Around the developed nations millions of women get pregnant. A good part of those women envision watching their belly swell with child, the anticipation of that first contraction or their water breaking, their partner holding their hand or rubbing their back as they labor, then finally being able to push their child into the world, have their child placed upon their belly, and bringing that squirming bundle up to their breast to nurse. Sadly, this fantasy of childbirth seems to be harming women more than helping them. Nobody ever pictures themselves ending up with a c-section.
The thoughts and emotions that these women convey are troublesome. They feel like failures because, after all, all women can give birth because that is how our bodies are designed. We are meant to give birth, aren't we? They are bombarded by "well-meaning" women telling them that Doctors perform these surgeries so they can either get home to dinner, make their tee time, or just want the extra money. They are told that various reasons for cesareans are bogus and made up, never mind that the women saying this aren't doctors and haven't been to medical school. Women feel robbed of the first hours. I wonder why it is that the only bonding period that seems important are the first hours? Your child is your child forever. You have the rest of your life to bond. My oldest was rushed to the NICU as soon as he was born and stayed there for the first week. I bonded with him as well as I did with my other children. I'm not sad that I missed those first hours because I have had many hours with him over the last 11 1/2 years. You CAN initiate breastfeeding after those first hours, contrary to what women are told. Apparently if your child isn't breastfed within a certain time span your breastfeeding "relationship" is shot to hell.
What can we do to help?? Stop romanticising natural childbirth. Stop telling women that cesareans are "unneccesarians" and they can vaginally birth no matter what. Stop telling women not to listen to medical professionals. Yes, it is important to research!! It is also important to find a care provider that you are a team with. You really aren't as educated as a DR and I imagine it has to be frustrating to meet a women who insists she knows better than you do! Stop arming women with completely biased information. Do not find women who have had a cesarean and tell them about why it was not needed and that it could of been avoided. Truth of the matter is you aren't her doctor nor do you have access to her medical records, it is only your OPINION (much different than FACT). So, how do you know?? The google research will only tell you what you want it to tell you. If a woman has a medical complication, it is important to get that baby out instead of leaving it in there! Blood pressure problems can kill both mom and baby. Is a "natural birth" that important when both lives hang in the balance?? If a heart rate drops in labor, the baby needs to get out. Cord Accidents make up a good portion of stillbirths. They say that cord accident is rare, but I can tell you at least half of the stillbirth moms I have met, it was due to cord accidents. Labor is prime time to have something happen. Mothers arrive in active labor only to learn their baby's heart has stopped due to some type of cord accident. Yes, the baby NEEDS to be born if the baby's heart has decels. Luckily, sometimes something like position change can help take the pressure off the cord.
I really think if we keep our sight set on that baby and stop holding birth upon a pedestool, the PPD rates will drop. If you are pregnant, learn about cesareans. Don't tell yourself that you won't need it. Plan for the chance of having the surgery. Be open to anything that may happen. Remember that your dr IS doing their very best for you and your baby. If you had a c-section, talk to others who have been through it. Look at it as another option. Try to find something positive to say. Even when something is sad or doesn't go away, there is something positive to be learned. Losing my daughter was horrible. Going through that has allowed me to reach out to others, so I have been able to find the positive in something negative. Lets be open to doing anything for our child!
Birth is about getting them here, not how we get them out!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
The Natural Birth Movement harmful?
Around the developed nations millions of women get pregnant. A good part of those women envision watching their belly swell with child, the anticipation of that first contraction or their water breaking, their partner holding their hand or rubbing their back as they labor, then finally being able to push their child into the world, have their child placed upon their belly, and bringing that squirming bundle up to their breast to nurse. Sadly, this fantasy of childbirth seems to be harming women more than helping them. Nobody ever pictures themselves ending up with a c-section.
