When a couple is planning a wedding, most of the time, the bride is in control of everything. Some couples just slip quietly to a justice of the peace, some elope, some have small intimate gatherings, and others have massive celebrations. It all varies amongst couples.
For us, it was something small as an actual wedding didn't mean much to us. For some women, they have to plan it for an extended time. All of their focus is spent on this one day. The wedding and reception have to go off without a hitch. Couples will go so far as to hire a planner who can make all their wishes come true.
What types of things are important and why?? I asked this question on my facebook to see what answers I would get. Two friends said the photographer was important because they take the pictures. Ok, got me there. Pictures are always important no matter the occassion! This is why my phone uploads to facebook. One friend said the vows because these are the promises you make for life. Ok, agreed there. One friend said the attitudes by bride and groom are important. Agreed!
Now, what about things that really don't matter? Does it matter if the groom can ride in on a stallion? What if the tiara isn't the right pattern? What if the train isn't long enough? What if the wedding cake isn't colorful enough? Yeah, these are all things that can devastate a bride. I'm sure we've all seen or dealt with brides that make you say, "WTF?".
If women spend all this time focused on the wedding, how much time is spent preparing for the actual marriage? Is the wedding the most important part of the marriage or is it just the beginning?
Let's switch out wedding for birth and see how they compare.
Minister/Birth attendant
Premarital counseling/childbirth education
Venue/birthplace
Bridal party/support people
Wedding photographer/birth photographer-videographer
Wedding attire/birth attire
Honeymoon/babymoon
Food and cake/food and drink
Gifts/gifts
Registry/registry
Message boards/message boards
magazines/magazines
Bridezilla/Preggozilla
So, how many weddings, that didn't go according to plan, completely destroy the bond between husband and wife? If you say none, why is it that women buy that birth experiences ruin the bond between mother and child? There really is nothing different between the day you give birth than the day you get married. Just something to think about!
Just a warning: when you know a bridezilla, steer clear when she gets pregnant! If the mom is a preggozilla who isn't married, stay away from her while she plans her wedding! Actually, I would steer clear of her all the time!
Friday, April 22, 2011
The importance of a wedding
When a couple is planning a wedding, most of the time, the bride is in control of everything. Some couples just slip quietly to a justice of the peace, some elope, some have small intimate gatherings, and others have massive celebrations. It all varies amongst couples.
For us, it was something small as an actual wedding didn't mean much to us. For some women, they have to plan it for an extended time. All of their focus is spent on this one day. The wedding and reception have to go off without a hitch. Couples will go so far as to hire a planner who can make all their wishes come true.
What types of things are important and why?? I asked this question on my facebook to see what answers I would get. Two friends said the photographer was important because they take the pictures. Ok, got me there. Pictures are always important no matter the occassion! This is why my phone uploads to facebook. One friend said the vows because these are the promises you make for life. Ok, agreed there. One friend said the attitudes by bride and groom are important. Agreed!
Now, what about things that really don't matter? Does it matter if the groom can ride in on a stallion? What if the tiara isn't the right pattern? What if the train isn't long enough? What if the wedding cake isn't colorful enough? Yeah, these are all things that can devastate a bride. I'm sure we've all seen or dealt with brides that make you say, "WTF?".
If women spend all this time focused on the wedding, how much time is spent preparing for the actual marriage? Is the wedding the most important part of the marriage or is it just the beginning?
Let's switch out wedding for birth and see how they compare.
Minister/Birth attendant
Premarital counseling/childbirth education
Venue/birthplace
Bridal party/support people
Wedding photographer/birth photographer-videographer
Wedding attire/birth attire
Honeymoon/babymoon
Food and cake/food and drink
Gifts/gifts
Registry/registry
Message boards/message boards
magazines/magazines
Bridezilla/Preggozilla
So, how many weddings, that didn't go according to plan, completely destroy the bond between husband and wife? If you say none, why is it that women buy that birth experiences ruin the bond between mother and child? There really is nothing different between the day you give birth than the day you get married. Just something to think about!
Just a warning: when you know a bridezilla, steer clear when she gets pregnant! If the mom is a preggozilla who isn't married, stay away from her while she plans her wedding! Actually, I would steer clear of her all the time!
For us, it was something small as an actual wedding didn't mean much to us. For some women, they have to plan it for an extended time. All of their focus is spent on this one day. The wedding and reception have to go off without a hitch. Couples will go so far as to hire a planner who can make all their wishes come true.
What types of things are important and why?? I asked this question on my facebook to see what answers I would get. Two friends said the photographer was important because they take the pictures. Ok, got me there. Pictures are always important no matter the occassion! This is why my phone uploads to facebook. One friend said the vows because these are the promises you make for life. Ok, agreed there. One friend said the attitudes by bride and groom are important. Agreed!
Now, what about things that really don't matter? Does it matter if the groom can ride in on a stallion? What if the tiara isn't the right pattern? What if the train isn't long enough? What if the wedding cake isn't colorful enough? Yeah, these are all things that can devastate a bride. I'm sure we've all seen or dealt with brides that make you say, "WTF?".
If women spend all this time focused on the wedding, how much time is spent preparing for the actual marriage? Is the wedding the most important part of the marriage or is it just the beginning?
Let's switch out wedding for birth and see how they compare.
