Friday, February 25, 2011

Helping midwifery in North Carolina

For those wanting to see a change in North Carolina, I encourage you to write to the NC nursing board in support of CNM's. Let's also tell them that NC women need more homebirth CNM's who work in collaborative agreement with OB's. State that OB's shouldn't be just a back-up, we want them working together for the safety of women and babies. Having CNM's deliver at home will give women a safe choice for out of hospital birth instead of relying on a lay midwife.

If a woman is genuinely passionate about helping women birth at home, she will do what it takes to get the CNM certification. Claiming passionate reasons to not get a real certification makes you nothing more than a birth junkie who doesn't care about the women or babies she serves. Is nursing school cheap or convenient?? No. However, attending and getting that degree means you are dedicated and that helping women/babies is not just a hobby. That is to be admired!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Incompetence in Midwifery

Recently, NC CPM Emily "Amy" Medwin was arrested for practicing medicine without a license. This is NOT her first run in with NC authorities. NC Friends of Midwives are rallying behind this midwife in droves. According to them, she is a wonderful midwife.

In the state of NC, it is illegal to practice midwifery unless you are a Certified Nurse Midwife or a CNM. The state of North Carolina is NOT limiting your choices. They are giving you safe options. CPM's have a perinatal mortality rate that is 3X higher than in the hospital. I will go so far as to say that CPM's are a threat to public safety, NOT an asset. When a product causes a few deaths, recalls are performed and products are taken off of shelves. So, why are non-CNM's still practicing??

Having shared my story, many people have said that they cannot believe my midwife is still practicing. Faith Beltz, who caused the death of Aquila, is still practicing. A North Carolina mother lost her baby due to Amy Medwin amnd another has a baby clinging to life. Why don't these friend of midwife organizations stand up and say "We want mothers and babies safe"? If you are supporting a midwife that has caused an infant loss, you are showing people that the health of women and their babies is unimportant, the importance lies in just having midwives. Incompetence should be discouraged. What if it is your baby next?? Don't think it can't happen to you, because it can. Not a single homebirth mother is invincible. This midwife you support could end up being the very person who destroys your world by taking your child's life. Why can't homebirth supporters tell incompetent midwives that they will not support them??

I know people are clamoring about choice. One incompetent midwife does not take away your choice. If anything, you have been given safER choices. If homebirth means more to you than your child's life, hey, find another subpar CPM- they're all over the place. If you want SAFE choices, go to a DR or a CNM. I have to say, CNM's do have better rates than even doctors. However, I think it also shows that CNM's do take on only real low risk mothers. If CPM's were so educated and knew all about "normal birth", their numbers would reflect those of CNM's. CPM numbers don't even reflect those of DR's! Forget choice. Let's think about SAFETY! There is nothing stopping CPM's from becoming CNM's. Oh wait, they don't want to go to school, don't want to learn about the entire body, don't want to spend the money, AND women don't find educated care providers desirable!

Would you support a person performing back alley abortions?? They know all about the reproductive system and how abortions are performed. You might lose a few mothers. Interestingly enough, childbirth is riskier than abortion!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Homebirth reform- in the words of a loss mom

Death challenged many "facts" i thought i knew, and rocked me to my core. In the rubble left i have been carefully and painstakingly reconstructing something of worth from the pieces. i want, i need my daughter's name to matter. i need the world to change in some way because of her.

I encourage all childbearing women to read this. I hope all homebirthers take this to heart.

Liz P, you are such a strong woman and I am honored to be your friend. I love you!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Experiencing the rainbow

When my daughter died, all I wanted was to hold another baby in my arms. Sometimes I didn't. We bounced around on this issue for awhile then ultimately decided Mary would be our last child and I would just have my tubes tied. We were happy with our choice. You know what happens when you decide you're done having children?? You get pregnant, lol.

The pregnancy was very rough to say the least. I was a very high risk patient who had to take shots and have testing all the time. This was a very expensive pregnancy as well!! Mentally, It was very taxing. I would go to appointments and just cry. My Dr's would hold my hand and listen, hand me a tissue, reassure me, and give me a big hug. When I talked about Mary, my Dr's would cry with me. I knew if I just needed an ear, they were a phone call away and if I decided to medicate, I could (but chose not to). Physically, I was a wreck. I had progesterone shots weekly that hurt horribly. The ultrasounds that began as nice and cool lost their luster as I got bigger. It is possible to pass out during an ultrasound! Luckily, one of my techs was really good at doing ultrasounds with mom laying on her side. My rainbow, Ireland, would often give the techs a hard time. She would hit the wand and then move so the area we were trying to see was again out of our sights, lol. One neat thing was being able to watch her grow and the manifestation of her personality. I knew before birth that she was going to be very tempermental and strong-willed.

