To The Mother Contemplating Homebirth

Dear Mother,

          I am coming to you today to beg you to please don't make the same decisions I did. You see, I chose to homebirth with a CPM. I had previously had a successful homebirth with the same midwife. I ran in many of the circles that you do now. I did the research, got midwife references, grilled my midwife, etc. Basically, I did everything you've done. I was confident in my decisions and considered myself well educated. When well-meaning people would give me grief about my decisions, I would throw out the studies proving that what I was doing was completely safe.

          Today marks 7 years since my second homebirth. Like any other mother, I get to mark today with cupcakes, crafts, balloons, and gifts. We had funfetti cupcakes with pink icing and pink sugar crystals, pink and purple balloons, 3D stickers, a cute butterfly, and two new pinwheels. We had a friend and her grandchildren join us in the festivities. It was a really nice time.

          Today also marks seven years ago that my daughter died. Scattered in with our yearly celebration are tears and pain. Picking out balloons consisted of me crying in the store and some poor unknowing cashier setting out Kleenex for me. A trip to the craft store consisted of me crying while looking at bows. When I woke up today, I instinctively cried, so my amazing doberman hopped up in my bed to help comfort me. My friend, well, she's the lovely woman that donates her time to other bereaved families by photographing our babies. She was been a gem throughout this process. Today, I received things in my daughter's memory.

          Seven years ago, my daughter died a completely preventable death because my midwife (somehow) missed the signs that she wasn't getting enough oxygen and was in respiratory distress. Instead of actually saying "I think this baby needs evaluated, transport", she told us our daughter was perfectly healthy. Perfectly HEALTHY. I have to live with the fact that I believed what I was told. My midwife, well, she's still off delivering babies even though her negligence has claimed more innocent lives than Lisa Barrett! Choosing to speak out, it made me a pariah among my friends within the homebirth community, therefore I was completely abandoned and ostracized. My grief was judged, my child's death completely disregarded.

          I do not wish this life upon any other person. It hurts so very much. I want you to have a beautiful healthy baby. I want that baby to be in your arms! I want you to be able to do all the things that were robbed of me like those sweet smiles, giggles, coos, hearing MA-MA, hugs, kisses, first teeth, holidays, etc. The list of beautiful milestones grows every day. My heart and my body, they feel this absence every single day. I don't want this for you. I urge you to please reconsider the decisions that you are making. When told that this birth will affect everything, please remember that it isn't always good change. Grief is a terrible burden to carry.

The More You Learn

          Being in school, I've chosen to use my experiences when it comes to writing projects. This was probably not the best idea that I've ever had. Right now, I'm tackling a research project in regards to midwifery, their education, and birth outcomes in relation to that. I'm finding out more than I ever knew in regards to the entire CPM title/certification and sometimes it causes me to have to close my laptop and walk away. This is infuriating and I don't get how I fell for this crap nor how others are ok with it.

          MANA, did you know, they are the ones that created all these other little organizations. We see stuff about how CPM's can CHOOSE to go to an MEAC accredited school. Did you know members of MANA are the MEAC??? I sure as heck didn't know that! Everything in regards to CPM's always sounds so legit and they throw out organization names without telling anybody that they are one big conglomerate. Even NARM was created by them.It's great that they set their mind on trying to be legit, although there is already legit midwifery credentials and organizations out there. However, to have one group decide on everything is just corrupt.

          I happened to come across something called a job analysis, which is what NARM bases their exam on. How is this analysis done?? By surveying direct entry midwives about what skills and knowledge bases they deem important in midwifery. In the latest analysis the survey says they are more concerned with counseling women on alcohol consumption in pregnancy than in knowing how to treat group B strep. Lets take a good look at that. Group B Strep, untreated, will affect 1 in 200 babies and kill 1 in 20.  FAS affects .2-2 in 1,000 babies, with the mortality rates at 2.4%. Can anyone with a mathematical background please tell me which one of these is more prevalent? Why in the world are these uneducated women picking and choosing which skill sets they believe are unimportant?? Why is NARM changing the exam to cater to women that have decided they don't see the importance of various skills or knowledge bases? Am I the only one that thinks this is completely nuts??

          Something really has to change. This whole CPM credential needs abolished. We are already seeing the mortality rates rising, in not only babies, but in mothers as well. There is absolutely no excuse as to why these people should be practicing. Frankly, I think the majority are just too lazy and stupid to get a proper education. That's all it is. You want to do something with your life, well, make it happen, properly! Hell, I will need a Bachelors to work in my field. I can't just decide I want to do something and follow another clueless person around. I also won't be facing a life or death situation. For those CPM supporters, you guys need to pull your heads out of your asses and look at this situation without the rose colored glasses.

