Because CPM's are not educated or trained.

Let's look at how we are spoon fed the line about homebirths being as safe or safer than hospital births. On one hand we have CDC Statistics showing a 3X higher risk of babies dying while on the other, we have MANA who refuses to release numbers. We have Melissa Cheyney, who accepted $53K in grant money from two organizations to help with MANAstats between fall 2008 and spring 2010, that sits on the board for the Oregon Midwifery Council and MANA, that wants oregon midwives to report to MANA. Let's look at this- One woman deciding that all members of this group share numbers and information with another organization that she is paid to help play with their numbers, that they then refuse to release. Sounds like she gets a hefty paycheck helping MANA hide their numbers. If they really cared about women, they would say "Here are the numbers". It isn't hard to do. Why not have a site like CDC Wonder allowing us to see transfers, VBAC, Twins, deaths and when they occured, breech, etc? Why don't homebirth advocates ask the questions about midwives and homebirths as they do about hospitals and OB's? Why is it acceptable for midwifery organizations to refuse to share information with the people they are trying to help? Simply put, because they really don't care about the advocates. They know these women are weak and will believe anything they say. They prey upon this weakness. We know Melissa has made a pretty penny here, so maybe we should look at the rest of the people involved with MANA. From the looks of it, since 2004, MANA has received 18 grants from the Foundation for the Advancement of Midwifery. That foundation also gave money to the authors of the infamous BMJ study, actually both years before it's release and then again a year after it's release. I'm thinking these people care more about money than they do women or babies. After all, if they cared, there wouldn't be all this money wasted on an organization that doesn't really do anything besides sit there spouting the same nonsense that they always have.

What about dead babies, who cares for them?? Good question. I would certainly say their parents and those who warn against the dangers that CPM's pose. Look at Karen Carr and Amy Medwin. Hell., look at my midwife, Brenda Newport and Faith Beltz, midwife presiding over the death of Liz P's baby. All of these midwives just chalked it up to a loss and moved on. My midwife didn't care until she knew she was at risk for being arrested, then again when she learned we filed a complaint and had information in hand. That was as far as her caring went. Midwives care when they feel they stand to lose something. That's it. Homebirth advocates, they don't care. I recently did a piece on the attitudes and things said that can outline this better. Suffice it to say, again, they don't care. As far as they are concerned, it would of happened regardless or it's your fault. They will only support you if you pretend the midwife and/or location had nothing to do with it, so you have to act like you don't care and don't talk about the circumstances, ever. Would anyone who really cared treat a homebirth loss mom like that?? No, not hardly. They would pissed as all get out that an innocent baby died. They wouldn't want to see that midwife risking lives all over. We now know Carr had two deaths within a three month time span. Advocates still think this is ok and no big deal. There are 2 dead babies out of her 135 from last year. What about all the years prior? Medwin had two dead babies a month apart! Even Melissa dismissed a complaint brought forth by parents when their baby died!! If advocates and midwives really cared, this wouldn't be so commonplace nor would it be so accepted.

What happens when there are preventable hospital losses? A) There are investigations done into conduct. People are disciplined accordingly. Doctors are sued. You won't find a doctor telling parents "Eh, babies die at other hospitals too" and then chit chatting their buddy saying "Next time, make sure you write down this BP, now go enjoy yourself". B) They look into and even do change policies. They don't want these things to happen again. It's called learning from experience. They aren't going to, again, say "Eh, babies die at other hospitals too". One preventable loss is one loss too many to doctors and hospitals. If they screw up, they want to fix it.

So, do midwives or advocates really care about women/babies?? Better yet, what have they done to show they care?

Calling out a negligent Midwife

What can you do when your child dies due to a midwife's negligence?

Let's see, we attempted to consult a lawyer only to have nobody want to help because midwives don't carry insurance.
The police wanted to charge her with Negligent Homicide, but the detective refused to go on a "witch hunt".
The midwife review board did nothing but give us shit. Funny enough, they also have sat idly by while multiple babies die under her care.
A reporter was going to help us but after an interview, we never heard from him again.

After much thought I am going to publicly share the emails and as much info as I can dig up.

Email 1

There is alot of mis-truths on this. A Baby born at 37 weeks is not pre-mature by anyones standards, not even the medical community. Respitory distress is a common label for any reason the baby stops breathing. That doesn't mean its the reason she died. The baby didn't start getting jaundice under after I left. You didn't even notice it yourself until after the pictures came back and it was still a slight case. You are very aware there was no respiratory distress while the medics were there or while I was there. Sweetie, if you thought Mary Beth was breathing funny or having any trouble at all, because you are such loving and attentive parents I know in my heart you would have never gone to lay down and take a nap, you would have called me or someone for help. James said "we addressed all of our concerns with the midwife." Why did he say that? There were no concerns when I left. If fact, no one ever called me at all afterwards, for anything. You never brought up a concern with me. I even asked you yesterday if you got the M.E.'s report and you said "not yet."

