In my last post, I addressed some basic issues regarding pregnancy, birth in Africa as a whole. There are developed countries and developing countries, which means demographics are different leading to many discrepancies between countries in regards to maternal health. There are many facets of maternal health that really need addressed. When I got the idea to write about this, I figured, no biggie, little blog post, but now I am completely immersed in this and learning all that I can. My heart is so very heavy for what I know is going on.
One of these issues in reproductive care. Lack of family planning resources has a direct impact on maternal/child health. This basically means that without contraception, women and their families are negatively impacted. Ways in which they are negatively impacted are the maternal mortality rates. The more pregnancies she has, the greater her risk of dying. If the mother is HIV positive, the more babies she has, the greater risk of her baby contracting the disease. The less babies the woman has, the more financially secure the family will be. In unplanned pregnancies are reduced, there will be less need for unsafe abortive procedures that, again, put her life in peril.
In different regions, the use of modern contraception varies. In Western Africa the use is 8%, Eastern 20%, Middle 7%, and Southern 58%. Even different countries within these regions vary. Economic status directly impacts contraceptive use. Wealthier women are more likely to use modern family planning methods. This leaves poorer women at a disadvantage. This means they are less likely to be able to access family planning information. This status difference also determines abortion rates. If you have less access to contraception, you are far more likely to resort to abortion.
Sadly, in some African areas, women have no control over their reproduction. Some women deal with sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, incest, abduction, and early marriage. Africa has some of the highest levels of physical and sexual violence against women. This also leads to higher HIV infection rates (which also impacts maternal mortality and infant/child mortality).
In regards to abortion, in 2008, 6.4 million abortions were performed in Africa, with a mere 3% done safely. 3%!!! 14% of the women included in the maternal mortality statistics were due to unsafe abortion procedures. 1.7 million women annually are hospitalized due to unsafe abortion. 90% of African women live in areas where there is either little on no abortion access leaving these women with little to no options for safe abortion. Abortion is illegal in most African nations. Women are desperate enough that they drink bleach, have catheters inserted into their uterus, have crochet hooks inserted, etc. What happens when Mom dies due to complications from an unsafe abortion?
In conclusion, these women are at a huge disadvantage. We, in developed countries, should be beyond thankful that not only do we have access to family planning services whether it be Planned Parenthood or our own personal OB/GYN. We have access to education regarding every choice there is when it comes down to it. If we truly care about women, we would find out what we can do to help them access family planning services as it directly impacts maternal mortality.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Idolizing Africa- Part 1
I've been silently reading and pondering many things lately. One of those things happens to be the glorification of African mothering. The more research I do, the more I feel this needs to be broken up into a series. There are too many issues to touch on in one post.
We see photos of these women breastfeeding and wearing their babies, people commend them and give praise, oftentimes saying things about natural mothering. They see women in Africa that give birth outside of hospitals, using that to say how safe and beautiful and natural that birth is. Guess what?? We are privileged as hell to live in countries that have access to things African mothers don't. To pick up on this and hold it up as how mothering should be, to me, is incredibly racist and classist. Did you know that many organizations are trying to help with healthcare initiatives?? How many in this camp know about various morbidity and mortality rates? Do they care, at all?? If you want to hold this culture up as to how things should be, perhaps you should know exactly how things are for these mothers.
According to Life For African Mothers, 287,000 women died in pregnancy and childbirth in 2010. Holy crap! Nearly all could of been prevented. The top 4 causes of death are Postpartum Hemorrhage, Pre-Eclampsia and Eclampsia, Infection, and Unsafe Abortion. This angers me, as a woman, to know that these women are dying from these things in numbers like these. I am completely flabbergasted. The WHO says that in developing countries, the maternal mortality rate is 240/100,000 while it is 16/100,000 in developed countries there. One of the largest issues in the developing African countries is lack of care during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period. These women who die, their babies are 10X more likely to die within the first two years (UNICEF). Half of them don't even have access to a skilled birth attendant. Safe Motherhood should be a priority here!