The thoughts and emotions that these women convey are troublesome. They feel like failures because, after all, all women can give birth because that is how our bodies are designed. We are meant to give birth, aren't we? They are bombarded by "well-meaning" women telling them that Doctors perform these surgeries so they can either get home to dinner, make their tee time, or just want the extra money. They are told that various reasons for cesareans are bogus and made up, never mind that the women saying this aren't doctors and haven't been to medical school. Women feel robbed of the first hours. I wonder why it is that the only bonding period that seems important are the first hours? Your child is your child forever. You have the rest of your life to bond. My oldest was rushed to the NICU as soon as he was born and stayed there for the first week. I bonded with him as well as I did with my other children. I'm not sad that I missed those first hours because I have had many hours with him over the last 11 1/2 years. You CAN initiate breastfeeding after those first hours, contrary to what women are told. Apparently if your child isn't breastfed within a certain time span your breastfeeding "relationship" is shot to hell.
What can we do to help?? Stop romanticising natural childbirth. Stop telling women that cesareans are "unneccesarians" and they can vaginally birth no matter what. Stop telling women not to listen to medical professionals. Yes, it is important to research!! It is also important to find a care provider that you are a team with. You really aren't as educated as a DR and I imagine it has to be frustrating to meet a women who insists she knows better than you do! Stop arming women with completely biased information. Do not find women who have had a cesarean and tell them about why it was not needed and that it could of been avoided. Truth of the matter is you aren't her doctor nor do you have access to her medical records, it is only your OPINION (much different than FACT). So, how do you know?? The google research will only tell you what you want it to tell you. If a woman has a medical complication, it is important to get that baby out instead of leaving it in there! Blood pressure problems can kill both mom and baby. Is a "natural birth" that important when both lives hang in the balance?? If a heart rate drops in labor, the baby needs to get out. Cord Accidents make up a good portion of stillbirths. They say that cord accident is rare, but I can tell you at least half of the stillbirth moms I have met, it was due to cord accidents. Labor is prime time to have something happen. Mothers arrive in active labor only to learn their baby's heart has stopped due to some type of cord accident. Yes, the baby NEEDS to be born if the baby's heart has decels. Luckily, sometimes something like position change can help take the pressure off the cord.
I really think if we keep our sight set on that baby and stop holding birth upon a pedestool, the PPD rates will drop. If you are pregnant, learn about cesareans. Don't tell yourself that you won't need it. Plan for the chance of having the surgery. Be open to anything that may happen. Remember that your dr IS doing their very best for you and your baby. If you had a c-section, talk to others who have been through it. Look at it as another option. Try to find something positive to say. Even when something is sad or doesn't go away, there is something positive to be learned. Losing my daughter was horrible. Going through that has allowed me to reach out to others, so I have been able to find the positive in something negative. Lets be open to doing anything for our child!
Birth is about getting them here, not how we get them out!
The thoughts and emotions that these women convey are troublesome. They feel like failures because, after all, all women can give birth because that is how our bodies are designed. We are meant to give birth, aren't we? They are bombarded by "well-meaning" women telling them that Doctors perform these surgeries so they can either get home to dinner, make their tee time, or just want the extra money. They are told that various reasons for cesareans are bogus and made up, never mind that the women saying this aren't doctors and haven't been to medical school. Women feel robbed of the first hours. I wonder why it is that the only bonding period that seems important are the first hours? Your child is your child forever. You have the rest of your life to bond. My oldest was rushed to the NICU as soon as he was born and stayed there for the first week. I bonded with him as well as I did with my other children. I'm not sad that I missed those first hours because I have had many hours with him over the last 11 1/2 years. You CAN initiate breastfeeding after those first hours, contrary to what women are told. Apparently if your child isn't breastfed within a certain time span your breastfeeding "relationship" is shot to hell.
