To The Mother Contemplating Homebirth

Dear Mother,

          I am coming to you today to beg you to please don't make the same decisions I did. You see, I chose to homebirth with a CPM. I had previously had a successful homebirth with the same midwife. I ran in many of the circles that you do now. I did the research, got midwife references, grilled my midwife, etc. Basically, I did everything you've done. I was confident in my decisions and considered myself well educated. When well-meaning people would give me grief about my decisions, I would throw out the studies proving that what I was doing was completely safe.

          Today marks 7 years since my second homebirth. Like any other mother, I get to mark today with cupcakes, crafts, balloons, and gifts. We had funfetti cupcakes with pink icing and pink sugar crystals, pink and purple balloons, 3D stickers, a cute butterfly, and two new pinwheels. We had a friend and her grandchildren join us in the festivities. It was a really nice time.

          Today also marks seven years ago that my daughter died. Scattered in with our yearly celebration are tears and pain. Picking out balloons consisted of me crying in the store and some poor unknowing cashier setting out Kleenex for me. A trip to the craft store consisted of me crying while looking at bows. When I woke up today, I instinctively cried, so my amazing doberman hopped up in my bed to help comfort me. My friend, well, she's the lovely woman that donates her time to other bereaved families by photographing our babies. She was been a gem throughout this process. Today, I received things in my daughter's memory.

          Seven years ago, my daughter died a completely preventable death because my midwife (somehow) missed the signs that she wasn't getting enough oxygen and was in respiratory distress. Instead of actually saying "I think this baby needs evaluated, transport", she told us our daughter was perfectly healthy. Perfectly HEALTHY. I have to live with the fact that I believed what I was told. My midwife, well, she's still off delivering babies even though her negligence has claimed more innocent lives than Lisa Barrett! Choosing to speak out, it made me a pariah among my friends within the homebirth community, therefore I was completely abandoned and ostracized. My grief was judged, my child's death completely disregarded.

          I do not wish this life upon any other person. It hurts so very much. I want you to have a beautiful healthy baby. I want that baby to be in your arms! I want you to be able to do all the things that were robbed of me like those sweet smiles, giggles, coos, hearing MA-MA, hugs, kisses, first teeth, holidays, etc. The list of beautiful milestones grows every day. My heart and my body, they feel this absence every single day. I don't want this for you. I urge you to please reconsider the decisions that you are making. When told that this birth will affect everything, please remember that it isn't always good change. Grief is a terrible burden to carry.

Facebook page created

The page is called SafEST Homebirth. I should be able to get a blog up and going here very soon and will place the link here and on Safest's wall. So, join up, and tell others. Let's show people that safe homebirth practices are important. No more of this every woman can do it, everything is "a variation of normal", uneducated midwives know everything and are to be desired (*gah*) crap. It's still odd for me that I've come full circle almost. I know this idea may not be popular amongst others, but, I'm willing to put myself out there. Oh, we won't support midwives who negligently take lives and sure as heck aren't going to blame parents!! If you are a CNM or CM, please join up, I would love to have you there! Let's see if we can't blow these other blogs/pages out of the water.

Here is The new blog!

Facebook page created

The page is called SafEST Homebirth. I should be able to get a blog up and going here very soon and will place the link here and on Safest's wall. So, join up, and tell others. Let's show people that safe homebirth practices are important. No more of this every woman can do it, everything is "a variation of normal", uneducated midwives know everything and are to be desired (*gah*) crap. It's still odd for me that I've come full circle almost. I know this idea may not be popular amongst others, but, I'm willing to put myself out there. Oh, we won't support midwives who negligently take lives and sure as heck aren't going to blame parents!! If you are a CNM or CM, please join up, I would love to have you there! Let's see if we can't blow these other blogs/pages out of the water.

Here is The new blog!

