Assumptions about homebirth losses

Recently, I received a link about a michigan woman who had a stillborn daughter 3 years ago. The DEM encouraged her to continue on, ending up at 44 weeks. Of course, this leads to comments about how the mother should of researched her provider and educated herself. When any homebirth horror story is shared, this line is constantly thrown around, c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y!! Nothing grates my nerves more. This line is used to take the blame away from negligent midwives and to pacify advocates who think it can't happen to them. Well, guess what advocates?? You are just as likely to have YOUR baby die as we did.

What research didn't we do?? We ask our midwives about outcomes and credentials. We have references. What else are women suppose to do? They cannot look through all the midwives "patient" records. We also know is some states it will only show if there has been a sanction, no mention of who brought it up, or what happened, just what the ruling was. Faith Beltz's said something to the effect of not writing something down, nothing about a dead baby. So, since advocates know so much, can they please tell women how to research their midwives ahead of time?? How many are handing clients the names of mothers who lost babies due to their negligence?? My guess is NONE. Women are not nind readers and cannot predict that their midwive will fail them and their baby. If I had known Brenda would fail Mary like she did, I would of run away quickly.

As for educating ourselves- how didn't we do this? Oh, you may have a point. We read Ina, Jennifer, and Henci's books. We watched BOBB (not me, but I know others who have). We saw the summaries of various studies like the Johnson Davies and Netherlands which said homebirth was as safe or safer than hospitals. We learned all about pregnancy and childbirth. We ate perfectly and kept ourselves in shape. We learned why hospitals and Doctors are bad. We learned why cesareans occur. We educated ourselves just like advocates do now. We hung out on homebirth boards. So, what makes you think we were uneducated? It sounds like you are telling us that a mother is uneducated if her baby dies. How logical is that??

Now, one of the things I have noticed is you all are your own cheering section. Women are encouraged to have homebirths even in high risk situations. Instead of saying "This is high risk and you should have your baby in a hospital", women are told "Oh that's a variation of normal", "stick garlic in your vagina", "practice the brewer diet", "Gestational diabetes doesn't exist", etc. Then, if there is a bad outcome and the mother speaks out, she is automatically villianized. She listened to others who reinforced what her midwife was telling her so how is she to know that something is actually dangerous?? By educating herself?? Mind you, homebirth websites don't even tell or encourage hospital birth. Homebirth sites tell you how walking into a hospital means pitocin, an epidural, fetal distress, then a c-section. Women are conditioned to fear doctors and hospitals. Do you not see what kind of environment you, as a homebirth advocate, create?? So, then baby dies, you go on to mistreat the mother and blame her for her baby's death??

When a baby dies, it's death can be laid on the shoulders of the incompetant midwife and the advocates who encourage homebirth at no cost while telling mom lies about the medical system. Stop blaming parents. Blaming them won't make you immune, so just stop. Would you be happy if one of these mothers totally cracked and ended up in the psych ward, intensive counseling, or dead from suicide?? You are so worried about PPD from c-sections and traumatic births, but don't care if YOU push a grieving mother into having this. I can promise the mother blames herself all the time and carries that weight, even when all she did was choose a provider. Yet, you insist on making sure that weight she carries is unbearable, just to try to push your agenda. I would never dream of blaming a mom for her child's death, yet homebirth advocates do this all the time. Perhaps all of you need to take a step back and put yourself in another person's shoes for two seconds. Your ASSumptions about lack of research and lack of education have absolutely no credibility.

If you cannot handle these stories, start holding incompetent midwives accountable so they stop occurring. Stop lashing out at us. Lashing out at us doesn't make a midwife practice any differently. We aren't hurting the movement, negligent midwives are and your support of them is just the final nail in the proverbial coffin.