What can we do to help?? Stop romanticising natural childbirth. Stop telling women that cesareans are "unneccesarians" and they can vaginally birth no matter what. Stop telling women not to listen to medical professionals. Yes, it is important to research!! It is also important to find a care provider that you are a team with. You really aren't as educated as a DR and I imagine it has to be frustrating to meet a women who insists she knows better than you do! Stop arming women with completely biased information. Do not find women who have had a cesarean and tell them about why it was not needed and that it could of been avoided. Truth of the matter is you aren't her doctor nor do you have access to her medical records, it is only your OPINION (much different than FACT). So, how do you know?? The google research will only tell you what you want it to tell you. If a woman has a medical complication, it is important to get that baby out instead of leaving it in there! Blood pressure problems can kill both mom and baby. Is a "natural birth" that important when both lives hang in the balance?? If a heart rate drops in labor, the baby needs to get out. Cord Accidents make up a good portion of stillbirths. They say that cord accident is rare, but I can tell you at least half of the stillbirth moms I have met, it was due to cord accidents. Labor is prime time to have something happen. Mothers arrive in active labor only to learn their baby's heart has stopped due to some type of cord accident. Yes, the baby NEEDS to be born if the baby's heart has decels. Luckily, sometimes something like position change can help take the pressure off the cord.
I really think if we keep our sight set on that baby and stop holding birth upon a pedestool, the PPD rates will drop. If you are pregnant, learn about cesareans. Don't tell yourself that you won't need it. Plan for the chance of having the surgery. Be open to anything that may happen. Remember that your dr IS doing their very best for you and your baby. If you had a c-section, talk to others who have been through it. Look at it as another option. Try to find something positive to say. Even when something is sad or doesn't go away, there is something positive to be learned. Losing my daughter was horrible. Going through that has allowed me to reach out to others, so I have been able to find the positive in something negative. Lets be open to doing anything for our child!
Birth is about getting them here, not how we get them out!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Circumcision
If you frequent any mommy boards, this subject always breaks out the claws of what we call intactivists. It's a penis, not the holy grail. Some people choose not to do it and others do. Those who do it have abused and mutilated their child. Recently we had the pleasure of seeing mothers who circumsize referred to as Pedophiles. Yes, a pedophile.A person who targets children sexually or has a fetish regarding children!
FGM is usually the removal of labia and the woman is sewn up so all that can get through is menstrual blood. The clitoris is often removed too. If you are acquainted with basic fetal genital development, you would know that the foreskin is equivalent to the clitoral hood. So, if we performed circ's that equal the damage done during FGM, we would have to remove the actual head of the penis and a good part of the shaft. Obviously, this is not what is happening. These two things are unequal.
What is interesting is these women speak of the child's sex life. The penis will be damaged, his penis won't work correctly, he will have erectile dysfunction, etc. It is said that the foreskin makes sex better for him. How do we know this?? The intactivist sites say it is so. Men are told that they are missing something that makes sex better instead of telling the man that if sex sucks, he needs to work on it! Way to pass the buck!
There are studies that say circumcision reduces the risk for STD's (including HIV), UTI's, and penile cancer. Yet, those studies done by the government are flawed horribly and not to be trusted (where is my eye rolling smilie?).
There are studies that say circumcision reduces the risk for STD's (including HIV), UTI's, and penile cancer. Yet, those studies done by the government are flawed horribly and not to be trusted (where is my eye rolling smilie?).
Circumcision
If you frequent any mommy boards, this subject always breaks out the claws of what we call intactivists. It's a penis, not the holy grail. Some people choose not to do it and others do. Those who do it have abused and mutilated their child. Recently we had the pleasure of seeing mothers who circumsize referred to as Pedophiles. Yes, a pedophile.A person who targets children sexually or has a fetish regarding children!
FGM is usually the removal of labia and the woman is sewn up so all that can get through is menstrual blood. The clitoris is often removed too. If you are acquainted with basic fetal genital development, you would know that the foreskin is equivalent to the clitoral hood. So, if we performed circ's that equal the damage done during FGM, we would have to remove the actual head of the penis and a good part of the shaft. Obviously, this is not what is happening. These two things are unequal.
What is interesting is these women speak of the child's sex life. The penis will be damaged, his penis won't work correctly, he will have erectile dysfunction, etc. It is said that the foreskin makes sex better for him. How do we know this?? The intactivist sites say it is so. Men are told that they are missing something that makes sex better instead of telling the man that if sex sucks, he needs to work on it! Way to pass the buck!