Mortality is not the only thing we should know about. We should also know about childbirth complications and morbidity. The WHO estimates that over 2 million women in Asia and Sub-Saharan Africa suffers from Obstetric Fistula. These are caused by prolonged and obstructed labors. Although all women are at risk, the highest at risk are female genital mutilation victims, underage child brides, and teens.
For African babies, the numbers are staggering. More than 3 million babies die every year and 2.6 million are stillborn. According to World Birth Aid, in central Africa, the neonatal mortality rate is 74/1000. Can you imagine?? Sub-Saharan Africa itself accounts for 33% of global neonatal deaths. Most of these deaths occur during labor, delivery, or within 48 hours.
The discrepancies between countries is rather eye opening as well. I will be looking at different countries and addressing other various issues that influence maternal health. Right now, I just want the bare bones information out there. The more I read, the angrier I feel at the plight of these women. It truly disgusts me to know of their plight and then look at women around us that are angry because birth has "become medicalized". Well, as we can see, there is a reason for that. As privileged women complain and cry trauma because they had a c-section that saved either their or their babies lives, there are African women enduring days of labor only to give birth to a dead baby while suffering disability due to the birth or enduring a long labor, giving birth, then succumbing to blood loss hours later while all anyone can do is watch as she slowly slips away. I see Human Rights conferences held, but the main issue is protecting crappy midwives. When will this camp look at these African countries and say "These women matter". They have a right to health care and a right to SURVIVE. Nobody should have to die a preventable death due to lack of resources. So, the next time you see someone glorifying birth in Africa, lets shed some light on what it really means to be a pregnant African woman.
We see photos of these women breastfeeding and wearing their babies, people commend them and give praise, oftentimes saying things about natural mothering. They see women in Africa that give birth outside of hospitals, using that to say how safe and beautiful and natural that birth is. Guess what?? We are privileged as hell to live in countries that have access to things African mothers don't. To pick up on this and hold it up as how mothering should be, to me, is incredibly racist and classist. Did you know that many organizations are trying to help with healthcare initiatives?? How many in this camp know about various morbidity and mortality rates? Do they care, at all?? If you want to hold this culture up as to how things should be, perhaps you should know exactly how things are for these mothers.
According to Life For African Mothers, 287,000 women died in pregnancy and childbirth in 2010. Holy crap! Nearly all could of been prevented. The top 4 causes of death are Postpartum Hemorrhage, Pre-Eclampsia and Eclampsia, Infection, and Unsafe Abortion. This angers me, as a woman, to know that these women are dying from these things in numbers like these. I am completely flabbergasted. The WHO says that in developing countries, the maternal mortality rate is 240/100,000 while it is 16/100,000 in developed countries there. One of the largest issues in the developing African countries is lack of care during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period. These women who die, their babies are 10X more likely to die within the first two years (UNICEF). Half of them don't even have access to a skilled birth attendant. Safe Motherhood should be a priority here!
Mortality is not the only thing we should know about. We should also know about childbirth complications and morbidity. The WHO estimates that over 2 million women in Asia and Sub-Saharan Africa suffers from Obstetric Fistula. These are caused by prolonged and obstructed labors. Although all women are at risk, the highest at risk are female genital mutilation victims, underage child brides, and teens.
For African babies, the numbers are staggering. More than 3 million babies die every year and 2.6 million are stillborn. According to World Birth Aid, in central Africa, the neonatal mortality rate is 74/1000. Can you imagine?? Sub-Saharan Africa itself accounts for 33% of global neonatal deaths. Most of these deaths occur during labor, delivery, or within 48 hours.
The discrepancies between countries is rather eye opening as well. I will be looking at different countries and addressing other various issues that influence maternal health. Right now, I just want the bare bones information out there. The more I read, the angrier I feel at the plight of these women. It truly disgusts me to know of their plight and then look at women around us that are angry because birth has "become medicalized". Well, as we can see, there is a reason for that. As privileged women complain and cry trauma because they had a c-section that saved either their or their babies lives, there are African women enduring days of labor only to give birth to a dead baby while suffering disability due to the birth or enduring a long labor, giving birth, then succumbing to blood loss hours later while all anyone can do is watch as she slowly slips away. I see Human Rights conferences held, but the main issue is protecting crappy midwives. When will this camp look at these African countries and say "These women matter". They have a right to health care and a right to SURVIVE. Nobody should have to die a preventable death due to lack of resources. So, the next time you see someone glorifying birth in Africa, lets shed some light on what it really means to be a pregnant African woman.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Kindergarten, The newest season of grief
It's the first day of school.