You both realize midwives don't carry insurance. You also realize what the legally is in the state of Ohio, and it's not illegal, it's unregulated. We talked about this multiple times way back when you came to talk with me during your first pregnancy. This is not your first homebirth. Bambi you are a very knowledgeable lady concerning birth. You spent many hours researching before making a decision about anything.

J, I suppose you could be angry at lots of folks because of Mary Beth's death. You could try and sue the radiologist, they usually carry insurance. You could sue me. But do you really think throwing me and my kids out on the street will make you feel better? Because there isn't any money at my house. You've known me too long and that I struggle just as you do. I'd bet I make way less income than you do. You could try and sue the medics. They thought everything was ok the first time they were there, and couldn't save her at all the second time. But, medics have immunity in Ohio. You could even get angry at each other and end up in divorce court. Lots of families do break up because of a traumatic situation. The anger you feel comes out onto each other and the family. I pray you don't allow your broken heart to control your emotions. You have a wonderful family. You are some of the best parents I've ever known.

Bambi, when you both first came to me we discussed all your questions and concerns. We talked about legal status. We talked about what happens when a mom or baby needs transported to the hospital. We talked about what possible outcomes can happen at home and at the hospital. We even talked about the possibility that a baby could have problems that no human being can fix. That would be a decision that only God makes. You could get angry at Him too. He's big enough to take it. But it still won't bring us any answers or bring Mary Beth back.

J, it seems you are trying to hurt me by writing that letter to other midwives. As far as accountability goes, I already volunteered for a peer review. (If you feel you need to be there to hear the review, you are welcome to be there.) I realize you probably want me to hurt like you are hurting. I can only assure you my heart is bleeding right along with you both. My tears don't stop just because weeks go by. I love your family. Your children are some of my kids favorite people. Bambi is someone I love and cherish and have for years.

Before you continue, please, I beg you, think about the long term harm that would come. Lawsuits never bring closure, and usually not even the money you feel would make you happy. Legal action will only allow anger and bitterness to fester and overflow onto your children and your relationship as a couple. There are times in life we simply don't get the answers we desperately want. Trying to find a place to unload blame doesn't give the answer and it doesn't heal the hurt. But it can destroy everyone in the process, including yourself and your own family.

Please talk to me.

Email 2

Sheryl told me this evening the coroner wrote "respiratory distress caused by a home birth." She said you had posted that on one of the chat sites you both share. In the years I've known you, your wisdom and willingness to research everything has always been amazing to me. You take no ones word for anything. You investigate it yourself. Thats why when hospital births were not giving you the opportunity to birth your babies in the way you knew was right....you did the research and found another way. You never once simply took my word for it. You studied and examined everything to make sure you were making the best decision for your family. I admire that. I'm counting on that wisdom now. Please think about what the coroner is saying. A home birth cannot possibly cause respiratory distress. That can happen at home, in a taxi or in the hospital waiting room itself. That is a general label and term used for a person who stopped breathing. It is why Mary Beth stopped breathing that is the cause of death. Where she was born had nothing to do with that. I know you know that.

What the coroner is doing is exactly what any doc does when they want people to follow the hospital path, the place the blame on a homebirth or midwife. Repository distress can be a lung defect, a choking, or even a SIDS death. You can have that diagnosis at the moment of birth, several hours later, or even as an old man. It is a very loose term to say in medical lingo we don't have an answer. So the way to get good people angry is to blame midwives.

Your hurting and pain is so hard to face right now. But please do not allow yourself to be sucked into one medial doc's statement. Please participate in the review process with us. Come with me to one of my own back up doctors and we'll hash out together what could have been going on, what we might have missed or done differently. At least an OB will have the most experience in birth, life and death and babies in trouble. A medical examiner will only have experience in death.

I want so much to come over tomorrow and hold you. Can we go over his report together? Can we find a way to work thru all this pain by supporting each other? Can we please lay out all the issues and walk thru them one by one until we find true understanding of how Mary Beth died?

We are both Christian familys. And in that spirit of friendship can we work together to find the truth. If we allow anger and bitterness to reign we loose sight of our friendship and love as friends, we'll lose sight of the goal to find the real reason the breathing distress came on and bring closure. We lose sight of our familes and husbands as we start throwing mud and insults and stinging words. Then everyone loses. Please don't do this to all the familes involved. Protect your family and your marriage above all buy not allowing the anger at the unknown destroy. God have a wonderful plan for sweet Mary Beth. Lets find that goal for her life together.

