In the Eyes of a Sibling

My daughter, age 11, chose to write about her sister for a Language Arts assignment. I just wanted to share.

                 By Mxxxxxxx Cxxxxxx

              The Little Angel                                                                                                                                                                 Little did I know that day was going to be the first and the last time I saw her. The day was June 5th, 2008. At the time I was only two all my siblings were there, Cxxx, Pxxxx, Exxxxx, and Jxxx. It was early in the morning suddenly my mom went into labor with her second home birth.                                                                        

 

   I was pushed out of the room and left puzzled while I heard my mom scream. Fourteen hours later a baby cried, “ It’s a healthy baby girl “, said brenda the midwife. We all got to hold her I was majorly excited about being a big sister. My mom went to sleep and we all played with mary the new baby. When I got to hold her I thought she smelled a little like baby powder. My dad thought mary went to sleep, but she wasn’t breathing he woke up my mom in a flash and they left for the hospital. I was honestly a little frightened, Mary was pronounced dead at the hospital and my parents held her for four hours crying no more like breaking down. They were forced to hand mary over, so they came home my older brother josh asked were the new baby was and they told us everything. I was very sad, We went to the funeral my mom bambi said “ we walked in mary was in a tiny casket we should have been burying her in a bassinet”. I saw her in her little white dress she was so adorable, I gave her a kiss and she was cold like ice.

In the end MaryBeth Chapman was taken from us as soon as she was given to us. She will always be our little angel.  

Don't Beat Yourselves Up!

          Yesterday we had another birthday in our home. My third child turned 13! I have three teenagers in my house. Holy cow! This led me to thinking about the early days of parenting versus the teen years. Does it really matter how they came into the world? Did sleeping arrangements or feeding methods affect anything?? Was it worth the stress now that they're older? Let's play a fun game called Match The Kid!

       A.   This child was the 21.5 hour labor where I received an epidural 4 hours before birth. We also had pitocin. Said child slept with us, was breastfed for 16 months, but also had formula.

       B.   Next child was a 12 hour completely natural labor and birth. Child was breastfed for three months and then put on formula. Baby slept with us most of the time.

        C.  Last child was a 6 hour completely natural labor and birth. This one was breastfed for 18 months, but given formula on occasion. Baby also slept with us.

          Now that you know those little tidbits, I'll tell you about each child.

        1.  This child is very sweet, loves their siblings, gets straight A's, listens 99% of the time. Has only ever had one health problem. Child is very respectful and helpful.

        2.  Next child can be moody, but is generally an angel. Get's B's. Is helpful towards older adults and seniors. No health issues, healthy as can be. Respectful when not moody.

         3. Next child can also be moody, but an angel as well 99% of the time. Gets straight A's. No health problems. Very helpful and respectful, also when not moody.


So, going with what mothers are told and fed about birth and trivial parenting decisions, I'm here to say it doesn't matter. Our kids will become who they become due to not only their personalities, but in how we actually raise them. What are you TEACHING them? How do you TREAT them?? That is where it all lies. If your child feels loved, accepted, and supported you're going to have an awesome kid! If you put your child down, don't show love, or treat them horribly you are going to be in for a huge rude awakening.

All of our kids are going to go through stages where they test the waters and, I believe, this also plays a part in who they turn into. Your reaction and behavior will determine the severity of these tests. We don't have to be doormats, but we also can't be doorstops. Sometimes we have to seriously lay down the law regardless, but many of the things kids do aren't really worth getting into it with them over. Have you ever heard the term "Pick your battles"? In child-rearing, this is vital.

Next time you berate yourself for not doing what the sanctimommies tell you that you should do, walk into a high school and try to pick out the children who were birthed or fed certain ways. I promise, you won't be able to tell!

Meet Catherine

Back when I lived near a local cemetery, I would just meander through the headstones, sometimes snapping photos of ones that catch my eye. This one, it caught my eye. Can you see why?? If you look at it, it says she is buried with her son, but no dates for him. Having a fascination for not only cemeteries, but geneology, I decided to look into this.

Catherine was born on May 5th 1913 in Pennsylvania. She had a husband named Michael, who was born on August 21st/23rd 1904/5 in Ohio. On September 21st 1932, they welcomed their first child, a little girl named Deloris. On January 24th, 1934, they welcomed their second daughter, Rose. Catherine was born on May 19, 1935. Their daughter Irene was born in in 1936.

Sometime in the fall, Catherine would of gotten pregnant with her son, Michael JR. I'm sure she was anticipating a normal delivery with him and was likely looking forward to the possibility of this being their first son. Unfortunately, this was not going to have the happy ending that was anticipated.