You met your new teacher at open house, who seemed to set your mind at ease, after all you've grown up in front of the various teachers at the school. I was pregnant with you when we moved into the district.
You help me choose your first outfit. A pair jeans with embroidered flowers, a purple top, and the light up princess shoes grandma bought you.
You ask your oldest sister to do your hair just the same as hers. It's adorable how you are with her and she loves it! She's been crazy about you since the day you were born.
You have a bowl of Lucky Charms, making sure to eat the marshmallows first, then give the dogs whatever is left in your bowl.
We double check your Bratz backpack making sure that you have all of your supplies in there. You are so excited!
We stand outside waiting on the bus. Your brother and sister assure you that they will be there watching over you. The three of you hang out at the end of the driveway with the neighbor kids while discussing how you aren't ready for summer to end and these are the fun things you did during summer.
You excitedly get onto the bus. It's the same driver we've had for years who's always talked to you about riding the big kid bus. You've arrived!
When you get home, you tell us all about the new kids you've met and what kinds of things you did today. You hand me the war and peace booklet of papers to sign, reminding me to not forget to put them in your backpack.
All evening, you tell us all about how excited you are to go to school again. A few siblings roll their eyes, but encourage your excitement. All of you kids continue to share all about your first day and what types of things you are excited about. You're really looking forward to getting to play on the computer in the classroom! The teacher has let you play on there since your siblings had her.
Sadly, this will not be how our day goes. Instead, our family will carry around a heavy heart knowing what we will not be experiencing and feeling the void our daughter left behind. My husband and I will hold eachother a little longer knowing what we are each feeling. Some tears will be shed. This year, I will continuously be confronted with the reality of our loss. There will be no having lunch with her, no playing with her on the playground, she won't sheepishly be waving at me as her class enters the gymnasium for award assemblies, she won't be standing with classmates collecting awards, NOTHING. This is a whole new season of grief, of which I am unprepared for.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Feeling Selfish
I don't quite know how to say this without coming off rude, but I'm going to try.
As a grieving mother, I can't help but see things from my selfish perspective. I see women lamenting over these less than perfect births (sometimes only drawing this conclusion after the Ncb camp has worked their magic). These mothers grieve hard over their birth. I rarely see anyone telling mom to get therapy to deal with her issues. No, instead the answer is ICAN or having another baby to get it right. I see coddling like you wouldn't believe. This grief is carried on and on to where even birthdays make mom sad.
Here is where I'm at. I want to cry when I read this stuff. Its not because I feel so bad for mom. No. Its because she has no idea that I want what she has. I wish I could sit here whining about what I think was an unnecessary c-section. I would trade an experience for a healthy living baby a thousand times over. You get to celebrate your child's life at each birthday and watch them blow out candles. I light candles on a headstone. You get a real celebration with your child. I get a celebration of my child. Picnic and balloon release in the cemetery. You get to watch your child grow every year. I get to watch plants grow.
Maybe, just maybe, these moms need to step back and see things from another perspective. Heck, how many women don't even get the chance to have a baby or continuously lose them due to infertility issues? I know some people say that there isn't hierarchy in grief, but, in my mind, there is. I do feel that we have it worse than someone who didn't get an experience. We didn't get the most important part of our experience. Trade ya.
As a grieving mother, I can't help but see things from my selfish perspective. I see women lamenting over these less than perfect births (sometimes only drawing this conclusion after the Ncb camp has worked their magic). These mothers grieve hard over their birth. I rarely see anyone telling mom to get therapy to deal with her issues. No, instead the answer is ICAN or having another baby to get it right. I see coddling like you wouldn't believe. This grief is carried on and on to where even birthdays make mom sad.