I'm pondering something

It's no secret that I DO support CNM's. Why?? 99% of them practice safely. They ARE educated and trained. Their statistics are fantastic! They do adhere to rules and regulations. There is a governing body. Reviews consist of an actual medical board instead of their "peers (ie buddies)". They do carry malpractice insurance. Need I go on??

There is legislation introduced fairly frequently in states where CPM's are illegal. We need people to combat this legislation in these states. I would also like to see a place where we can promote CNM's. Women want homebirth, so they need safe options. CNM's can provide the safety net that can make the difference between life and death for a baby and/or it's mother. There are so many changes that need made in the homebirth system in the USA.

Right now, I'm just brainstorming. Please give me honest opinions. What would you like to see?? I will never give birth again (happy dance- esp after seeing that FB photo circulating), but I want to see things change so that I'm not seeing so many homebirth losses. No family should have to bury their baby, esp when the baby has died a preventable death!! Mothers shouldn't be silenced or treated badly because they dare to admit that their midwife screwed up. These midwives should not continue to practice after multiple babies die preventable deaths. So much needs to change! I just don't know where to begin to really make a difference.

Until blogger gets fixed, I'm going to place my new email address in every post. So, if you want to contact me, you can drop me an email at momofmanyfeet@yahoo.com!

I'm pondering something

It's no secret that I DO support CNM's. Why?? 99% of them practice safely. They ARE educated and trained. Their statistics are fantastic! They do adhere to rules and regulations. There is a governing body. Reviews consist of an actual medical board instead of their "peers (ie buddies)". They do carry malpractice insurance. Need I go on??

There is legislation introduced fairly frequently in states where CPM's are illegal. We need people to combat this legislation in these states. I would also like to see a place where we can promote CNM's. Women want homebirth, so they need safe options. CNM's can provide the safety net that can make the difference between life and death for a baby and/or it's mother. There are so many changes that need made in the homebirth system in the USA.

Right now, I'm just brainstorming. Please give me honest opinions. What would you like to see?? I will never give birth again (happy dance- esp after seeing that FB photo circulating), but I want to see things change so that I'm not seeing so many homebirth losses. No family should have to bury their baby, esp when the baby has died a preventable death!! Mothers shouldn't be silenced or treated badly because they dare to admit that their midwife screwed up. These midwives should not continue to practice after multiple babies die preventable deaths. So much needs to change! I just don't know where to begin to really make a difference.

Until blogger gets fixed, I'm going to place my new email address in every post. So, if you want to contact me, you can drop me an email at momofmanyfeet@yahoo.com!

Let's discuss something

I want to know exactly what my readers think of the homebirth system in the USA. Do you think changes need made? What would YOU like to see? Do you think safe birthing practices should be the priority or should access to midwifery come first (You can only choose one)? Please pass this page around so we can find out exactly what people think.

Perhaps we can all work together to increase access to SAFE midwives!

Let's discuss something

I want to know exactly what my readers think of the homebirth system in the USA. Do you think changes need made? What would YOU like to see? Do you think safe birthing practices should be the priority or should access to midwifery come first (You can only choose one)? Please pass this page around so we can find out exactly what people think.

Perhaps we can all work together to increase access to SAFE midwives!

Helping midwifery in North Carolina

For those wanting to see a change in North Carolina, I encourage you to write to the NC nursing board in support of CNM's. Let's also tell them that NC women need more homebirth CNM's who work in collaborative agreement with OB's. State that OB's shouldn't be just a back-up, we want them working together for the safety of women and babies. Having CNM's deliver at home will give women a safe choice for out of hospital birth instead of relying on a lay midwife.

If a woman is genuinely passionate about helping women birth at home, she will do what it takes to get the CNM certification. Claiming passionate reasons to not get a real certification makes you nothing more than a birth junkie who doesn't care about the women or babies she serves. Is nursing school cheap or convenient?? No. However, attending and getting that degree means you are dedicated and that helping women/babies is not just a hobby. That is to be admired!!

