Thursday, April 7, 2011

Hurt by Hospital Birth

Over the past 34 months homebirth advocates have taught me a lot. They have taught me that babies lost don't matter at all. They get angry when a homebirth death is shared and make comments about how the baby would of died anyway, babies die in the hospital too, and the location had nothing to do with it. They are incredibly rude and hurtful towards moms with any homebirth loss or injury. Obviously, when Dr Amy started up the Hurt by Homebirth site, we received serious backlash. Advocates were incredibly angry that there wasn't a hurt by hospital birth site. So, one San Diego area licensed midwife, named Vickii Gervais, decided to start a hurt by hospital birth site.

Now, what kind of stories are on this site?? How many mothers or babies died due to negligence?? How many mothers or babies were injured?? The answer to these questions is none. What consitutues being hurt by hospital birth??

Story 1: was a mom who ended up with an emergency c-section at 35 weeks for a footling breech. An inverted T incision was given in order to get baby out. Mom later had a VBA3C in the hospital with a supportive OB. The 4th child just happened to of also been her only full term baby. This was her blessing from Jesus!

Story 2: was a mom who didn't get her birth plan followed. She had fetal monitors strapped to her belly that were snug, didn't labor in the shower, didn't get her waterbirth, and was left to labor with her husband/family. Oh, then the drain was clogged in her shower.

Then story 3: Mom who (in 1975) was strapped down, given an IV, given oxygen, given an episiotomy and had her baby taken for 6 hours. That one did make me cringe. However, I took the opportunity to call my own mother and ask about birthing practices when I was born (1980). Turns out it was routine to rush you to a birthing room alone, do an enema, do an episiotomy, put legs in stirrups to push, then take baby for a bit. If you've had a baby in the last 20 years, you'll know this is no longer routine care. My mother was with me for the birth of my youngest and was quite impressed with all the changes made.

What really got me about these stories was their attempt at one-upping women who had their babies die. I would happily have a c-section or a deviation from my birth plan if it meant a living child. Are you trying to tell us that a non perfect birth experience is worse than having a dead baby?? Is your experience that much more important than the baby's??

This site thoroughly disgusts me and I cannot believe someone who calls themselves a professional would publish stories of women who weren't harmed or hurt by a hospital birth. They are women who sound like my children when I don't buy the flavor ice cream they wanted!

Hurt by Hospital Birth

Over the past 34 months homebirth advocates have taught me a lot. They have taught me that babies lost don't matter at all. They get angry when a homebirth death is shared and make comments about how the baby would of died anyway, babies die in the hospital too, and the location had nothing to do with it. They are incredibly rude and hurtful towards moms with any homebirth loss or injury. Obviously, when Dr Amy started up the Hurt by Homebirth site, we received serious backlash. Advocates were incredibly angry that there wasn't a hurt by hospital birth site. So, one San Diego area licensed midwife, named Vickii Gervais, decided to start a hurt by hospital birth site.

Now, what kind of stories are on this site?? How many mothers or babies died due to negligence?? How many mothers or babies were injured?? The answer to these questions is none. What consitutues being hurt by hospital birth??

Story 1: was a mom who ended up with an emergency c-section at 35 weeks for a footling breech. An inverted T incision was given in order to get baby out. Mom later had a VBA3C in the hospital with a supportive OB. The 4th child just happened to of also been her only full term baby. This was her blessing from Jesus!

Story 2: was a mom who didn't get her birth plan followed. She had fetal monitors strapped to her belly that were snug, didn't labor in the shower, didn't get her waterbirth, and was left to labor with her husband/family. Oh, then the drain was clogged in her shower.

Then story 3: Mom who (in 1975) was strapped down, given an IV, given oxygen, given an episiotomy and had her baby taken for 6 hours. That one did make me cringe. However, I took the opportunity to call my own mother and ask about birthing practices when I was born (1980). Turns out it was routine to rush you to a birthing room alone, do an enema, do an episiotomy, put legs in stirrups to push, then take baby for a bit. If you've had a baby in the last 20 years, you'll know this is no longer routine care. My mother was with me for the birth of my youngest and was quite impressed with all the changes made.

What really got me about these stories was their attempt at one-upping women who had their babies die. I would happily have a c-section or a deviation from my birth plan if it meant a living child. Are you trying to tell us that a non perfect birth experience is worse than having a dead baby?? Is your experience that much more important than the baby's??

This site thoroughly disgusts me and I cannot believe someone who calls themselves a professional would publish stories of women who weren't harmed or hurt by a hospital birth. They are women who sound like my children when I don't buy the flavor ice cream they wanted!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Parenting and what really matters

As we raise our children, we have to ALWAYS look at what is best for them. Birth won't affect them unless they end up brain damaged or dead. That's right, a "peaceful gentle birth" won't give you a serene and happy child. Leaving a kid intact won't do anything but leave some skin on their penis. It won't affect their personality at all. When our kids are sitting in kindergarten, you won't be able to tell who was breastfed, intact, co-slept, waterbirthed, etc. There truly is no difference.

Now, looking at school aged children, you can tell what kind of parents they have. Are the parents even involved? Are they shown love? Are they yelled at and hit all the time? You can tell a lot of the child's home life by watching a child. Many children across this world are abused and neglected by their parents. Children who go home from school that are yelled at, cussed at, and beaten- meant to feel like they don't matter at all. Children who are abandoned by a parent because the parent didn't want the child. Children who are used to hurt another parents because that parent angered the other with no regard to how this is harming the child involved. Real abuse happens all the time.

Real parenting is what happens as our children grow. It is how we treat them. It's how we show them we love them. It's in the hugs, kisses, and "just because" cuddles. It's in the encouragement we give our children. It's in the lessons we teach them as they get older. Guess what?? Even moms who have breastfed, left their son intact, co-slept, natural birthed, etc have abused and do abuse their children daily. So, obviously these don't make you an exceptional parent. They make you a parent just like that mom who makes more mainstream choices. We are all on this hamster wheel together, not separately.

If we spend our time talking about stupid things such as feeding, birthing, circing, vaxing,or sleeping choices, what about the children who are really being harmed out there?? Are we willing to drop the trivial bullshit and help these small members of society? What is more important here?? Me, I'm tired of seeing what is going on around me. I'm done and fed up with these parents. Where does your focus lie? Can you lie your beliefs down and take up the real issues of abuse/neglect surrounding us??

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