           You may be thinking to yourself, "Wow, she sounds angry". You're right, I am. I am beyond angry that this piss poor standard is promoted. I am pissed that not only did I lose my child, but I have friends that have lost their beautiful babies too. I am pissed that children are losing their mothers. I am pissed that these numbers are on the upswing. I know that it's only a matter of time before some celebrity either losses their baby, dies themselves, or worse- lose both mother and baby (happened recently). Something has to give, people have to stand up. This is getting worse.

Malpractice- When your loved one is a money machine!

Yes, when you look into suing after the death of a baby, all you want is money to make yourself feel better. It'll make you soooo happy, too. Amiright??

WRONG!!! Why should bereaved parents or bereaved people in general be reimbursed when a loved one has died a preventable death at the hand of a negligent individual??

A. To help cover medical costs of the loved one. We all know medical costs are insane. It sucks, but it's life. These can either be costs already incurred or costs that will be incurred due to an error that resulted in injury. This can mean constant doctor appointments, hospitalizations, surgeries, medications, and therapies. What if a 24 hour nurse is needed??

B. Lost wages. Parents have to take off work, that's if they even have the option. Not all employers offer 3 days of bereavement pay. My husband was given it, but he was still asked to come into work the next day. Loved ones normally don't get paid if they have to spend days out of work. Now, if this is a spouse whose wages went into the family budget, that's totally gone leaving the surviving spouse struggling alone. Add in dependent children and their life will be drastically altered. Can that single mom making $10 an hour survive with three kids under 5?? What about it being a single mom that has died and now her parents are having to care for her two children while retired and on Social security?? What if there is an injured child and a parent has to stop working so they can care for this child? Or if a spouse or parent becomes disabled and people have to quit working to become caregivers??

C. Funeral costs. For an infant, costs can be quite low if parents find a funeral home offering free services and a cemetary offing a free burial, but that still costs something. Over 18 months, they get even more expensive. It took my mom years to pay off my sisters services and she was cremated. Burial plots can be up there. Ours was the cheapest around and was still $600. I've seen places here charging up to $2500 for one plot. This reminds me, we still have to hurry up and pay for our plot so nobody else can be beside our daughter.

D. Injuries/Disability- I touched on future medical costs and lost wages. What about having to move to a house that the disabled person can get around in easier?? What if you have to have medical equipment in the home?? What if a home has to be modified for the individual?? What about the costs of a wheelchair/scooter?? What about vehicle modifications or if modifications cannot be done and a special vehicle has to be purchased. Once a child gets big enough, you have to also have a special car seat in your vehicle. Some families can get assistance or help securing these, but what about those who can't??

So, suing for malpractice does not mean you are out for money. It means you are trying to keep your head above water and help reimburse you for expenses that should not of/should not be occurring. How anyone can accuse people of using their loved one as a money maker when suing for malpractice is beyond me. I guess until you are in those shoes, you cannot fathom suing and for that, be glad you don't understand. I use to think suing wouldn't bring someone back so why do it. Then I learned how expensive it can be when someone is suddenly dead because of malpractice. Money doesn't magically make pain go away. For those who think like the image above, I have to wonder if they think it's ok to sue for doctor injuries/negligence or if it's midwifery injuries/negligence that nobody should be able to sue for as that comment was directed to people who were saying CPM's should be carrying malpractice insurance and I was the only one with a dead baby.

Malpractice- When your loved one is a money machine!

Yes, when you look into suing after the death of a baby, all you want is money to make yourself feel better. It'll make you soooo happy, too. Amiright??

WRONG!!! Why should bereaved parents or bereaved people in general be reimbursed when a loved one has died a preventable death at the hand of a negligent individual??

A. To help cover medical costs of the loved one. We all know medical costs are insane. It sucks, but it's life. These can either be costs already incurred or costs that will be incurred due to an error that resulted in injury. This can mean constant doctor appointments, hospitalizations, surgeries, medications, and therapies. What if a 24 hour nurse is needed??

B. Lost wages. Parents have to take off work, that's if they even have the option. Not all employers offer 3 days of bereavement pay. My husband was given it, but he was still asked to come into work the next day. Loved ones normally don't get paid if they have to spend days out of work. Now, if this is a spouse whose wages went into the family budget, that's totally gone leaving the surviving spouse struggling alone. Add in dependent children and their life will be drastically altered. Can that single mom making $10 an hour survive with three kids under 5?? What about it being a single mom that has died and now her parents are having to care for her two children while retired and on Social security?? What if there is an injured child and a parent has to stop working so they can care for this child? Or if a spouse or parent becomes disabled and people have to quit working to become caregivers??