Here is where I'm at. I want to cry when I read this stuff. Its not because I feel so bad for mom. No. Its because she has no idea that I want what she has. I wish I could sit here whining about what I think was an unnecessary c-section. I would trade an experience for a healthy living baby a thousand times over. You get to celebrate your child's life at each birthday and watch them blow out candles. I light candles on a headstone. You get a real celebration with your child. I get a celebration of my child. Picnic and balloon release in the cemetery. You get to watch your child grow every year. I get to watch plants grow.
Maybe, just maybe, these moms need to step back and see things from another perspective. Heck, how many women don't even get the chance to have a baby or continuously lose them due to infertility issues? I know some people say that there isn't hierarchy in grief, but, in my mind, there is. I do feel that we have it worse than someone who didn't get an experience. We didn't get the most important part of our experience. Trade ya.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
I hate this
Tonight, I seem to of hit a wall and all I can think is that I hate being a bereaved parent. Nobody asked me if I wanted this, it was thrust upon me. Many think I use it to garner sympathy or use it to be a bitch or use it to hurt others. Yeah, not hardly. I don't enjoy this.
This destroyed my belief system. I believed in homebirth and midwifery. Actually, I believed in midwifery to the point that I wanted to be one. Yes, I talked to Brenda about enrolling in an online midwifery school. My life was all about promoting natural birth, homebirth, and midwives. I know I pushed many people away and drove others crazy. I saw hospital birth and knew everything wrong. I wanted women to have what I did. I still, occasionally, have to battle that birth demon. It hasn't been easy.
I have to deal with others who see my daughter's death and think it doesn't matter. It matters. I wish I could tell myself that it would of happened regardless, but, I know different. I have to look at myself every single day knowing it was my choice that led to this. I'm harder on myself than I am on Brenda.
I have to keep fighting. This makes me the bad guy. What gets me is this seems like the only time you can't fight. I'm the enemy although I don't want to be. Let me share an example- car seat techs. They see a few accidents (likely more than a few) and see the importance of various safe riding initiatives. They go on and on hoping people can hear the message. They know many aren't receptive, but continue on. They don't want to see preventable deaths. Yet, they are heralded as wonderful advocates. So, how can those who promote safer midwifery be an enemy? If a baby/toddler dies from unsafe car sea useage it's a horrible tragedy, but baby dies preventable death it's no big deal. If someone uses that child as a reason to practice this car seat recommendation, it's heroic and the child has a legacy. However, in a homebirth, it doesn't matter, the baby would of died regardless. I have yet to see anyone say an unsafe car seat child would of died regardless. No one child matters more than another and I think people tend to forget it.
I hate having Sunday's at the cemetery. I hate watching the peony buds she has knowing that as they larger, its that much closer to her birthday. I love my friends, but, I can't deny that it breaks my heart when our due date club babies start having birthdays. This shouldn't be my life. I wish I could have a do over. I want my daughter more than anything I've ever wanted in my life.
I want her to matter. I want people to care about her needless and preventable death. I want people to care about how this has been on our family. Yes, it may of happened almost 5 years ago, but SHE still matters and will until the day I die. I want good to come of this. I don't want other parents to endure this, ever, ever, ever. I want the midwifery and homebirth communities to come together, support us, and say it's not ok and do everything in their power to prevent this. Show us our babies matter. Mine is not the only one, nor is she the last. I hate that. Does the homebirth community hate it? Does the midwifery community hate it?
This destroyed my belief system. I believed in homebirth and midwifery. Actually, I believed in midwifery to the point that I wanted to be one. Yes, I talked to Brenda about enrolling in an online midwifery school. My life was all about promoting natural birth, homebirth, and midwives. I know I pushed many people away and drove others crazy. I saw hospital birth and knew everything wrong. I wanted women to have what I did. I still, occasionally, have to battle that birth demon. It hasn't been easy.
