I'm going to step out here and place myself under fire.
My heart breaks for every parent out there that goes through the loss of a child. There is just nothing that compares. This is an experience that I can't just get over nor will I ever heal from it nor will I find peace or any of that. I do what I can to help others like me and I speak out against unsafe homebirth practices/practitioners.
Sometimes my heart aches when I read stories of loss, but I have nothing but contempt and disdain for the parents. Why? Because they continue on promoting the very practice that killed their child. If you are a part of the movement and encouraging other women to take the risks you chose to take, you do not deserve sympathy. I know when Dr Amy blamed a mother a few months ago, she wasn't doing it to be mean. She is doing it because she has seen how many of these people have lost children and she's baffled by those who don't seem to really care.
You have four types of homebirth loss moms:
1. Mom is in an echo chamber during conception and/or pregnancy. Baby dies preventable death and mom turns from the movement. These are the moms who really thought they were doing best for their baby and are pissed!
2. Mom spends conception and/or pregnancy in an echo chamber. Baby dies preventable death and mom decides to not do it again, but is still very supportive. These are usually the ones who are sad, but think it would of happened regardless.
3. Mom is deeply involved with the movement, baby dies preventable death. Mom doesn't care and continues on.
4. Baby has an actual defect that would of claimed it's life regardless. This one is rare!
In my book, if your baby dies and you are so deeply rooted that you don't change at all, you don't deserve sympathy. You are no more than a child killer. You took your baby's life and are fine with that. I can think of one mother that Amy went after with a vengence. As an angel mom, I felt sad for her loss, but I'm also angered that she just didn't care and continued on her path. I know I'm going to piss people off here. Some of these mothers, they do not deserve sympathy at all. These babies are no treated different by their parents than the ones thrown into the trash. It's disgusting. If we wonder how a mother can throw her infant in the garbage or a dumpster, we need look no further than the leaders who have buried their children.
On another note, I'm using a different commenting system, so it should be easier to comment on here.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
My sympathy has limits
I'm going to step out here and place myself under fire.
My heart breaks for every parent out there that goes through the loss of a child. There is just nothing that compares. This is an experience that I can't just get over nor will I ever heal from it nor will I find peace or any of that. I do what I can to help others like me and I speak out against unsafe homebirth practices/practitioners.
Sometimes my heart aches when I read stories of loss, but I have nothing but contempt and disdain for the parents. Why? Because they continue on promoting the very practice that killed their child. If you are a part of the movement and encouraging other women to take the risks you chose to take, you do not deserve sympathy. I know when Dr Amy blamed a mother a few months ago, she wasn't doing it to be mean. She is doing it because she has seen how many of these people have lost children and she's baffled by those who don't seem to really care.
You have four types of homebirth loss moms:
1. Mom is in an echo chamber during conception and/or pregnancy. Baby dies preventable death and mom turns from the movement. These are the moms who really thought they were doing best for their baby and are pissed!
2. Mom spends conception and/or pregnancy in an echo chamber. Baby dies preventable death and mom decides to not do it again, but is still very supportive. These are usually the ones who are sad, but think it would of happened regardless.
3. Mom is deeply involved with the movement, baby dies preventable death. Mom doesn't care and continues on.
4. Baby has an actual defect that would of claimed it's life regardless. This one is rare!
In my book, if your baby dies and you are so deeply rooted that you don't change at all, you don't deserve sympathy. You are no more than a child killer. You took your baby's life and are fine with that. I can think of one mother that Amy went after with a vengence. As an angel mom, I felt sad for her loss, but I'm also angered that she just didn't care and continued on her path. I know I'm going to piss people off here. Some of these mothers, they do not deserve sympathy at all. These babies are no treated different by their parents than the ones thrown into the trash. It's disgusting. If we wonder how a mother can throw her infant in the garbage or a dumpster, we need look no further than the leaders who have buried their children.
On another note, I'm using a different commenting system, so it should be easier to comment on here.
My heart breaks for every parent out there that goes through the loss of a child. There is just nothing that compares. This is an experience that I can't just get over nor will I ever heal from it nor will I find peace or any of that. I do what I can to help others like me and I speak out against unsafe homebirth practices/practitioners.
Sometimes my heart aches when I read stories of loss, but I have nothing but contempt and disdain for the parents. Why? Because they continue on promoting the very practice that killed their child. If you are a part of the movement and encouraging other women to take the risks you chose to take, you do not deserve sympathy. I know when Dr Amy blamed a mother a few months ago, she wasn't doing it to be mean. She is doing it because she has seen how many of these people have lost children and she's baffled by those who don't seem to really care.
You have four types of homebirth loss moms:
1. Mom is in an echo chamber during conception and/or pregnancy. Baby dies preventable death and mom turns from the movement. These are the moms who really thought they were doing best for their baby and are pissed!
2. Mom spends conception and/or pregnancy in an echo chamber. Baby dies preventable death and mom decides to not do it again, but is still very supportive. These are usually the ones who are sad, but think it would of happened regardless.