C. Funeral costs. For an infant, costs can be quite low if parents find a funeral home offering free services and a cemetary offing a free burial, but that still costs something. Over 18 months, they get even more expensive. It took my mom years to pay off my sisters services and she was cremated. Burial plots can be up there. Ours was the cheapest around and was still $600. I've seen places here charging up to $2500 for one plot. This reminds me, we still have to hurry up and pay for our plot so nobody else can be beside our daughter.

D. Injuries/Disability- I touched on future medical costs and lost wages. What about having to move to a house that the disabled person can get around in easier?? What if you have to have medical equipment in the home?? What if a home has to be modified for the individual?? What about the costs of a wheelchair/scooter?? What about vehicle modifications or if modifications cannot be done and a special vehicle has to be purchased. Once a child gets big enough, you have to also have a special car seat in your vehicle. Some families can get assistance or help securing these, but what about those who can't??

So, suing for malpractice does not mean you are out for money. It means you are trying to keep your head above water and help reimburse you for expenses that should not of/should not be occurring. How anyone can accuse people of using their loved one as a money maker when suing for malpractice is beyond me. I guess until you are in those shoes, you cannot fathom suing and for that, be glad you don't understand. I use to think suing wouldn't bring someone back so why do it. Then I learned how expensive it can be when someone is suddenly dead because of malpractice. Money doesn't magically make pain go away. For those who think like the image above, I have to wonder if they think it's ok to sue for doctor injuries/negligence or if it's midwifery injuries/negligence that nobody should be able to sue for as that comment was directed to people who were saying CPM's should be carrying malpractice insurance and I was the only one with a dead baby.

Assumptions about homebirth losses

Recently, I received a link about a michigan woman who had a stillborn daughter 3 years ago. The DEM encouraged her to continue on, ending up at 44 weeks. Of course, this leads to comments about how the mother should of researched her provider and educated herself. When any homebirth horror story is shared, this line is constantly thrown around, c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y!! Nothing grates my nerves more. This line is used to take the blame away from negligent midwives and to pacify advocates who think it can't happen to them. Well, guess what advocates?? You are just as likely to have YOUR baby die as we did.

What research didn't we do?? We ask our midwives about outcomes and credentials. We have references. What else are women suppose to do? They cannot look through all the midwives "patient" records. We also know is some states it will only show if there has been a sanction, no mention of who brought it up, or what happened, just what the ruling was. Faith Beltz's said something to the effect of not writing something down, nothing about a dead baby. So, since advocates know so much, can they please tell women how to research their midwives ahead of time?? How many are handing clients the names of mothers who lost babies due to their negligence?? My guess is NONE. Women are not nind readers and cannot predict that their midwive will fail them and their baby. If I had known Brenda would fail Mary like she did, I would of run away quickly.

As for educating ourselves- how didn't we do this? Oh, you may have a point. We read Ina, Jennifer, and Henci's books. We watched BOBB (not me, but I know others who have). We saw the summaries of various studies like the Johnson Davies and Netherlands which said homebirth was as safe or safer than hospitals. We learned all about pregnancy and childbirth. We ate perfectly and kept ourselves in shape. We learned why hospitals and Doctors are bad. We learned why cesareans occur. We educated ourselves just like advocates do now. We hung out on homebirth boards. So, what makes you think we were uneducated? It sounds like you are telling us that a mother is uneducated if her baby dies. How logical is that??

Now, one of the things I have noticed is you all are your own cheering section. Women are encouraged to have homebirths even in high risk situations. Instead of saying "This is high risk and you should have your baby in a hospital", women are told "Oh that's a variation of normal", "stick garlic in your vagina", "practice the brewer diet", "Gestational diabetes doesn't exist", etc. Then, if there is a bad outcome and the mother speaks out, she is automatically villianized. She listened to others who reinforced what her midwife was telling her so how is she to know that something is actually dangerous?? By educating herself?? Mind you, homebirth websites don't even tell or encourage hospital birth. Homebirth sites tell you how walking into a hospital means pitocin, an epidural, fetal distress, then a c-section. Women are conditioned to fear doctors and hospitals. Do you not see what kind of environment you, as a homebirth advocate, create?? So, then baby dies, you go on to mistreat the mother and blame her for her baby's death??

When a baby dies, it's death can be laid on the shoulders of the incompetant midwife and the advocates who encourage homebirth at no cost while telling mom lies about the medical system. Stop blaming parents. Blaming them won't make you immune, so just stop. Would you be happy if one of these mothers totally cracked and ended up in the psych ward, intensive counseling, or dead from suicide?? You are so worried about PPD from c-sections and traumatic births, but don't care if YOU push a grieving mother into having this. I can promise the mother blames herself all the time and carries that weight, even when all she did was choose a provider. Yet, you insist on making sure that weight she carries is unbearable, just to try to push your agenda. I would never dream of blaming a mom for her child's death, yet homebirth advocates do this all the time. Perhaps all of you need to take a step back and put yourself in another person's shoes for two seconds. Your ASSumptions about lack of research and lack of education have absolutely no credibility.