Having the high risk status I did, we knew that we would need to be induced. This would occur at exactly 39 weeks. Of course, all the arrangements were made and the induction was set for Nov 5th. Ireland being the baby she was, did not like plans and decided to do as she pleased. So, I went into labor the week before the induction was scheduled. The labor went pretty good. We had one decel and at that moment, the build up of everything came rushing out and I became an emotional mess. Plans were made for an emergency c-section should we have another one. I was so close to holding her in my arms and I didn't care what needed to be done to get her here. If the decision had been left to me, I would of had a c-section after that decel. I knew they would have to knock me out and I would miss the first few hours of her life. That was fine with me if that meant she would live. They could of done anything they wanted to me as long as it gave me a healthy, living baby.

At 11:20AM, Ireland Elyse was born. She was IDENTICAL to her sister. The emotional breakdown I thought I would have didn't happen then. We just basked in the glory of this baby. When Mary died, my mother came to the hospital, held her granddaughter, and wept horribly. My mother got to be one of my labor coaches with Ireland (luckily since James had worked the night before and was sleeping) and was able to be there for her birth. It was kind of a healing thing for us all. Unfortunately, about six hours after Ireland's birth she had to go to the NICU. We knew that was probably going to happen so we weren't too shocked. The NICU at our hospital has private rooms, so I was able to stay with her after my discharge. I had to go home one night and that really shook me up. Leaving the hospital empty handed again was absolutely horrible. It really brought back the day Mary died when we had to hand her over and leave. I don't think anybody understood why I felt the way I did. My mom kept reassuring me that the situation was nothing like Mary. Luckily, this was the only night I spent away from her.In an odd turn of events, one of the neonatologists that worked on Mary ended up being Ireland's DR! She asked me the one day if Ireland looked like any of her siblings. I told her Yes but the sibling didn't make it and she was the one who worked on her. I later learned that several nurses quit their jobs that day because they couldn't handle it. Dr. Ford them did her best to reassure me that what happened to Mary would not happen to Ireland. After 5 1/2 days in the NICU, Ireland came home!

Bringing our rainbow home introduced a whole new set of challenges. I was always scared that she would just die as soon as I went to sleep. I spent many nights awake. Some nights I would have her in her car seat sleeping while I slept on the couch or have her in the cradle beside my bed with my hand in it so I could feel her chest move or have her in the co-sleeper in my bed so I could be touching her. I always had to be touching her. Those first months were horrible to be honest. Already having a loss and knowing it is possible was the first strike. Then add in all the SIDS moms I knew and continued to come into contact with was another strike to my sanity. I never felt safe. I still don't feel safe with any of my kids. I know I can lose them in an instant. Facing your child's mortality shatters your innocence.

Here we are 15+ months into the journey of having a rainbow baby. I am even more convinced than ever that Mary had a hand in sending this baby sister to us. She is the light of all of our lives. You can see that all the kids feel differently about her than they do eachother. She is Trouble and into everything humanly possible, hence why we recently childproofed for the first time ever! Her personality is off the wall. We have truly been given a run for our money. I would go through the entire pregnancy with her all over again if that meant we would still have her.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Changing things up

I know this blog is pretty much used as a homebirth is bad, laugh at crunchies type of place. I've decided that I need to show a new side of who I am. I know this blog must make me look like a raging sociopath that isn't fit to raise a fish. People need to see who I am, the real me. The real me is somewhat of a loner. The few friends I do have are very close friends whom I would move heaven and earth for. I am crazy about my husband, who was my high school sweetheart many moons ago. My children are everything to me and I spend my life showing them that. I am pretty loyal to both of our extended families (though I do have sperm donor issues, but generally I don't consider him family). What would readers like to know about me?? I'm an open book. Here soon, I will be placing a facebook widget on here so you can look me up there. Now I am off to find a new layout because this one sucks.


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