On May 27th 1941, due to an obstructed labor, a craniotomy was performed on Michael, who was hydrocephalic. I do NOT recommend googling this operation as it's fairly barbaric. Michael either had a birth defect or an infection or was already gone. Either way, they had to do this in order to remove the baby as it was "less risky" to the mother to do this. They had to do an x-ray to get a visual and then put Catherine through this.

Sadly, Catherine developed puerperal infection due to the procedure she underwent. Just ten days later at 2:08pm on June 6th, 1941, Catherine passed away due to the infection, leaving behind her husband and four daughters.

The importance of a wedding

When a couple is planning a wedding, most of the time, the bride is in control of everything. Some couples just slip quietly to a justice of the peace, some elope, some have small intimate gatherings, and others have massive celebrations. It all varies amongst couples.

For us, it was something small as an actual wedding didn't mean much to us. For some women, they have to plan it for an extended time. All of their focus is spent on this one day. The wedding and reception have to go off without a hitch. Couples will go so far as to hire a planner who can make all their wishes come true.

What types of things are important and why?? I asked this question on my facebook to see what answers I would get. Two friends said the photographer was important because they take the pictures. Ok, got me there. Pictures are always important no matter the occassion! This is why my phone uploads to facebook. One friend said the vows because these are the promises you make for life. Ok, agreed there. One friend said the attitudes by bride and groom are important. Agreed!

Now, what about things that really don't matter? Does it matter if the groom can ride in on a stallion? What if the tiara isn't the right pattern? What if the train isn't long enough? What if the wedding cake isn't colorful enough? Yeah, these are all things that can devastate a bride. I'm sure we've all seen or dealt with brides that make you say, "WTF?".

If women spend all this time focused on the wedding, how much time is spent preparing for the actual marriage? Is the wedding the most important part of the marriage or is it just the beginning?


Let's switch out wedding for birth and see how they compare.
Minister/Birth attendant
Premarital counseling/childbirth education
Venue/birthplace
Bridal party/support people
Wedding photographer/birth photographer-videographer
Wedding attire/birth attire
Honeymoon/babymoon
Food and cake/food and drink
Gifts/gifts
Registry/registry
Message boards/message boards
magazines/magazines
Bridezilla/Preggozilla

So, how many weddings, that didn't go according to plan, completely destroy the bond between husband and wife? If you say none, why is it that women buy that birth experiences ruin the bond between mother and child? There really is nothing different between the day you give birth than the day you get married. Just something to think about!

Just a warning: when you know a bridezilla, steer clear when she gets pregnant! If the mom is a preggozilla who isn't married, stay away from her while she plans her wedding! Actually, I would steer clear of her all the time!

The importance of a wedding

When a couple is planning a wedding, most of the time, the bride is in control of everything. Some couples just slip quietly to a justice of the peace, some elope, some have small intimate gatherings, and others have massive celebrations. It all varies amongst couples.

For us, it was something small as an actual wedding didn't mean much to us. For some women, they have to plan it for an extended time. All of their focus is spent on this one day. The wedding and reception have to go off without a hitch. Couples will go so far as to hire a planner who can make all their wishes come true.

What types of things are important and why?? I asked this question on my facebook to see what answers I would get. Two friends said the photographer was important because they take the pictures. Ok, got me there. Pictures are always important no matter the occassion! This is why my phone uploads to facebook. One friend said the vows because these are the promises you make for life. Ok, agreed there. One friend said the attitudes by bride and groom are important. Agreed!

Now, what about things that really don't matter? Does it matter if the groom can ride in on a stallion? What if the tiara isn't the right pattern? What if the train isn't long enough? What if the wedding cake isn't colorful enough? Yeah, these are all things that can devastate a bride. I'm sure we've all seen or dealt with brides that make you say, "WTF?".

If women spend all this time focused on the wedding, how much time is spent preparing for the actual marriage? Is the wedding the most important part of the marriage or is it just the beginning?


Let's switch out wedding for birth and see how they compare.
Minister/Birth attendant
Premarital counseling/childbirth education
Venue/birthplace
Bridal party/support people
Wedding photographer/birth photographer-videographer
Wedding attire/birth attire
Honeymoon/babymoon
Food and cake/food and drink
Gifts/gifts
Registry/registry
Message boards/message boards
magazines/magazines
Bridezilla/Preggozilla

So, how many weddings, that didn't go according to plan, completely destroy the bond between husband and wife? If you say none, why is it that women buy that birth experiences ruin the bond between mother and child? There really is nothing different between the day you give birth than the day you get married. Just something to think about!

Just a warning: when you know a bridezilla, steer clear when she gets pregnant! If the mom is a preggozilla who isn't married, stay away from her while she plans her wedding! Actually, I would steer clear of her all the time!