If you cannot handle these stories, start holding incompetent midwives accountable so they stop occurring. Stop lashing out at us. Lashing out at us doesn't make a midwife practice any differently. We aren't hurting the movement, negligent midwives are and your support of them is just the final nail in the proverbial coffin.

Assumptions about homebirth losses

Recently, I received a link about a michigan woman who had a stillborn daughter 3 years ago. The DEM encouraged her to continue on, ending up at 44 weeks. Of course, this leads to comments about how the mother should of researched her provider and educated herself. When any homebirth horror story is shared, this line is constantly thrown around, c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y!! Nothing grates my nerves more. This line is used to take the blame away from negligent midwives and to pacify advocates who think it can't happen to them. Well, guess what advocates?? You are just as likely to have YOUR baby die as we did.

What research didn't we do?? We ask our midwives about outcomes and credentials. We have references. What else are women suppose to do? They cannot look through all the midwives "patient" records. We also know is some states it will only show if there has been a sanction, no mention of who brought it up, or what happened, just what the ruling was. Faith Beltz's said something to the effect of not writing something down, nothing about a dead baby. So, since advocates know so much, can they please tell women how to research their midwives ahead of time?? How many are handing clients the names of mothers who lost babies due to their negligence?? My guess is NONE. Women are not nind readers and cannot predict that their midwive will fail them and their baby. If I had known Brenda would fail Mary like she did, I would of run away quickly.

As for educating ourselves- how didn't we do this? Oh, you may have a point. We read Ina, Jennifer, and Henci's books. We watched BOBB (not me, but I know others who have). We saw the summaries of various studies like the Johnson Davies and Netherlands which said homebirth was as safe or safer than hospitals. We learned all about pregnancy and childbirth. We ate perfectly and kept ourselves in shape. We learned why hospitals and Doctors are bad. We learned why cesareans occur. We educated ourselves just like advocates do now. We hung out on homebirth boards. So, what makes you think we were uneducated? It sounds like you are telling us that a mother is uneducated if her baby dies. How logical is that??

Now, one of the things I have noticed is you all are your own cheering section. Women are encouraged to have homebirths even in high risk situations. Instead of saying "This is high risk and you should have your baby in a hospital", women are told "Oh that's a variation of normal", "stick garlic in your vagina", "practice the brewer diet", "Gestational diabetes doesn't exist", etc. Then, if there is a bad outcome and the mother speaks out, she is automatically villianized. She listened to others who reinforced what her midwife was telling her so how is she to know that something is actually dangerous?? By educating herself?? Mind you, homebirth websites don't even tell or encourage hospital birth. Homebirth sites tell you how walking into a hospital means pitocin, an epidural, fetal distress, then a c-section. Women are conditioned to fear doctors and hospitals. Do you not see what kind of environment you, as a homebirth advocate, create?? So, then baby dies, you go on to mistreat the mother and blame her for her baby's death??

When a baby dies, it's death can be laid on the shoulders of the incompetant midwife and the advocates who encourage homebirth at no cost while telling mom lies about the medical system. Stop blaming parents. Blaming them won't make you immune, so just stop. Would you be happy if one of these mothers totally cracked and ended up in the psych ward, intensive counseling, or dead from suicide?? You are so worried about PPD from c-sections and traumatic births, but don't care if YOU push a grieving mother into having this. I can promise the mother blames herself all the time and carries that weight, even when all she did was choose a provider. Yet, you insist on making sure that weight she carries is unbearable, just to try to push your agenda. I would never dream of blaming a mom for her child's death, yet homebirth advocates do this all the time. Perhaps all of you need to take a step back and put yourself in another person's shoes for two seconds. Your ASSumptions about lack of research and lack of education have absolutely no credibility.

If you cannot handle these stories, start holding incompetent midwives accountable so they stop occurring. Stop lashing out at us. Lashing out at us doesn't make a midwife practice any differently. We aren't hurting the movement, negligent midwives are and your support of them is just the final nail in the proverbial coffin.

Calling out a negligent Midwife

What can you do when your child dies due to a midwife's negligence?

Let's see, we attempted to consult a lawyer only to have nobody want to help because midwives don't carry insurance.
The police wanted to charge her with Negligent Homicide, but the detective refused to go on a "witch hunt".
The midwife review board did nothing but give us shit. Funny enough, they also have sat idly by while multiple babies die under her care.
A reporter was going to help us but after an interview, we never heard from him again.

After much thought I am going to publicly share the emails and as much info as I can dig up.