There are studies that say circumcision reduces the risk for STD's (including HIV), UTI's, and penile cancer. Yet, those studies done by the government are flawed horribly and not to be trusted (where is my eye rolling smilie?).
There are studies that say circumcision reduces the risk for STD's (including HIV), UTI's, and penile cancer. Yet, those studies done by the government are flawed horribly and not to be trusted (where is my eye rolling smilie?).
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The stigma of homebirth loss
Just two short years ago, I remember being one of those uber crunchies. Homebirth was tthe safest way to bring a child into this world. My midwife was well educated and had been delivering babies in this area for 20+ years. I was in wonderful hands. Until the life of my beloved daughter slipped through those hands. Now, I am wholeheartedly against homebirth. I make no qualms about it.
When Mary died, I convinced myself that something must of been wrong. I must of done something wrong. She had to of been sick. I had the support of everyone. Upon learning that the homebirth was why she had died, I spoke up and haven't shut up yet. I will never be silent. Homebirthers try to pick apart my story (which is why I no longer share) to say she died because of this or that. I have heard that she shouldn't of been born at home to begin with as she was 36 1/2 weeks. If you really want to get technical here, according to LMP, I would of been 37 1/2 weeks to 38 weeks. I have heard that it was due to midwife negligence, not because she was born at home. Um, if I had of been in a hospital, the midwife wouldn't of factored in. They cannot grasp that low risk women can deliver at risk infants. These supportive women become venomous creatures who strike out when you speak up. They insist that anything you say is misinformation. God forbid a woman be angry. I should be silenced because I may scare someone out of making this choice. If you lose your child and speak up, be prepared.
When Mary died, I convinced myself that something must of been wrong. I must of done something wrong. She had to of been sick. I had the support of everyone. Upon learning that the homebirth was why she had died, I spoke up and haven't shut up yet. I will never be silent. Homebirthers try to pick apart my story (which is why I no longer share) to say she died because of this or that. I have heard that she shouldn't of been born at home to begin with as she was 36 1/2 weeks. If you really want to get technical here, according to LMP, I would of been 37 1/2 weeks to 38 weeks. I have heard that it was due to midwife negligence, not because she was born at home. Um, if I had of been in a hospital, the midwife wouldn't of factored in. They cannot grasp that low risk women can deliver at risk infants. These supportive women become venomous creatures who strike out when you speak up. They insist that anything you say is misinformation. God forbid a woman be angry. I should be silenced because I may scare someone out of making this choice. If you lose your child and speak up, be prepared.
The stigma of homebirth loss
Just two short years ago, I remember being one of those uber crunchies. Homebirth was tthe safest way to bring a child into this world. My midwife was well educated and had been delivering babies in this area for 20+ years. I was in wonderful hands. Until the life of my beloved daughter slipped through those hands. Now, I am wholeheartedly against homebirth. I make no qualms about it.
When Mary died, I convinced myself that something must of been wrong. I must of done something wrong. She had to of been sick. I had the support of everyone. Upon learning that the homebirth was why she had died, I spoke up and haven't shut up yet. I will never be silent. Homebirthers try to pick apart my story (which is why I no longer share) to say she died because of this or that. I have heard that she shouldn't of been born at home to begin with as she was 36 1/2 weeks. If you really want to get technical here, according to LMP, I would of been 37 1/2 weeks to 38 weeks. I have heard that it was due to midwife negligence, not because she was born at home. Um, if I had of been in a hospital, the midwife wouldn't of factored in. They cannot grasp that low risk women can deliver at risk infants. These supportive women become venomous creatures who strike out when you speak up. They insist that anything you say is misinformation. God forbid a woman be angry. I should be silenced because I may scare someone out of making this choice. If you lose your child and speak up, be prepared.
