After my miscarriage, the thought of losing another baby was horrifying. My innocence was gone and I feared that I would just miscarry again. After a year, I was finally ready to try again and got pregnant on the first try (in case you hadn't noticed, I'm pretty fertile).
My due date was the day after christmas. Pregnancy went perfectly.
Knowing myself, I knew I would have my baby before christmas, but was worried that I would be in a hospital instead of at home with my family. I tried like hell to get my doctor to induce because it would be convenient for us both. He found my argument rather persuasive, but still declined! I did talk him into sweeping membranes as I had begun having nightly contractions around 36 weeks (this was typical for me). We did that on a monday morning, just 6 days before christmas. This simple procedure sent me into early labor. I was thrilled to finally start laboring and looking forward to my natural birth.
That evening, I went to the hospital to get checked as I was contracting every 3 minutes. I was only 1.5cm. So, we were sent home. We had my inlaws take the kids earlier and it was late so we hit Wal-mart. I had to stop and concentrate on my breathing regularly. It was fixing to be a long night. However, my labor would come to a halt, just long enough for me to sleep.
I woke up in the morning and within about an hour of being up, labor began again. I was incredibly thankful for the good night's sleep. I was having more show, but thought "this is probably nothing". That was around 10/11am. By 2pm, I was still contracting and they were getting more painful. One of my friends from church stopped over and as soon as she saw me, told me I need to get rolling to the hospital because this was it. I was like "Eh, I want to make sure". I knew how long my previous labor was and how it went, so I really wanted to be sure. Then, I got to where I couldn't stand. It was labor alright!
We arrived at the hospital around 3pm. As I tried going from wheelchair to bed, I had a contraction, so I got on hands and knees right there on the floor. The nurses picked me up and had me get in bed where they helped me get in a gown. I knew then, well ASSumed, that this meant no natural birth. I called my mother who reassured me that it was ok to get an epidural, I didn't have to play superwoman. So, I requested an epidural. Good choice! When I had arrived, I was 4cm and contracting every two minutes. My dad arrived and sat with us. I don't recall exactly why the doctor checked me when he did, but my dad was told to step out so I could push.
Due to the tear I had with my previous baby, I did ask the doctor for an episiotomy and he agreed to do that for me. At 4:56pm, after about 15 minutes of pushing, my 7.5lbs baby boy came into the world. I was ecstatic! Adding to the christmas element of his birthday, he was born with pointy little elf ears that left everyone chuckling.
Friday, December 16, 2011
My Birth Experiences- Child #4
After my miscarriage, the thought of losing another baby was horrifying. My innocence was gone and I feared that I would just miscarry again. After a year, I was finally ready to try again and got pregnant on the first try (in case you hadn't noticed, I'm pretty fertile).
My due date was the day after christmas. Pregnancy went perfectly.
Knowing myself, I knew I would have my baby before christmas, but was worried that I would be in a hospital instead of at home with my family. I tried like hell to get my doctor to induce because it would be convenient for us both. He found my argument rather persuasive, but still declined! I did talk him into sweeping membranes as I had begun having nightly contractions around 36 weeks (this was typical for me). We did that on a monday morning, just 6 days before christmas. This simple procedure sent me into early labor. I was thrilled to finally start laboring and looking forward to my natural birth.
That evening, I went to the hospital to get checked as I was contracting every 3 minutes. I was only 1.5cm. So, we were sent home. We had my inlaws take the kids earlier and it was late so we hit Wal-mart. I had to stop and concentrate on my breathing regularly. It was fixing to be a long night. However, my labor would come to a halt, just long enough for me to sleep.
I woke up in the morning and within about an hour of being up, labor began again. I was incredibly thankful for the good night's sleep. I was having more show, but thought "this is probably nothing". That was around 10/11am. By 2pm, I was still contracting and they were getting more painful. One of my friends from church stopped over and as soon as she saw me, told me I need to get rolling to the hospital because this was it. I was like "Eh, I want to make sure". I knew how long my previous labor was and how it went, so I really wanted to be sure. Then, I got to where I couldn't stand. It was labor alright!
We arrived at the hospital around 3pm. As I tried going from wheelchair to bed, I had a contraction, so I got on hands and knees right there on the floor. The nurses picked me up and had me get in bed where they helped me get in a gown. I knew then, well ASSumed, that this meant no natural birth. I called my mother who reassured me that it was ok to get an epidural, I didn't have to play superwoman. So, I requested an epidural. Good choice! When I had arrived, I was 4cm and contracting every two minutes. My dad arrived and sat with us. I don't recall exactly why the doctor checked me when he did, but my dad was told to step out so I could push.