Email 1

There is alot of mis-truths on this. A Baby born at 37 weeks is not pre-mature by anyones standards, not even the medical community. Respitory distress is a common label for any reason the baby stops breathing. That doesn't mean its the reason she died. The baby didn't start getting jaundice under after I left. You didn't even notice it yourself until after the pictures came back and it was still a slight case. You are very aware there was no respiratory distress while the medics were there or while I was there. Sweetie, if you thought Mary Beth was breathing funny or having any trouble at all, because you are such loving and attentive parents I know in my heart you would have never gone to lay down and take a nap, you would have called me or someone for help. James said "we addressed all of our concerns with the midwife." Why did he say that? There were no concerns when I left. If fact, no one ever called me at all afterwards, for anything. You never brought up a concern with me. I even asked you yesterday if you got the M.E.'s report and you said "not yet."

You both realize midwives don't carry insurance. You also realize what the legally is in the state of Ohio, and it's not illegal, it's unregulated. We talked about this multiple times way back when you came to talk with me during your first pregnancy. This is not your first homebirth. Bambi you are a very knowledgeable lady concerning birth. You spent many hours researching before making a decision about anything.

J, I suppose you could be angry at lots of folks because of Mary Beth's death. You could try and sue the radiologist, they usually carry insurance. You could sue me. But do you really think throwing me and my kids out on the street will make you feel better? Because there isn't any money at my house. You've known me too long and that I struggle just as you do. I'd bet I make way less income than you do. You could try and sue the medics. They thought everything was ok the first time they were there, and couldn't save her at all the second time. But, medics have immunity in Ohio. You could even get angry at each other and end up in divorce court. Lots of families do break up because of a traumatic situation. The anger you feel comes out onto each other and the family. I pray you don't allow your broken heart to control your emotions. You have a wonderful family. You are some of the best parents I've ever known.

Bambi, when you both first came to me we discussed all your questions and concerns. We talked about legal status. We talked about what happens when a mom or baby needs transported to the hospital. We talked about what possible outcomes can happen at home and at the hospital. We even talked about the possibility that a baby could have problems that no human being can fix. That would be a decision that only God makes. You could get angry at Him too. He's big enough to take it. But it still won't bring us any answers or bring Mary Beth back.

J, it seems you are trying to hurt me by writing that letter to other midwives. As far as accountability goes, I already volunteered for a peer review. (If you feel you need to be there to hear the review, you are welcome to be there.) I realize you probably want me to hurt like you are hurting. I can only assure you my heart is bleeding right along with you both. My tears don't stop just because weeks go by. I love your family. Your children are some of my kids favorite people. Bambi is someone I love and cherish and have for years.

Before you continue, please, I beg you, think about the long term harm that would come. Lawsuits never bring closure, and usually not even the money you feel would make you happy. Legal action will only allow anger and bitterness to fester and overflow onto your children and your relationship as a couple. There are times in life we simply don't get the answers we desperately want. Trying to find a place to unload blame doesn't give the answer and it doesn't heal the hurt. But it can destroy everyone in the process, including yourself and your own family.

Please talk to me.

Email 2

Sheryl told me this evening the coroner wrote "respiratory distress caused by a home birth." She said you had posted that on one of the chat sites you both share. In the years I've known you, your wisdom and willingness to research everything has always been amazing to me. You take no ones word for anything. You investigate it yourself. Thats why when hospital births were not giving you the opportunity to birth your babies in the way you knew was right....you did the research and found another way. You never once simply took my word for it. You studied and examined everything to make sure you were making the best decision for your family. I admire that. I'm counting on that wisdom now. Please think about what the coroner is saying. A home birth cannot possibly cause respiratory distress. That can happen at home, in a taxi or in the hospital waiting room itself. That is a general label and term used for a person who stopped breathing. It is why Mary Beth stopped breathing that is the cause of death. Where she was born had nothing to do with that. I know you know that.

What the coroner is doing is exactly what any doc does when they want people to follow the hospital path, the place the blame on a homebirth or midwife. Repository distress can be a lung defect, a choking, or even a SIDS death. You can have that diagnosis at the moment of birth, several hours later, or even as an old man. It is a very loose term to say in medical lingo we don't have an answer. So the way to get good people angry is to blame midwives.

Your hurting and pain is so hard to face right now. But please do not allow yourself to be sucked into one medial doc's statement. Please participate in the review process with us. Come with me to one of my own back up doctors and we'll hash out together what could have been going on, what we might have missed or done differently. At least an OB will have the most experience in birth, life and death and babies in trouble. A medical examiner will only have experience in death.

I want so much to come over tomorrow and hold you. Can we go over his report together? Can we find a way to work thru all this pain by supporting each other? Can we please lay out all the issues and walk thru them one by one until we find true understanding of how Mary Beth died?