Assumptions about homebirth losses

Recently, I received a link about a michigan woman who had a stillborn daughter 3 years ago. The DEM encouraged her to continue on, ending up at 44 weeks. Of course, this leads to comments about how the mother should of researched her provider and educated herself. When any homebirth horror story is shared, this line is constantly thrown around, c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y!! Nothing grates my nerves more. This line is used to take the blame away from negligent midwives and to pacify advocates who think it can't happen to them. Well, guess what advocates?? You are just as likely to have YOUR baby die as we did.

What research didn't we do?? We ask our midwives about outcomes and credentials. We have references. What else are women suppose to do? They cannot look through all the midwives "patient" records. We also know is some states it will only show if there has been a sanction, no mention of who brought it up, or what happened, just what the ruling was. Faith Beltz's said something to the effect of not writing something down, nothing about a dead baby. So, since advocates know so much, can they please tell women how to research their midwives ahead of time?? How many are handing clients the names of mothers who lost babies due to their negligence?? My guess is NONE. Women are not nind readers and cannot predict that their midwive will fail them and their baby. If I had known Brenda would fail Mary like she did, I would of run away quickly.

As for educating ourselves- how didn't we do this? Oh, you may have a point. We read Ina, Jennifer, and Henci's books. We watched BOBB (not me, but I know others who have). We saw the summaries of various studies like the Johnson Davies and Netherlands which said homebirth was as safe or safer than hospitals. We learned all about pregnancy and childbirth. We ate perfectly and kept ourselves in shape. We learned why hospitals and Doctors are bad. We learned why cesareans occur. We educated ourselves just like advocates do now. We hung out on homebirth boards. So, what makes you think we were uneducated? It sounds like you are telling us that a mother is uneducated if her baby dies. How logical is that??

Now, one of the things I have noticed is you all are your own cheering section. Women are encouraged to have homebirths even in high risk situations. Instead of saying "This is high risk and you should have your baby in a hospital", women are told "Oh that's a variation of normal", "stick garlic in your vagina", "practice the brewer diet", "Gestational diabetes doesn't exist", etc. Then, if there is a bad outcome and the mother speaks out, she is automatically villianized. She listened to others who reinforced what her midwife was telling her so how is she to know that something is actually dangerous?? By educating herself?? Mind you, homebirth websites don't even tell or encourage hospital birth. Homebirth sites tell you how walking into a hospital means pitocin, an epidural, fetal distress, then a c-section. Women are conditioned to fear doctors and hospitals. Do you not see what kind of environment you, as a homebirth advocate, create?? So, then baby dies, you go on to mistreat the mother and blame her for her baby's death??

When a baby dies, it's death can be laid on the shoulders of the incompetant midwife and the advocates who encourage homebirth at no cost while telling mom lies about the medical system. Stop blaming parents. Blaming them won't make you immune, so just stop. Would you be happy if one of these mothers totally cracked and ended up in the psych ward, intensive counseling, or dead from suicide?? You are so worried about PPD from c-sections and traumatic births, but don't care if YOU push a grieving mother into having this. I can promise the mother blames herself all the time and carries that weight, even when all she did was choose a provider. Yet, you insist on making sure that weight she carries is unbearable, just to try to push your agenda. I would never dream of blaming a mom for her child's death, yet homebirth advocates do this all the time. Perhaps all of you need to take a step back and put yourself in another person's shoes for two seconds. Your ASSumptions about lack of research and lack of education have absolutely no credibility.

If you cannot handle these stories, start holding incompetent midwives accountable so they stop occurring. Stop lashing out at us. Lashing out at us doesn't make a midwife practice any differently. We aren't hurting the movement, negligent midwives are and your support of them is just the final nail in the proverbial coffin.

Midwives and their supporters really care!

Looking at the recent events in Virginia, soon to be Maryland too, it leads me to really think about things. Here we have a woman, Karen Carr, who feels a passion to become a midwife due to her c-section. We all have passions for things we do. My husband became passionate about sick babies, so he has chosen to go to nursing school. I am passionate about helping parents, so I am active with my support group and involved with local perinatal bereavement programs at the hospitals around here. We care because we had a baby that died.