Please Bambi, Please call me, write me back or I'd love to come over. I wold be thrilled to come tomorrow to talk if you would be gracious to invite me. We'll talk, we'll investigate ideas and share what we fond and return on the path of continuing to be friends.

Please, please talk to me. Can I come over for awhile to visit?

Email 3

I keep trying to talk to you and I'm getting a wall of silence. We are friends. Please don't shut me out of your life. Especially based on one lone doctors opinion.

I will be able to send your birth records tomorrow. Even though it seems you want them to try and use against me, they are your records and I will not keep them from you. I do, however, need to hear from you that you still want them and acknowledge them coming still you are not talking with me.

Please, please, think about what you are doing. Mary Beth is a beautiful little daughter and would not want fighting or destruction to midwifery being done in her memory. There is always a risk with life. We don't always understand why life takes the turns it does. It doesn't mean it was anyones fault. You have been a mom and baby advocate for many years. You know the advantages in midwife care and home births for families. What James is contemplating doing will destroy midwifery for moms all over the state. You've seen the ACOG statement, they want midwifery destroyed in all 50 states by next year.

Please talk to me.

I've had a few minor "run-ins" where I was questioned by the hospital doctors and/or the coroner. But once I was in enough "trouble" that I was required to be at a few police interviews and it was eventually taken to the Stark County Grand Jury. I delivered a set of twins. This mom had been my friend for 12 years and I delivered 5 of her other 6 children. She always goes 3 weeks over her due dates, and always gives birth to huge babies…10.5 to 11.5 pounds (never diabetic though).

In this case her twins were born 10 days early, but in my mind she could actually have babies that were almost 5 weeks early…regardless that they weighed 8-8.5 each. When one baby started having breathing problems two days after birth we got him to th e hospital. He was fine after transporting, but died the next day in the hospital under the doctors' care. The doctor and coroner both adamantly insisted I was a nutcase, this baby was only 10 days early and couldn't have had immature lungs. Yet the de ath report states just that.

They tried to charge the parents with child abuse and neglect (for – believe it or not! – obeying the midwife!). They tried to charge me with manslaughter. Although I was never formally charged, the prosecutor tried every angle to blame the death on me. The grand jury refused to charge me with anything and it was all finally dropped.

At the beginning I started bringing my own tape recorder with me to each interview. Partly because I thought if I would just cooperate they would see I had done nothing wrong and would not need an attorney, so I wanted my own record. That thoroughly pissed off the police. Since I hadn't been charged, they were told they had to allow it. That was the best thing I could have done and saved my butt several times when they tried to make up statements and comments later.

Second, I made copies of everything from the first afternoon the baby died. I copied all my records, copied all pictures taken at the birth, and made copies of the videotape the grandma made of the birth. I labeled the tape "Christmas Vacation 2000" and then handed three copies out to friends, instructing them to hide or give away the tapes and not tell me where they are. That videotape would be confiscated by the police and I wanted nothing edited or deleted.

I also started storing my birth bags at another house. It was a real pain to have to travel there to collect things before getting off to a birth, but I wasn't willing to lose a life's work worth of equipment just because the police would come in and do a sudden sweep of my house. The parents and I are still friends (they too were found innocent).

Anyway, that is my two cents. Copy everything, store your stuff elsewhere until all danger is passed, and take your own tape recorder to all interviews (especially if you don't have an attorney the first time you talk to someone!).

Brenda Scarpino

http://74.6.239.67/search/cache?ei=UTF-8&p=brenda+scarpino&fr=chrf-ytbm&u=www.fromcallingtocourtroom.net/defaultchap1.htm&w=brenda+scarpino&d=fDS0RrZfVLSN&icp=1&.intl=us&sig=MdwGfOqaKVhWf5orLlngXw

http://www.clevescene.com/cleveland/midwife-crisis/Content?oid=1495304

Brenda Scarpino-Newport, you are a negligent midwife and did cause my daughter's death.

Calling out a negligent Midwife

What can you do when your child dies due to a midwife's negligence?

Let's see, we attempted to consult a lawyer only to have nobody want to help because midwives don't carry insurance.
The police wanted to charge her with Negligent Homicide, but the detective refused to go on a "witch hunt".
The midwife review board did nothing but give us shit. Funny enough, they also have sat idly by while multiple babies die under her care.
A reporter was going to help us but after an interview, we never heard from him again.

After much thought I am going to publicly share the emails and as much info as I can dig up.