Due to the tear I had with my previous baby, I did ask the doctor for an episiotomy and he agreed to do that for me. At 4:56pm, after about 15 minutes of pushing, my 7.5lbs baby boy came into the world. I was ecstatic! Adding to the christmas element of his birthday, he was born with pointy little elf ears that left everyone chuckling.
My due date was the day after christmas. Pregnancy went perfectly.
Knowing myself, I knew I would have my baby before christmas, but was worried that I would be in a hospital instead of at home with my family. I tried like hell to get my doctor to induce because it would be convenient for us both. He found my argument rather persuasive, but still declined! I did talk him into sweeping membranes as I had begun having nightly contractions around 36 weeks (this was typical for me). We did that on a monday morning, just 6 days before christmas. This simple procedure sent me into early labor. I was thrilled to finally start laboring and looking forward to my natural birth.
That evening, I went to the hospital to get checked as I was contracting every 3 minutes. I was only 1.5cm. So, we were sent home. We had my inlaws take the kids earlier and it was late so we hit Wal-mart. I had to stop and concentrate on my breathing regularly. It was fixing to be a long night. However, my labor would come to a halt, just long enough for me to sleep.
I woke up in the morning and within about an hour of being up, labor began again. I was incredibly thankful for the good night's sleep. I was having more show, but thought "this is probably nothing". That was around 10/11am. By 2pm, I was still contracting and they were getting more painful. One of my friends from church stopped over and as soon as she saw me, told me I need to get rolling to the hospital because this was it. I was like "Eh, I want to make sure". I knew how long my previous labor was and how it went, so I really wanted to be sure. Then, I got to where I couldn't stand. It was labor alright!
We arrived at the hospital around 3pm. As I tried going from wheelchair to bed, I had a contraction, so I got on hands and knees right there on the floor. The nurses picked me up and had me get in bed where they helped me get in a gown. I knew then, well ASSumed, that this meant no natural birth. I called my mother who reassured me that it was ok to get an epidural, I didn't have to play superwoman. So, I requested an epidural. Good choice! When I had arrived, I was 4cm and contracting every two minutes. My dad arrived and sat with us. I don't recall exactly why the doctor checked me when he did, but my dad was told to step out so I could push.
Due to the tear I had with my previous baby, I did ask the doctor for an episiotomy and he agreed to do that for me. At 4:56pm, after about 15 minutes of pushing, my 7.5lbs baby boy came into the world. I was ecstatic! Adding to the christmas element of his birthday, he was born with pointy little elf ears that left everyone chuckling.
Friday, December 9, 2011
My Birth Stories- Miscarriage #2
In February 03, I found out I was pregnant. My hubby was over the moon, but I had reservations. I feel badly saying that, but it's how I felt. Slowly, I began getting excited. I had some friends who thought "4 kids is too many, just abort". Yeah, I didn't even entertain that thought!
At 6 weeks, I had cramping so a doctor at the air force hospital did an ultrasound . A little fish with a flicker. Awesome! She told me she couldn't guaruntee I wouldn't miscarry. I thought, there's a heartbeat, I'm good.
At 11weeks, I went in for a regular prenatal appointment. They were suppose to do the heartbeat and everything. The nurse puts the doppler to my belly and nothing. In my head, I'm thinking she doesn't know what she's doing. The doctor goes to try and he gets nothing as well. At the moment, I just began crying. I was by myself in this room. The doctor grabbed a portable ultrasound machine and put the wand to my belly. There it was, a tiny little person with arms and legs. Unfortunately, the little person no longer had a heartbeat. I ask for a picture. He let me know I could get myself together and meet him in his office. My husband was sitting in his office and the doctor let me know he was going to schedule a D&C. Having the pro-life stance I did, I equated D&C's with people who were volunteering to abort their babies. I didn't want to abort my baby.
Two later, I returned to confirm the baby's death. No growth, no heartbeat, it was over. The doctor let me know that, had I been an earlier gestational age, he could just induce the miscarriage, but I was too far along and it was risky. Being the difficult person I am, I told him I wanted to do that because I wanted to give birth to my baby. He called in a script for Cytotec, had me go down to the pharmacy to get it, and bring it back up to him. Of course, on my way down the elevator, it stopped as a nurse wheeled a brand new mother and baby down to an eager spouse. Talk about a knife in my heart.