Minister/Birth attendant
Premarital counseling/childbirth education
Venue/birthplace
Bridal party/support people
Wedding photographer/birth photographer-videographer
Wedding attire/birth attire
Honeymoon/babymoon
Food and cake/food and drink
Gifts/gifts
Registry/registry
Message boards/message boards
magazines/magazines
Bridezilla/Preggozilla
So, how many weddings, that didn't go according to plan, completely destroy the bond between husband and wife? If you say none, why is it that women buy that birth experiences ruin the bond between mother and child? There really is nothing different between the day you give birth than the day you get married. Just something to think about!
Just a warning: when you know a bridezilla, steer clear when she gets pregnant! If the mom is a preggozilla who isn't married, stay away from her while she plans her wedding! Actually, I would steer clear of her all the time!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Looking at Ina's Quilt
As we all know, Ina has created her Safe Motherhood Quilt as a way to memoralize mothers who die due to pregnancy issues. This is a very noble cause. I think it's great to remember those who have passed on.
Now, things get sticky when you start breaking down numbers and stories. Of all the women listed, there is no proof that 26 of them ever existed. There are news stories, SSDI registries, and/or websites for the rest of these women. I have to wonder if Ina even bothered to verify the existence of these women.
On top of these women whose identities cannot be confirmed, we have women that died from actual non-pregnancy related issues. There is one woman who died after being abused by her partner, one who was in a car accident the night before, one who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, one who had an asthma attack, etc. Several mothers died due to h1n1. That took the lives of many people, not just pregnant mothers. Women who dealt with illness or heart problems also died.Pregnancy doesn't give you heart problems. Pregnancy can give you something called cardiomyopathy. This can make a mother very ill and possibly take her life. Now, in some women with existing heart conditions, it can certainly exacerbate the problems. There are women who had pulmonary embolisms or aneurysms. Two Jehovah Witnesses chose to bleed to death after refusing transfusions.
Another one of the things that caught me eye is the fact that she claims death due to pregnancy/childbirth some time later. One death was blamed on two cesareans with the last being 25 years earlier! One mother was brain damaged for two years due to septicemia after carrying around a dead fetus. She was a midwife client planning her 5th homebirth. One mother was said to of developed congestive heart failure due to pregnancy and succumbed to it two years later. Yes, the mom with brain damage, we can attribute that to the issues related to pregnancy, but the others aren't.
So, if we count all the mothers who died due to other issues and unconfirmed identites, you remove 78 women. Causes of death related to pregnancy are due to things like infections (several abortion related are listed making me think Ina scours a certain pro-life site), hemorrhage (yep, a few here are also from a pro-life site), amniotic fluid embolism, and blood pressure issues (HELLP, toxemia, eclampsia, pre-e). These make up 61% of the mothers on the quilt,
Ina claims the maternal mortality rate is 1.5 to 3 times higher than is reported. Her quilt is proof of why she thinks this. If you add in women who die of any cause within 1 year, women who die that ever had a c-section, and women who are diagnosed with an illness either during pregnacy or within 1 year postpartum the numbers are going to be higher. However, this is an incredibly dishonest way to try to manipulate numbers and people's trust. Now that I'm thinking about it, isn't this how natural birth advocates try to say cesarean babies die three times as often as vaginally birthed babies?? It's quite interesting how Ina and her followers love to manipulate data to claim that doctors and hospitals are so evil!
ETA: I found that I missed a woman. Make that 27 women with unconfirmed identities!
Now, things get sticky when you start breaking down numbers and stories. Of all the women listed, there is no proof that 26 of them ever existed. There are news stories, SSDI registries, and/or websites for the rest of these women. I have to wonder if Ina even bothered to verify the existence of these women.
On top of these women whose identities cannot be confirmed, we have women that died from actual non-pregnancy related issues. There is one woman who died after being abused by her partner, one who was in a car accident the night before, one who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, one who had an asthma attack, etc. Several mothers died due to h1n1. That took the lives of many people, not just pregnant mothers. Women who dealt with illness or heart problems also died.
Another one of the things that caught me eye is the fact that she claims death due to pregnancy/childbirth some time later. One death was blamed on two cesareans with the last being 25 years earlier! One mother was brain damaged for two years due to septicemia after carrying around a dead fetus. She was a midwife client planning her 5th homebirth. One mother was said to of developed congestive heart failure due to pregnancy and succumbed to it two years later. Yes, the mom with brain damage, we can attribute that to the issues related to pregnancy, but the others aren't.
So, if we count all the mothers who died due to other issues and unconfirmed identites, you remove 78 women. Causes of death related to pregnancy are due to things like infections (several abortion related are listed making me think Ina scours a certain pro-life site), hemorrhage (yep, a few here are also from a pro-life site), amniotic fluid embolism, and blood pressure issues (HELLP, toxemia, eclampsia, pre-e). These make up 61% of the mothers on the quilt,
Ina claims the maternal mortality rate is 1.5 to 3 times higher than is reported. Her quilt is proof of why she thinks this. If you add in women who die of any cause within 1 year, women who die that ever had a c-section, and women who are diagnosed with an illness either during pregnacy or within 1 year postpartum the numbers are going to be higher. However, this is an incredibly dishonest way to try to manipulate numbers and people's trust. Now that I'm thinking about it, isn't this how natural birth advocates try to say cesarean babies die three times as often as vaginally birthed babies?? It's quite interesting how Ina and her followers love to manipulate data to claim that doctors and hospitals are so evil!
ETA: I found that I missed a woman. Make that 27 women with unconfirmed identities!
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