Email 1

There is alot of mis-truths on this. A Baby born at 37 weeks is not pre-mature by anyones standards, not even the medical community. Respitory distress is a common label for any reason the baby stops breathing. That doesn't mean its the reason she died. The baby didn't start getting jaundice under after I left. You didn't even notice it yourself until after the pictures came back and it was still a slight case. You are very aware there was no respiratory distress while the medics were there or while I was there. Sweetie, if you thought Mary Beth was breathing funny or having any trouble at all, because you are such loving and attentive parents I know in my heart you would have never gone to lay down and take a nap, you would have called me or someone for help. James said "we addressed all of our concerns with the midwife." Why did he say that? There were no concerns when I left. If fact, no one ever called me at all afterwards, for anything. You never brought up a concern with me. I even asked you yesterday if you got the M.E.'s report and you said "not yet."

You both realize midwives don't carry insurance. You also realize what the legally is in the state of Ohio, and it's not illegal, it's unregulated. We talked about this multiple times way back when you came to talk with me during your first pregnancy. This is not your first homebirth. Bambi you are a very knowledgeable lady concerning birth. You spent many hours researching before making a decision about anything.

J, I suppose you could be angry at lots of folks because of Mary Beth's death. You could try and sue the radiologist, they usually carry insurance. You could sue me. But do you really think throwing me and my kids out on the street will make you feel better? Because there isn't any money at my house. You've known me too long and that I struggle just as you do. I'd bet I make way less income than you do. You could try and sue the medics. They thought everything was ok the first time they were there, and couldn't save her at all the second time. But, medics have immunity in Ohio. You could even get angry at each other and end up in divorce court. Lots of families do break up because of a traumatic situation. The anger you feel comes out onto each other and the family. I pray you don't allow your broken heart to control your emotions. You have a wonderful family. You are some of the best parents I've ever known.

Bambi, when you both first came to me we discussed all your questions and concerns. We talked about legal status. We talked about what happens when a mom or baby needs transported to the hospital. We talked about what possible outcomes can happen at home and at the hospital. We even talked about the possibility that a baby could have problems that no human being can fix. That would be a decision that only God makes. You could get angry at Him too. He's big enough to take it. But it still won't bring us any answers or bring Mary Beth back.

J, it seems you are trying to hurt me by writing that letter to other midwives. As far as accountability goes, I already volunteered for a peer review. (If you feel you need to be there to hear the review, you are welcome to be there.) I realize you probably want me to hurt like you are hurting. I can only assure you my heart is bleeding right along with you both. My tears don't stop just because weeks go by. I love your family. Your children are some of my kids favorite people. Bambi is someone I love and cherish and have for years.

Before you continue, please, I beg you, think about the long term harm that would come. Lawsuits never bring closure, and usually not even the money you feel would make you happy. Legal action will only allow anger and bitterness to fester and overflow onto your children and your relationship as a couple. There are times in life we simply don't get the answers we desperately want. Trying to find a place to unload blame doesn't give the answer and it doesn't heal the hurt. But it can destroy everyone in the process, including yourself and your own family.

Please talk to me.

Email 2

Sheryl told me this evening the coroner wrote "respiratory distress caused by a home birth." She said you had posted that on one of the chat sites you both share. In the years I've known you, your wisdom and willingness to research everything has always been amazing to me. You take no ones word for anything. You investigate it yourself. Thats why when hospital births were not giving you the opportunity to birth your babies in the way you knew was right....you did the research and found another way. You never once simply took my word for it. You studied and examined everything to make sure you were making the best decision for your family. I admire that. I'm counting on that wisdom now. Please think about what the coroner is saying. A home birth cannot possibly cause respiratory distress. That can happen at home, in a taxi or in the hospital waiting room itself. That is a general label and term used for a person who stopped breathing. It is why Mary Beth stopped breathing that is the cause of death. Where she was born had nothing to do with that. I know you know that.

What the coroner is doing is exactly what any doc does when they want people to follow the hospital path, the place the blame on a homebirth or midwife. Repository distress can be a lung defect, a choking, or even a SIDS death. You can have that diagnosis at the moment of birth, several hours later, or even as an old man. It is a very loose term to say in medical lingo we don't have an answer. So the way to get good people angry is to blame midwives.

Your hurting and pain is so hard to face right now. But please do not allow yourself to be sucked into one medial doc's statement. Please participate in the review process with us. Come with me to one of my own back up doctors and we'll hash out together what could have been going on, what we might have missed or done differently. At least an OB will have the most experience in birth, life and death and babies in trouble. A medical examiner will only have experience in death.