About 2:30, the cytotec is inserted and I'm sent home. A little time passes and I start feeling crampy. I'm starting to bleed some. Of course, I had to drive to go get my husband from the base and by the time I get there, the pain is horrible, so he drives home. I continue "laboring" in our bathroom and bedroom. I think it was about 7/7:30pm when I felt the pop of the sac. Talk about an odd sensation. Two hours later, I had the baby. Perfectly formed with a mouth, tongue, arms, legs, hands, feet. A tiny dead baby. The doctor had given me a specimen cup to place the baby in. The deal was, I wanted testing to find out what the baby was gender wise and why it died. The next morning, I began passing chunks of placenta. That's not usually a good thing. I began losing blood. So, when I went in to the doctor he admitted me. One nurse tried taking my blood pressure and was like "No, this isn't right". HE tries again and runs into the hall. Several nurses try and my blood pressure is not changing. One nurse told me I should be dead with a blood pressure that low. I was taken to the ICU to await my emergency d&c as they were having trouble finding blood for me. I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up to people trying to wake me up after the surgery. I couldn't come out of the anesthesia. When I did finally come out of it, my husband and friend were sitting in my room.
Testing on the baby was inconclusive and they never even tested for gender. I tried finding out what happened to the baby, but those efforts failed. Does it haunt me? Sure does. But I got to hold and see my baby. I needed that. I just hope that these days, there are better resources for women who lose babies than there were for me down there.
At 6 weeks, I had cramping so a doctor at the air force hospital did an ultrasound . A little fish with a flicker. Awesome! She told me she couldn't guaruntee I wouldn't miscarry. I thought, there's a heartbeat, I'm good.
At 11weeks, I went in for a regular prenatal appointment. They were suppose to do the heartbeat and everything. The nurse puts the doppler to my belly and nothing. In my head, I'm thinking she doesn't know what she's doing. The doctor goes to try and he gets nothing as well. At the moment, I just began crying. I was by myself in this room. The doctor grabbed a portable ultrasound machine and put the wand to my belly. There it was, a tiny little person with arms and legs. Unfortunately, the little person no longer had a heartbeat. I ask for a picture. He let me know I could get myself together and meet him in his office. My husband was sitting in his office and the doctor let me know he was going to schedule a D&C. Having the pro-life stance I did, I equated D&C's with people who were volunteering to abort their babies. I didn't want to abort my baby.
Two later, I returned to confirm the baby's death. No growth, no heartbeat, it was over. The doctor let me know that, had I been an earlier gestational age, he could just induce the miscarriage, but I was too far along and it was risky. Being the difficult person I am, I told him I wanted to do that because I wanted to give birth to my baby. He called in a script for Cytotec, had me go down to the pharmacy to get it, and bring it back up to him. Of course, on my way down the elevator, it stopped as a nurse wheeled a brand new mother and baby down to an eager spouse. Talk about a knife in my heart.
About 2:30, the cytotec is inserted and I'm sent home. A little time passes and I start feeling crampy. I'm starting to bleed some. Of course, I had to drive to go get my husband from the base and by the time I get there, the pain is horrible, so he drives home. I continue "laboring" in our bathroom and bedroom. I think it was about 7/7:30pm when I felt the pop of the sac. Talk about an odd sensation. Two hours later, I had the baby. Perfectly formed with a mouth, tongue, arms, legs, hands, feet. A tiny dead baby. The doctor had given me a specimen cup to place the baby in. The deal was, I wanted testing to find out what the baby was gender wise and why it died. The next morning, I began passing chunks of placenta. That's not usually a good thing. I began losing blood. So, when I went in to the doctor he admitted me. One nurse tried taking my blood pressure and was like "No, this isn't right". HE tries again and runs into the hall. Several nurses try and my blood pressure is not changing. One nurse told me I should be dead with a blood pressure that low. I was taken to the ICU to await my emergency d&c as they were having trouble finding blood for me. I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up to people trying to wake me up after the surgery. I couldn't come out of the anesthesia. When I did finally come out of it, my husband and friend were sitting in my room.
Testing on the baby was inconclusive and they never even tested for gender. I tried finding out what happened to the baby, but those efforts failed. Does it haunt me? Sure does. But I got to hold and see my baby. I needed that. I just hope that these days, there are better resources for women who lose babies than there were for me down there.
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