We are both Christian familys. And in that spirit of friendship can we work together to find the truth. If we allow anger and bitterness to reign we loose sight of our friendship and love as friends, we'll lose sight of the goal to find the real reason the breathing distress came on and bring closure. We lose sight of our familes and husbands as we start throwing mud and insults and stinging words. Then everyone loses. Please don't do this to all the familes involved. Protect your family and your marriage above all buy not allowing the anger at the unknown destroy. God have a wonderful plan for sweet Mary Beth. Lets find that goal for her life together.

Please Bambi, Please call me, write me back or I'd love to come over. I wold be thrilled to come tomorrow to talk if you would be gracious to invite me. We'll talk, we'll investigate ideas and share what we fond and return on the path of continuing to be friends.

Please, please talk to me. Can I come over for awhile to visit?

Email 3

I keep trying to talk to you and I'm getting a wall of silence. We are friends. Please don't shut me out of your life. Especially based on one lone doctors opinion.

I will be able to send your birth records tomorrow. Even though it seems you want them to try and use against me, they are your records and I will not keep them from you. I do, however, need to hear from you that you still want them and acknowledge them coming still you are not talking with me.

Please, please, think about what you are doing. Mary Beth is a beautiful little daughter and would not want fighting or destruction to midwifery being done in her memory. There is always a risk with life. We don't always understand why life takes the turns it does. It doesn't mean it was anyones fault. You have been a mom and baby advocate for many years. You know the advantages in midwife care and home births for families. What James is contemplating doing will destroy midwifery for moms all over the state. You've seen the ACOG statement, they want midwifery destroyed in all 50 states by next year.

Please talk to me.

I've had a few minor "run-ins" where I was questioned by the hospital doctors and/or the coroner. But once I was in enough "trouble" that I was required to be at a few police interviews and it was eventually taken to the Stark County Grand Jury. I delivered a set of twins. This mom had been my friend for 12 years and I delivered 5 of her other 6 children. She always goes 3 weeks over her due dates, and always gives birth to huge babies…10.5 to 11.5 pounds (never diabetic though).

In this case her twins were born 10 days early, but in my mind she could actually have babies that were almost 5 weeks early…regardless that they weighed 8-8.5 each. When one baby started having breathing problems two days after birth we got him to th e hospital. He was fine after transporting, but died the next day in the hospital under the doctors' care. The doctor and coroner both adamantly insisted I was a nutcase, this baby was only 10 days early and couldn't have had immature lungs. Yet the de ath report states just that.

They tried to charge the parents with child abuse and neglect (for – believe it or not! – obeying the midwife!). They tried to charge me with manslaughter. Although I was never formally charged, the prosecutor tried every angle to blame the death on me. The grand jury refused to charge me with anything and it was all finally dropped.

At the beginning I started bringing my own tape recorder with me to each interview. Partly because I thought if I would just cooperate they would see I had done nothing wrong and would not need an attorney, so I wanted my own record. That thoroughly pissed off the police. Since I hadn't been charged, they were told they had to allow it. That was the best thing I could have done and saved my butt several times when they tried to make up statements and comments later.

Second, I made copies of everything from the first afternoon the baby died. I copied all my records, copied all pictures taken at the birth, and made copies of the videotape the grandma made of the birth. I labeled the tape "Christmas Vacation 2000" and then handed three copies out to friends, instructing them to hide or give away the tapes and not tell me where they are. That videotape would be confiscated by the police and I wanted nothing edited or deleted.

I also started storing my birth bags at another house. It was a real pain to have to travel there to collect things before getting off to a birth, but I wasn't willing to lose a life's work worth of equipment just because the police would come in and do a sudden sweep of my house. The parents and I are still friends (they too were found innocent).

Anyway, that is my two cents. Copy everything, store your stuff elsewhere until all danger is passed, and take your own tape recorder to all interviews (especially if you don't have an attorney the first time you talk to someone!).

Brenda Scarpino

http://74.6.239.67/search/cache?ei=UTF-8&p=brenda+scarpino&fr=chrf-ytbm&u=www.fromcallingtocourtroom.net/defaultchap1.htm&w=brenda+scarpino&d=fDS0RrZfVLSN&icp=1&.intl=us&sig=MdwGfOqaKVhWf5orLlngXw

http://www.clevescene.com/cleveland/midwife-crisis/Content?oid=1495304

Brenda Scarpino-Newport, you are a negligent midwife and did cause my daughter's death.

Calling out a negligent Midwife

What can you do when your child dies due to a midwife's negligence?

Let's see, we attempted to consult a lawyer only to have nobody want to help because midwives don't carry insurance.
The police wanted to charge her with Negligent Homicide, but the detective refused to go on a "witch hunt".
The midwife review board did nothing but give us shit. Funny enough, they also have sat idly by while multiple babies die under her care.
A reporter was going to help us but after an interview, we never heard from him again.