I want so much to come over tomorrow and hold you. Can we go over his report together? Can we find a way to work thru all this pain by supporting each other? Can we please lay out all the issues and walk thru them one by one until we find true understanding of how Mary Beth died?

We are both Christian familys. And in that spirit of friendship can we work together to find the truth. If we allow anger and bitterness to reign we loose sight of our friendship and love as friends, we'll lose sight of the goal to find the real reason the breathing distress came on and bring closure. We lose sight of our familes and husbands as we start throwing mud and insults and stinging words. Then everyone loses. Please don't do this to all the familes involved. Protect your family and your marriage above all buy not allowing the anger at the unknown destroy. God have a wonderful plan for sweet Mary Beth. Lets find that goal for her life together.

Please Bambi, Please call me, write me back or I'd love to come over. I wold be thrilled to come tomorrow to talk if you would be gracious to invite me. We'll talk, we'll investigate ideas and share what we fond and return on the path of continuing to be friends.

Please, please talk to me. Can I come over for awhile to visit?

Email 3

I keep trying to talk to you and I'm getting a wall of silence. We are friends. Please don't shut me out of your life. Especially based on one lone doctors opinion.

I will be able to send your birth records tomorrow. Even though it seems you want them to try and use against me, they are your records and I will not keep them from you. I do, however, need to hear from you that you still want them and acknowledge them coming still you are not talking with me.

Please, please, think about what you are doing. Mary Beth is a beautiful little daughter and would not want fighting or destruction to midwifery being done in her memory. There is always a risk with life. We don't always understand why life takes the turns it does. It doesn't mean it was anyones fault. You have been a mom and baby advocate for many years. You know the advantages in midwife care and home births for families. What James is contemplating doing will destroy midwifery for moms all over the state. You've seen the ACOG statement, they want midwifery destroyed in all 50 states by next year.

Please talk to me.

I've had a few minor "run-ins" where I was questioned by the hospital doctors and/or the coroner. But once I was in enough "trouble" that I was required to be at a few police interviews and it was eventually taken to the Stark County Grand Jury. I delivered a set of twins. This mom had been my friend for 12 years and I delivered 5 of her other 6 children. She always goes 3 weeks over her due dates, and always gives birth to huge babies…10.5 to 11.5 pounds (never diabetic though).

In this case her twins were born 10 days early, but in my mind she could actually have babies that were almost 5 weeks early…regardless that they weighed 8-8.5 each. When one baby started having breathing problems two days after birth we got him to th e hospital. He was fine after transporting, but died the next day in the hospital under the doctors' care. The doctor and coroner both adamantly insisted I was a nutcase, this baby was only 10 days early and couldn't have had immature lungs. Yet the de ath report states just that.

They tried to charge the parents with child abuse and neglect (for – believe it or not! – obeying the midwife!). They tried to charge me with manslaughter. Although I was never formally charged, the prosecutor tried every angle to blame the death on me. The grand jury refused to charge me with anything and it was all finally dropped.

At the beginning I started bringing my own tape recorder with me to each interview. Partly because I thought if I would just cooperate they would see I had done nothing wrong and would not need an attorney, so I wanted my own record. That thoroughly pissed off the police. Since I hadn't been charged, they were told they had to allow it. That was the best thing I could have done and saved my butt several times when they tried to make up statements and comments later.

Second, I made copies of everything from the first afternoon the baby died. I copied all my records, copied all pictures taken at the birth, and made copies of the videotape the grandma made of the birth. I labeled the tape "Christmas Vacation 2000" and then handed three copies out to friends, instructing them to hide or give away the tapes and not tell me where they are. That videotape would be confiscated by the police and I wanted nothing edited or deleted.

I also started storing my birth bags at another house. It was a real pain to have to travel there to collect things before getting off to a birth, but I wasn't willing to lose a life's work worth of equipment just because the police would come in and do a sudden sweep of my house. The parents and I are still friends (they too were found innocent).

Anyway, that is my two cents. Copy everything, store your stuff elsewhere until all danger is passed, and take your own tape recorder to all interviews (especially if you don't have an attorney the first time you talk to someone!).

Brenda Scarpino

http://74.6.239.67/search/cache?ei=UTF-8&p=brenda+scarpino&fr=chrf-ytbm&u=www.fromcallingtocourtroom.net/defaultchap1.htm&w=brenda+scarpino&d=fDS0RrZfVLSN&icp=1&.intl=us&sig=MdwGfOqaKVhWf5orLlngXw

http://www.clevescene.com/cleveland/midwife-crisis/Content?oid=1495304

Brenda Scarpino-Newport, you are a negligent midwife and did cause my daughter's death.