I have to deal with others who see my daughter's death and think it doesn't matter. It matters. I wish I could tell myself that it would of happened regardless, but, I know different. I have to look at myself every single day knowing it was my choice that led to this. I'm harder on myself than I am on Brenda.
I have to keep fighting. This makes me the bad guy. What gets me is this seems like the only time you can't fight. I'm the enemy although I don't want to be. Let me share an example- car seat techs. They see a few accidents (likely more than a few) and see the importance of various safe riding initiatives. They go on and on hoping people can hear the message. They know many aren't receptive, but continue on. They don't want to see preventable deaths. Yet, they are heralded as wonderful advocates. So, how can those who promote safer midwifery be an enemy? If a baby/toddler dies from unsafe car sea useage it's a horrible tragedy, but baby dies preventable death it's no big deal. If someone uses that child as a reason to practice this car seat recommendation, it's heroic and the child has a legacy. However, in a homebirth, it doesn't matter, the baby would of died regardless. I have yet to see anyone say an unsafe car seat child would of died regardless. No one child matters more than another and I think people tend to forget it.
I hate having Sunday's at the cemetery. I hate watching the peony buds she has knowing that as they larger, its that much closer to her birthday. I love my friends, but, I can't deny that it breaks my heart when our due date club babies start having birthdays. This shouldn't be my life. I wish I could have a do over. I want my daughter more than anything I've ever wanted in my life.
I want her to matter. I want people to care about her needless and preventable death. I want people to care about how this has been on our family. Yes, it may of happened almost 5 years ago, but SHE still matters and will until the day I die. I want good to come of this. I don't want other parents to endure this, ever, ever, ever. I want the midwifery and homebirth communities to come together, support us, and say it's not ok and do everything in their power to prevent this. Show us our babies matter. Mine is not the only one, nor is she the last. I hate that. Does the homebirth community hate it? Does the midwifery community hate it?
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Almost 5 years, my ramblings
over the last several months I have been acutely aware that Mary's birthday was approaching. So many things served as a reminder of this. It almost feels like my heart has taken repeated beatings. I rarely show any sign of "I'm hurting" when it comes to her. Why, I don't know. Maybe I don't want to drag people down or maybe it's because it has been awhile or I'm too stubborn. I don't know. I've already given a few buddies a heads up about her impending birthday just in case I'm not my normal self. Everybody is supportive, which is awesome.
I actually got a wild hair up my behind and chose to create a facebook event for her birthday. I want her remembered by more than just us. I want her life to matter. Maybe, If you find a thread about CPM's/homebirth, share her story (but cap it because they generally get deleted because dead babies don't matter to them). Maybe I'll ask for kindergarten school supplies so we can donate something for a little girl this school year. I need ideas. We have 20 days (yes, I am counting the days). I better hurry up and think!
Even though it has been this long, my heart is still broken. Losing your child, it shatters it. You go about life trying to put the pieces back together hoping your heart will be healed. Like a vase, it never goes back to how it once was, ever. I still deal with triggers. I still hate Brenda. I still feel guilty every day (which is one hell of a burden to carry). I still wish I had made different choices. I would change this in a heartbeat. I don't like being a loss mom, esp not this kind!
I have learned that I'm strong, stronger than I ever knew I could be. I've learned that I'm glad I had her. I've learned who my friends truly are. I learned about the bonds of family due to the support I've received from mine since her death. I've learned about hope. I've learned about survival. I've learned that one subject can unite people as a family such as my fellow loss mothers. I don't know what I would of done without them. I love them and would do anything in this world for them. We know eachother like nobody else does. However, we all wish this wasn't what we have in common! I've learned that self-reflection is painful, but changes us for the better if we are willing to acknowledge it.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Dear Birth Anarchy
I recently read a post about the Human Rights in Childbirth conference and many things stood out to me.