After much thought I am going to publicly share the emails and as much info as I can dig up.

Email 1

There is alot of mis-truths on this. A Baby born at 37 weeks is not pre-mature by anyones standards, not even the medical community. Respitory distress is a common label for any reason the baby stops breathing. That doesn't mean its the reason she died. The baby didn't start getting jaundice under after I left. You didn't even notice it yourself until after the pictures came back and it was still a slight case. You are very aware there was no respiratory distress while the medics were there or while I was there. Sweetie, if you thought Mary Beth was breathing funny or having any trouble at all, because you are such loving and attentive parents I know in my heart you would have never gone to lay down and take a nap, you would have called me or someone for help. James said "we addressed all of our concerns with the midwife." Why did he say that? There were no concerns when I left. If fact, no one ever called me at all afterwards, for anything. You never brought up a concern with me. I even asked you yesterday if you got the M.E.'s report and you said "not yet."

You both realize midwives don't carry insurance. You also realize what the legally is in the state of Ohio, and it's not illegal, it's unregulated. We talked about this multiple times way back when you came to talk with me during your first pregnancy. This is not your first homebirth. Bambi you are a very knowledgeable lady concerning birth. You spent many hours researching before making a decision about anything.

J, I suppose you could be angry at lots of folks because of Mary Beth's death. You could try and sue the radiologist, they usually carry insurance. You could sue me. But do you really think throwing me and my kids out on the street will make you feel better? Because there isn't any money at my house. You've known me too long and that I struggle just as you do. I'd bet I make way less income than you do. You could try and sue the medics. They thought everything was ok the first time they were there, and couldn't save her at all the second time. But, medics have immunity in Ohio. You could even get angry at each other and end up in divorce court. Lots of families do break up because of a traumatic situation. The anger you feel comes out onto each other and the family. I pray you don't allow your broken heart to control your emotions. You have a wonderful family. You are some of the best parents I've ever known.

Bambi, when you both first came to me we discussed all your questions and concerns. We talked about legal status. We talked about what happens when a mom or baby needs transported to the hospital. We talked about what possible outcomes can happen at home and at the hospital. We even talked about the possibility that a baby could have problems that no human being can fix. That would be a decision that only God makes. You could get angry at Him too. He's big enough to take it. But it still won't bring us any answers or bring Mary Beth back.

J, it seems you are trying to hurt me by writing that letter to other midwives. As far as accountability goes, I already volunteered for a peer review. (If you feel you need to be there to hear the review, you are welcome to be there.) I realize you probably want me to hurt like you are hurting. I can only assure you my heart is bleeding right along with you both. My tears don't stop just because weeks go by. I love your family. Your children are some of my kids favorite people. Bambi is someone I love and cherish and have for years.

Before you continue, please, I beg you, think about the long term harm that would come. Lawsuits never bring closure, and usually not even the money you feel would make you happy. Legal action will only allow anger and bitterness to fester and overflow onto your children and your relationship as a couple. There are times in life we simply don't get the answers we desperately want. Trying to find a place to unload blame doesn't give the answer and it doesn't heal the hurt. But it can destroy everyone in the process, including yourself and your own family.

Please talk to me.

Email 2

Sheryl told me this evening the coroner wrote "respiratory distress caused by a home birth." She said you had posted that on one of the chat sites you both share. In the years I've known you, your wisdom and willingness to research everything has always been amazing to me. You take no ones word for anything. You investigate it yourself. Thats why when hospital births were not giving you the opportunity to birth your babies in the way you knew was right....you did the research and found another way. You never once simply took my word for it. You studied and examined everything to make sure you were making the best decision for your family. I admire that. I'm counting on that wisdom now. Please think about what the coroner is saying. A home birth cannot possibly cause respiratory distress. That can happen at home, in a taxi or in the hospital waiting room itself. That is a general label and term used for a person who stopped breathing. It is why Mary Beth stopped breathing that is the cause of death. Where she was born had nothing to do with that. I know you know that.

What the coroner is doing is exactly what any doc does when they want people to follow the hospital path, the place the blame on a homebirth or midwife. Repository distress can be a lung defect, a choking, or even a SIDS death. You can have that diagnosis at the moment of birth, several hours later, or even as an old man. It is a very loose term to say in medical lingo we don't have an answer. So the way to get good people angry is to blame midwives.

Your hurting and pain is so hard to face right now. But please do not allow yourself to be sucked into one medial doc's statement. Please participate in the review process with us. Come with me to one of my own back up doctors and we'll hash out together what could have been going on, what we might have missed or done differently. At least an OB will have the most experience in birth, life and death and babies in trouble. A medical examiner will only have experience in death.