When Mary died, I convinced myself that something must of been wrong. I must of done something wrong. She had to of been sick. I had the support of everyone. Upon learning that the homebirth was why she had died, I spoke up and haven't shut up yet. I will never be silent. Homebirthers try to pick apart my story (which is why I no longer share) to say she died because of this or that. I have heard that she shouldn't of been born at home to begin with as she was 36 1/2 weeks. If you really want to get technical here, according to LMP, I would of been 37 1/2 weeks to 38 weeks. I have heard that it was due to midwife negligence, not because she was born at home. Um, if I had of been in a hospital, the midwife wouldn't of factored in. They cannot grasp that low risk women can deliver at risk infants. These supportive women become venomous creatures who strike out when you speak up. They insist that anything you say is misinformation. God forbid a woman be angry. I should be silenced because I may scare someone out of making this choice. If you lose your child and speak up, be prepared.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Mighty Vagina
As I sit back and read various mommy message boards, I witness hordes of women clamoring over the virtues of vaginal birth. Only those who have pushed a baby out of their vagina have given birth. Dangerous vaginal birth is preferred over ceasarean birth. Breech baby??? You can do it. Big baby??? Your body won't grow a child you cannot birth! If the baby is in distress, you must get up and move around. Cord tightly around neck is not a problem either. Failure to progress is always about a mom not given the appropriate time allowance.
In the days before c-section was used, mothers and babies died. The almighty vagina will not prevent injury or death to your child. A c-section can. So, why must women push the limits and put their child in harms way? Vaginal birth does not make us any more of a woman or a mother. If you have carried your child and they came out of your body, you have given birth. Having a child that you love makes you a mother, not your almighty vagina.
In the days before c-section was used, mothers and babies died. The almighty vagina will not prevent injury or death to your child. A c-section can. So, why must women push the limits and put their child in harms way? Vaginal birth does not make us any more of a woman or a mother. If you have carried your child and they came out of your body, you have given birth. Having a child that you love makes you a mother, not your almighty vagina.
The Mighty Vagina
As I sit back and read various mommy message boards, I witness hordes of women clamoring over the virtues of vaginal birth. Only those who have pushed a baby out of their vagina have given birth. Dangerous vaginal birth is preferred over ceasarean birth. Breech baby??? You can do it. Big baby??? Your body won't grow a child you cannot birth! If the baby is in distress, you must get up and move around. Cord tightly around neck is not a problem either. Failure to progress is always about a mom not given the appropriate time allowance.
In the days before c-section was used, mothers and babies died. The almighty vagina will not prevent injury or death to your child. A c-section can. So, why must women push the limits and put their child in harms way? Vaginal birth does not make us any more of a woman or a mother. If you have carried your child and they came out of your body, you have given birth. Having a child that you love makes you a mother, not your almighty vagina.
In the days before c-section was used, mothers and babies died. The almighty vagina will not prevent injury or death to your child. A c-section can. So, why must women push the limits and put their child in harms way? Vaginal birth does not make us any more of a woman or a mother. If you have carried your child and they came out of your body, you have given birth. Having a child that you love makes you a mother, not your almighty vagina.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Who am I
I am a woman. I have been the wife to a wonderful man for over 11 years. I became a mother over 11 1/2 years ago and now am proud to have my seven children, one of whom is a beautiful angel in heaven. I use to be crunchy. Until my precious daughter died after a homebirth. I now am a strong anti-homebirth supporter. I also reach out to others who sadly suffer the loss of their infant. My life revolves around all of this. I think I'm a pretty awesome person, even when I'm being not so nice to the crazy crunchies.
Who am I
I am a woman. I have been the wife to a wonderful man for over 11 years. I became a mother over 11 1/2 years ago and now am proud to have my seven children, one of whom is a beautiful angel in heaven. I use to be crunchy. Until my precious daughter died after a homebirth. I now am a strong anti-homebirth supporter. I also reach out to others who sadly suffer the loss of their infant. My life revolves around all of this. I think I'm a pretty awesome person, even when I'm being not so nice to the crazy crunchies.
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