Midwives, like Carr, have a passion, but are unwilling to make that passion become an admirable or even respectable endeavor. They want to get out there and deliver babies, but, do not want to spend the time or energy to actually get educated or trained. This is how much they care about women and babies. Instead of looking at WHY laws are the way they are when it comes to midwifery, they stick their tongue out and say they are going to do what they want regardless. They couldn't possibly understand that laws exist to protect the public. Why do they need protecting?? Because CPM's are not educated or trained.

Let's look at how we are spoon fed the line about homebirths being as safe or safer than hospital births. On one hand we have CDC Statistics showing a 3X higher risk of babies dying while on the other, we have MANA who refuses to release numbers. We have Melissa Cheyney, who accepted $53K in grant money from two organizations to help with MANAstats between fall 2008 and spring 2010, that sits on the board for the Oregon Midwifery Council and MANA, that wants oregon midwives to report to MANA. Let's look at this- One woman deciding that all members of this group share numbers and information with another organization that she is paid to help play with their numbers, that they then refuse to release. Sounds like she gets a hefty paycheck helping MANA hide their numbers. If they really cared about women, they would say "Here are the numbers". It isn't hard to do. Why not have a site like CDC Wonder allowing us to see transfers, VBAC, Twins, deaths and when they occured, breech, etc? Why don't homebirth advocates ask the questions about midwives and homebirths as they do about hospitals and OB's? Why is it acceptable for midwifery organizations to refuse to share information with the people they are trying to help? Simply put, because they really don't care about the advocates. They know these women are weak and will believe anything they say. They prey upon this weakness. We know Melissa has made a pretty penny here, so maybe we should look at the rest of the people involved with MANA. From the looks of it, since 2004, MANA has received 18 grants from the Foundation for the Advancement of Midwifery. That foundation also gave money to the authors of the infamous BMJ study, actually both years before it's release and then again a year after it's release. I'm thinking these people care more about money than they do women or babies. After all, if they cared, there wouldn't be all this money wasted on an organization that doesn't really do anything besides sit there spouting the same nonsense that they always have.

What about dead babies, who cares for them?? Good question. I would certainly say their parents and those who warn against the dangers that CPM's pose. Look at Karen Carr and Amy Medwin. Hell., look at my midwife, Brenda Newport and Faith Beltz, midwife presiding over the death of Liz P's baby. All of these midwives just chalked it up to a loss and moved on. My midwife didn't care until she knew she was at risk for being arrested, then again when she learned we filed a complaint and had information in hand. That was as far as her caring went. Midwives care when they feel they stand to lose something. That's it. Homebirth advocates, they don't care. I recently did a piece on the attitudes and things said that can outline this better. Suffice it to say, again, they don't care. As far as they are concerned, it would of happened regardless or it's your fault. They will only support you if you pretend the midwife and/or location had nothing to do with it, so you have to act like you don't care and don't talk about the circumstances, ever. Would anyone who really cared treat a homebirth loss mom like that?? No, not hardly. They would pissed as all get out that an innocent baby died. They wouldn't want to see that midwife risking lives all over. We now know Carr had two deaths within a three month time span. Advocates still think this is ok and no big deal. There are 2 dead babies out of her 135 from last year. What about all the years prior? Medwin had two dead babies a month apart! Even Melissa dismissed a complaint brought forth by parents when their baby died!! If advocates and midwives really cared, this wouldn't be so commonplace nor would it be so accepted.

What happens when there are preventable hospital losses? A) There are investigations done into conduct. People are disciplined accordingly. Doctors are sued. You won't find a doctor telling parents "Eh, babies die at other hospitals too" and then chit chatting their buddy saying "Next time, make sure you write down this BP, now go enjoy yourself". B) They look into and even do change policies. They don't want these things to happen again. It's called learning from experience. They aren't going to, again, say "Eh, babies die at other hospitals too". One preventable loss is one loss too many to doctors and hospitals. If they screw up, they want to fix it.

So, do midwives or advocates really care about women/babies?? Better yet, what have they done to show they care?