I want so much to come over tomorrow and hold you. Can we go over his report together? Can we find a way to work thru all this pain by supporting each other? Can we please lay out all the issues and walk thru them one by one until we find true understanding of how Mary Beth died?

We are both Christian familys. And in that spirit of friendship can we work together to find the truth. If we allow anger and bitterness to reign we loose sight of our friendship and love as friends, we'll lose sight of the goal to find the real reason the breathing distress came on and bring closure. We lose sight of our familes and husbands as we start throwing mud and insults and stinging words. Then everyone loses. Please don't do this to all the familes involved. Protect your family and your marriage above all buy not allowing the anger at the unknown destroy. God have a wonderful plan for sweet Mary Beth. Lets find that goal for her life together.

Please Bambi, Please call me, write me back or I'd love to come over. I wold be thrilled to come tomorrow to talk if you would be gracious to invite me. We'll talk, we'll investigate ideas and share what we fond and return on the path of continuing to be friends.

Please, please talk to me. Can I come over for awhile to visit?

Email 3

I keep trying to talk to you and I'm getting a wall of silence. We are friends. Please don't shut me out of your life. Especially based on one lone doctors opinion.

I will be able to send your birth records tomorrow. Even though it seems you want them to try and use against me, they are your records and I will not keep them from you. I do, however, need to hear from you that you still want them and acknowledge them coming still you are not talking with me.

Please, please, think about what you are doing. Mary Beth is a beautiful little daughter and would not want fighting or destruction to midwifery being done in her memory. There is always a risk with life. We don't always understand why life takes the turns it does. It doesn't mean it was anyones fault. You have been a mom and baby advocate for many years. You know the advantages in midwife care and home births for families. What James is contemplating doing will destroy midwifery for moms all over the state. You've seen the ACOG statement, they want midwifery destroyed in all 50 states by next year.

Please talk to me.

I've had a few minor "run-ins" where I was questioned by the hospital doctors and/or the coroner. But once I was in enough "trouble" that I was required to be at a few police interviews and it was eventually taken to the Stark County Grand Jury. I delivered a set of twins. This mom had been my friend for 12 years and I delivered 5 of her other 6 children. She always goes 3 weeks over her due dates, and always gives birth to huge babies…10.5 to 11.5 pounds (never diabetic though).

In this case her twins were born 10 days early, but in my mind she could actually have babies that were almost 5 weeks early…regardless that they weighed 8-8.5 each. When one baby started having breathing problems two days after birth we got him to th e hospital. He was fine after transporting, but died the next day in the hospital under the doctors' care. The doctor and coroner both adamantly insisted I was a nutcase, this baby was only 10 days early and couldn't have had immature lungs. Yet the de ath report states just that.

They tried to charge the parents with child abuse and neglect (for – believe it or not! – obeying the midwife!). They tried to charge me with manslaughter. Although I was never formally charged, the prosecutor tried every angle to blame the death on me. The grand jury refused to charge me with anything and it was all finally dropped.

At the beginning I started bringing my own tape recorder with me to each interview. Partly because I thought if I would just cooperate they would see I had done nothing wrong and would not need an attorney, so I wanted my own record. That thoroughly pissed off the police. Since I hadn't been charged, they were told they had to allow it. That was the best thing I could have done and saved my butt several times when they tried to make up statements and comments later.

Second, I made copies of everything from the first afternoon the baby died. I copied all my records, copied all pictures taken at the birth, and made copies of the videotape the grandma made of the birth. I labeled the tape "Christmas Vacation 2000" and then handed three copies out to friends, instructing them to hide or give away the tapes and not tell me where they are. That videotape would be confiscated by the police and I wanted nothing edited or deleted.

I also started storing my birth bags at another house. It was a real pain to have to travel there to collect things before getting off to a birth, but I wasn't willing to lose a life's work worth of equipment just because the police would come in and do a sudden sweep of my house. The parents and I are still friends (they too were found innocent).

Anyway, that is my two cents. Copy everything, store your stuff elsewhere until all danger is passed, and take your own tape recorder to all interviews (especially if you don't have an attorney the first time you talk to someone!).

Brenda Scarpino

http://74.6.239.67/search/cache?ei=UTF-8&p=brenda+scarpino&fr=chrf-ytbm&u=www.fromcallingtocourtroom.net/defaultchap1.htm&w=brenda+scarpino&d=fDS0RrZfVLSN&icp=1&.intl=us&sig=MdwGfOqaKVhWf5orLlngXw

http://www.clevescene.com/cleveland/midwife-crisis/Content?oid=1495304

Brenda Scarpino-Newport, you are a negligent midwife and did cause my daughter's death.