The whole jist of the Human Rights in Childbirth was about the perceived persecution of midwives. The post says they were persecuted for things ranging from bad outcomes to the fact that they were even practicing midwifery. If you are practicing and you KNOW, YOU KNOW, you aren't suppose to be, why are you shocked when the law steps in? There are laws in place! The bad outcomes, they're not just bad outcomes, they are dead and/or injured babies. You are blowing off babies, mothers, and families that have truly been hurt. We aren't just "bad outcomes". My daughter was here and alive. She wasn't a "bad outcome". Her life mattered. All these babies, their lives matter. All of us mothers, we matter. Our families, they matter. This wasn't a "bad outcome". Let's take that term out and just say it - these midwives were "persecuted" for the deaths and/or injuries of babies. That's pretty serious! She talks about it being an injustice when a midwife is arrested for a "bad outcome" and to that I wonder where the injustice is for the babies lost and/or harmed?
She discusses the effects that an arrest has on midwives. These midwives go into hiding and live in fear. What about the resultant effects that a preventable loss or injury has on the families? What has been the resultant effects on myself? I certainly went into hiding and became a literal hermit. Part of me looks at myself as a victim of the movement , while the rest of me blames myself. I still have flashbacks. I have panic attacks. I question the kind of mother I am. I look at my husband and secretly wonder if he blames me too. I cannot speak of that day, but, I can type it and even that sends me into a downward spiral. When my workout partner asked me what happened to my daughter, I just told him I would send him a link, sent it, and told him not to speak of it. He hasn't. I'm no longer welcome amongst my former community because I chose to speak up. NOBODY stood by me, nobody. I was alienated. I've been harassed and attacked and mocked and shamed and publicly blamed by many within the community. That truly made the grief much, much worse.
Anger, smothered by grief, then left to rise from the ashes is a virulent thing.
Yet, what about the parents? You rally behind midwives, yet, what about us? Do you not see how your actions towards us are harmful? Where is the concern for our families? As you hold hands with your "sisters", can you see the families left grieving in their wake? If you are worried about women, what of their mental and physical wellbeing during grief? We are more than a uterus and vagina, we are real people suffering alone and silently.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Midwives and Personal Responsibility- LOL
In my last post, I touched on how parents are thrown the "personal responsibility" line if their baby dies. Now, let's look at personal responsibility of midwives. I wish I could say I have proof of a midwife accepting "personal responsibility" for her actions in loss, but sadly, I don't have a single thing to offer, What I do have to offer is proof of midwives not accepting responsibility for a loss.
"They needed love and time to heal---not to be angry at my witch hunting state for going after me when their precious one would never have made it no matter what." - Kristi Smith Zittle *
IOW, baby would of died anyways and parents need to heal, not worry about that pesky state getting involved with their baby's death.
"Everyone needs to "blame" someone so we don't have to take a look at the final truth. With ALL of our lives will come death. ALL of us will die. It is a matter of when, how and if we are surrounded in love. I'm going to take a break from this because it has taken such a detour. How about instead of blame we work together to make sure we, as women and human beings, are not further stripped of our rights to make choices and live and raise our families the best we know how." Aspiring homebirth Midwife
*IOW, death happens, let's keep up the fight*
"When a person does all that any human being can do to save a baby's life, then what are they 'accountable' for? DOING EVERYTHING THEY CAN DO is all that any one can do!"Not every doc or every hospital or every midwife can save every baby. Some babies are too damaged from something which happens in the womb or in labor; something which is no one's fault; something which is undetectable, unpreventable and treatable. It is usually not the doctors fault when a baby is lost. It is usually not the midwife's or mother's fault either. except for the very rare event of incorrect medication given, it is almost 'never' someones FAULT if a baby is lost. No mistakes were made. Everyone involved did their best.That is usually fact."- Gail Hart
*IOW* Doctors cause medication deaths, but it's almost never anyone's fault, let alone a midwife's because she did her best*
"And shame on every midwife that has contacted me (numerous) to overtly suggest that I should rethink my support of this midwife. My heart is breaking over this kind of peer level persecution."- Kathi Valeii, speaking about the arrest of Rowan Bailey
These are a few of many, many comments absolving midwives of all Personal Responsibility. Looking at the Sisters in Chains list, you see nothing but support for "persecuted" midwives, ie midwives who screwed up. It blows my mind that the same crowd who crows about parents who lose their babies taking "personal responsibility", but do we see a single midwife taking "personal responsibility"? In the last, roughly, 5 years, I have yet to see a single midwife with a death under her belt accepting responsibility for her negligent actions. No, they go on like nothing happened and when asked about that baby, they lie and concoct stories. This persecution thing is, frankly, bullshit. Instead of looking at us and screaming "personal responsibility", how about we look at our "sisters in chains" and look at the amount of destruction that is left in their wake. Personal responsibility means owning up to your mistakes. This means paying your own bail and your own attorney. This means admitting that you messed up. We already look at ourselves and admit, "I screwed up. I shouldn't of had that homebirth or should of chosen a different midwife". This does not mean "The baby died because of this or that". You look at your actions to see if you could of missed anything or done something that contributed to the death. Walking away like nothing ever happened isn't personal responsibility. Crying "persecution" isn't personal responsibility. Crying "witch hunt" isn't personal responsibility. I'm thinking that those who use that term towards the parents need to learn exactly what it means and hold their midwives to the same standard, after all, they ARE supposed to be the professional.