Helping midwifery in North Carolina

For those wanting to see a change in North Carolina, I encourage you to write to the NC nursing board in support of CNM's. Let's also tell them that NC women need more homebirth CNM's who work in collaborative agreement with OB's. State that OB's shouldn't be just a back-up, we want them working together for the safety of women and babies. Having CNM's deliver at home will give women a safe choice for out of hospital birth instead of relying on a lay midwife.

If a woman is genuinely passionate about helping women birth at home, she will do what it takes to get the CNM certification. Claiming passionate reasons to not get a real certification makes you nothing more than a birth junkie who doesn't care about the women or babies she serves. Is nursing school cheap or convenient?? No. However, attending and getting that degree means you are dedicated and that helping women/babies is not just a hobby. That is to be admired!!

Incompetence in Midwifery

Recently, NC CPM Emily "Amy" Medwin was arrested for practicing medicine without a license. This is NOT her first run in with NC authorities. NC Friends of Midwives are rallying behind this midwife in droves. According to them, she is a wonderful midwife.

In the state of NC, it is illegal to practice midwifery unless you are a Certified Nurse Midwife or a CNM. The state of North Carolina is NOT limiting your choices. They are giving you safe options. CPM's have a perinatal mortality rate that is 3X higher than in the hospital. I will go so far as to say that CPM's are a threat to public safety, NOT an asset. When a product causes a few deaths, recalls are performed and products are taken off of shelves. So, why are non-CNM's still practicing??

Having shared my story, many people have said that they cannot believe my midwife is still practicing. Faith Beltz, who caused the death of Aquila, is still practicing. A North Carolina mother lost her baby due to Amy Medwin amnd another has a baby clinging to life. Why don't these friend of midwife organizations stand up and say "We want mothers and babies safe"? If you are supporting a midwife that has caused an infant loss, you are showing people that the health of women and their babies is unimportant, the importance lies in just having midwives. Incompetence should be discouraged. What if it is your baby next?? Don't think it can't happen to you, because it can. Not a single homebirth mother is invincible. This midwife you support could end up being the very person who destroys your world by taking your child's life. Why can't homebirth supporters tell incompetent midwives that they will not support them??

I know people are clamoring about choice. One incompetent midwife does not take away your choice. If anything, you have been given safER choices. If homebirth means more to you than your child's life, hey, find another subpar CPM- they're all over the place. If you want SAFE choices, go to a DR or a CNM. I have to say, CNM's do have better rates than even doctors. However, I think it also shows that CNM's do take on only real low risk mothers. If CPM's were so educated and knew all about "normal birth", their numbers would reflect those of CNM's. CPM numbers don't even reflect those of DR's! Forget choice. Let's think about SAFETY! There is nothing stopping CPM's from becoming CNM's. Oh wait, they don't want to go to school, don't want to learn about the entire body, don't want to spend the money, AND women don't find educated care providers desirable!

Would you support a person performing back alley abortions?? They know all about the reproductive system and how abortions are performed. You might lose a few mothers. Interestingly enough, childbirth is riskier than abortion!

Incompetence in Midwifery

Recently, NC CPM Emily "Amy" Medwin was arrested for practicing medicine without a license. This is NOT her first run in with NC authorities. NC Friends of Midwives are rallying behind this midwife in droves. According to them, she is a wonderful midwife.

In the state of NC, it is illegal to practice midwifery unless you are a Certified Nurse Midwife or a CNM. The state of North Carolina is NOT limiting your choices. They are giving you safe options. CPM's have a perinatal mortality rate that is 3X higher than in the hospital. I will go so far as to say that CPM's are a threat to public safety, NOT an asset. When a product causes a few deaths, recalls are performed and products are taken off of shelves. So, why are non-CNM's still practicing??