3. Mom is deeply involved with the movement, baby dies preventable death. Mom doesn't care and continues on.
4. Baby has an actual defect that would of claimed it's life regardless. This one is rare!
In my book, if your baby dies and you are so deeply rooted that you don't change at all, you don't deserve sympathy. You are no more than a child killer. You took your baby's life and are fine with that. I can think of one mother that Amy went after with a vengence. As an angel mom, I felt sad for her loss, but I'm also angered that she just didn't care and continued on her path. I know I'm going to piss people off here. Some of these mothers, they do not deserve sympathy at all. These babies are no treated different by their parents than the ones thrown into the trash. It's disgusting. If we wonder how a mother can throw her infant in the garbage or a dumpster, we need look no further than the leaders who have buried their children.
On another note, I'm using a different commenting system, so it should be easier to comment on here.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Janet Fraser To the woman at the shops with the weeping babe
http://janetfraser.id.au/blog/2011/08/28/to-the-woman-at-the-shops-with-the-weeping-babe/
Janet has written here a nice little piece about how this woman letting her baby cry in her pram or stroller must of had a bad birth experience!
Dear Janet,
You do not know the woman perusing at the shops with her baby. You do not know the child. Only a mother knows their child and it's cues. This infant that you feel so badly for could just be a fussy baby who hates to be worn. Perhaps this child was just tired and when it's tired, it doesn't want messed with and gets even more pissed! You have no clue! To think that a birth created a fussy baby and a mom who let it fuss is beyond ignorant. Maybe she's stuck at home day in and day out with a fussy baby and was ready to go absolutely insane. Again, you have no clue!
You, you have no baby to place in a sling on your body because YOU chose a birth experience over your baby and your daughter died because of it. You have publicly claimed that her death wasn't as bad as your c-section, aka birthrape (once you post something online, it never goes away). You have chosen to not connect with your living children because YOU placed such a high importance on the birth that when it turned differently than how you wanted, you turned from your child. You care so much about a crying baby and your empty sling, please imagine what your living children feel knowing you don't care about them because of their mode of delivery. Talk about a broken woman! You denied your connection, nobody or anything else did it for you!
I know you are clueless, but there is a reason testing is done. To help prevent deaths. Unlike you, most of us are not ok with dead babies. I'm glad to see you know about all the testing mom had done. How do you know she was induced?? Can a natural birthing mom not let her child fuss for a few minutes because she knows the child is content? Do epidural or induction or c-section moms not hold crying babies??
Birth is not the "keenest experience of our lives". Holding our baby for the first time is. Labor and birth aren't anything awesome to most women. Why? Because we know it's not important. Some of us, including you, have learned this lesson the hard way because we got dead babies out of it. Seriously, who the hell really thinks every woman wants to have a drug free birth anywhere?? 1 out of 10 women, that's it.
I wish that through this pain you may birth yourself and find the woman in you who seeks only that which nurtures, and casts aside in future, that which does you harm.
(Like not having an unassisted birth as they do harm and then you have nothing to nurture)
I wish that your next birth will be eye opening, life changing and that the first hands to touch your babe will beyours. a doctors!
Janet has written here a nice little piece about how this woman letting her baby cry in her pram or stroller must of had a bad birth experience!
Dear Janet,
You do not know the woman perusing at the shops with her baby. You do not know the child. Only a mother knows their child and it's cues. This infant that you feel so badly for could just be a fussy baby who hates to be worn. Perhaps this child was just tired and when it's tired, it doesn't want messed with and gets even more pissed! You have no clue! To think that a birth created a fussy baby and a mom who let it fuss is beyond ignorant. Maybe she's stuck at home day in and day out with a fussy baby and was ready to go absolutely insane. Again, you have no clue!
You, you have no baby to place in a sling on your body because YOU chose a birth experience over your baby and your daughter died because of it. You have publicly claimed that her death wasn't as bad as your c-section, aka birthrape (once you post something online, it never goes away). You have chosen to not connect with your living children because YOU placed such a high importance on the birth that when it turned differently than how you wanted, you turned from your child. You care so much about a crying baby and your empty sling, please imagine what your living children feel knowing you don't care about them because of their mode of delivery. Talk about a broken woman! You denied your connection, nobody or anything else did it for you!
I know you are clueless, but there is a reason testing is done. To help prevent deaths. Unlike you, most of us are not ok with dead babies. I'm glad to see you know about all the testing mom had done. How do you know she was induced?? Can a natural birthing mom not let her child fuss for a few minutes because she knows the child is content? Do epidural or induction or c-section moms not hold crying babies??
Birth is not the "keenest experience of our lives". Holding our baby for the first time is. Labor and birth aren't anything awesome to most women. Why? Because we know it's not important. Some of us, including you, have learned this lesson the hard way because we got dead babies out of it. Seriously, who the hell really thinks every woman wants to have a drug free birth anywhere?? 1 out of 10 women, that's it.
I wish that through this pain you may birth yourself and find the woman in you who seeks only that which nurtures, and casts aside in future, that which does you harm.
(Like not having an unassisted birth as they do harm and then you have nothing to nurture)
I wish that your next birth will be eye opening, life changing and that the first hands to touch your babe will be
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