"They needed love and time to heal---not to be angry at my witch hunting state for going after me when their precious one would never have made it no matter what." - Kristi Smith Zittle *
IOW, baby would of died anyways and parents need to heal, not worry about that pesky state getting involved with their baby's death.
"Everyone needs to "blame" someone so we don't have to take a look at the final truth. With ALL of our lives will come death. ALL of us will die. It is a matter of when, how and if we are surrounded in love. I'm going to take a break from this because it has taken such a detour. How about instead of blame we work together to make sure we, as women and human beings, are not further stripped of our rights to make choices and live and raise our families the best we know how." Aspiring homebirth Midwife
*IOW, death happens, let's keep up the fight*
"When a person does all that any human being can do to save a baby's life, then what are they 'accountable' for? DOING EVERYTHING THEY CAN DO is all that any one can do!"Not every doc or every hospital or every midwife can save every baby. Some babies are too damaged from something which happens in the womb or in labor; something which is no one's fault; something which is undetectable, unpreventable and treatable. It is usually not the doctors fault when a baby is lost. It is usually not the midwife's or mother's fault either. except for the very rare event of incorrect medication given, it is almost 'never' someones FAULT if a baby is lost. No mistakes were made. Everyone involved did their best.That is usually fact."- Gail Hart
*IOW* Doctors cause medication deaths, but it's almost never anyone's fault, let alone a midwife's because she did her best*
"And shame on every midwife that has contacted me (numerous) to overtly suggest that I should rethink my support of this midwife. My heart is breaking over this kind of peer level persecution."- Kathi Valeii, speaking about the arrest of Rowan Bailey
These are a few of many, many comments absolving midwives of all Personal Responsibility. Looking at the Sisters in Chains list, you see nothing but support for "persecuted" midwives, ie midwives who screwed up. It blows my mind that the same crowd who crows about parents who lose their babies taking "personal responsibility", but do we see a single midwife taking "personal responsibility"? In the last, roughly, 5 years, I have yet to see a single midwife with a death under her belt accepting responsibility for her negligent actions. No, they go on like nothing happened and when asked about that baby, they lie and concoct stories. This persecution thing is, frankly, bullshit. Instead of looking at us and screaming "personal responsibility", how about we look at our "sisters in chains" and look at the amount of destruction that is left in their wake. Personal responsibility means owning up to your mistakes. This means paying your own bail and your own attorney. This means admitting that you messed up. We already look at ourselves and admit, "I screwed up. I shouldn't of had that homebirth or should of chosen a different midwife". This does not mean "The baby died because of this or that". You look at your actions to see if you could of missed anything or done something that contributed to the death. Walking away like nothing ever happened isn't personal responsibility. Crying "persecution" isn't personal responsibility. Crying "witch hunt" isn't personal responsibility. I'm thinking that those who use that term towards the parents need to learn exactly what it means and hold their midwives to the same standard, after all, they ARE supposed to be the professional.
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