Having shared my story, many people have said that they cannot believe my midwife is still practicing. Faith Beltz, who caused the death of Aquila, is still practicing. A North Carolina mother lost her baby due to Amy Medwin amnd another has a baby clinging to life. Why don't these friend of midwife organizations stand up and say "We want mothers and babies safe"? If you are supporting a midwife that has caused an infant loss, you are showing people that the health of women and their babies is unimportant, the importance lies in just having midwives. Incompetence should be discouraged. What if it is your baby next?? Don't think it can't happen to you, because it can. Not a single homebirth mother is invincible. This midwife you support could end up being the very person who destroys your world by taking your child's life. Why can't homebirth supporters tell incompetent midwives that they will not support them??

I know people are clamoring about choice. One incompetent midwife does not take away your choice. If anything, you have been given safER choices. If homebirth means more to you than your child's life, hey, find another subpar CPM- they're all over the place. If you want SAFE choices, go to a DR or a CNM. I have to say, CNM's do have better rates than even doctors. However, I think it also shows that CNM's do take on only real low risk mothers. If CPM's were so educated and knew all about "normal birth", their numbers would reflect those of CNM's. CPM numbers don't even reflect those of DR's! Forget choice. Let's think about SAFETY! There is nothing stopping CPM's from becoming CNM's. Oh wait, they don't want to go to school, don't want to learn about the entire body, don't want to spend the money, AND women don't find educated care providers desirable!

Would you support a person performing back alley abortions?? They know all about the reproductive system and how abortions are performed. You might lose a few mothers. Interestingly enough, childbirth is riskier than abortion!

Survey Statstics

I will update these as I can. If you haven't filled out the loss survey, please do so. Thank you to all of you who have filled this out and allowed us to know the real statistics!

I'm not going to look at biased sites at all. I will NOT go fishing on various sites either. Mothers are free to come here and share if they choose to. I'm tired of the homebirth vs hospital crap. Yes, some midwives are horrific, and my daughter's loss of life is proof. Yes, some dr's suck as well. I want there to be a place to get real statistics that will not be silenced because it doesn't jive with agendas. I have no agenda but truth. This will be updated as the survey is filled out!

Out of 28 respondents
Prenatal Care:::
10 Had a DR for prenatal care
5 Had dual care with a DR and CNM
4 Had a CNM for prenatal care
2 Had Care from a CPM
1 Had care from a DR and Peri
2 Had care from a LM
1 Had no Prenatal Care
1 Had care from a DR, CPM, and Peri
1 Had care from DR, DEM, CPM, and Peri
1 Had care from a DEM

Home, Hospital, Birth Center:::
22 Moms had Hospital Deliveries
5 Mom had a homebirth
1 Birth Center

Hosital Deliveries:::
13 Vaginal
9 Cesareans

Cesarean reasons:::
1 C-section reulting from long labor after being induced, having EFM, scalp electrode on baby, iv meds, epidural, used forceps (said baby passed from MA, infection, and neg dr)
2 Planned c-section
1 Emergency due to car accident, started having problems, and heartrate dropped
1 Breech, Excess Fluid, and Pre-Eclampsia
1 Heartrate dropped
1 Baby stopped moving
2 Homebirth Transfer

Pregnancy Problems:::
7 No problems at all
4 Genetic Abnormalities
1 Incompetant cervix
6 Unlisted Issue
1 Lots of previous pregnancies, unexplained bleeding in the second trimester, and excess amniotic fluid
1 Lots of previous pregnancies, unexplained bleeding in both first AND second trimesters, excess amniotic fluid, unlisted issue
1 Placenta Accreta
1 Gestational Diabetes, Excess Fuild, Pre-eclampsia
1 Incompetant Cervix, Advanced Maternal Age, Unlisted Issue
1 Unexplained Bleeding in first trimester, unlisted issue
1 Hypertension, Intrauterine Growth Retardation
1 Hypertension, Unexplained bleeding in the first trimester, Preeclampsia, Unlisted Issue
1 Hypertension, Preeclampsia
1 Unexplained bleeding in both the first and second trimester
1 Incompetant Cervix and Unlisted Issue
1 Advanced Maternal Age

Stillbirth vs Neonatal:::
15 Neonatal
12 Stillbirth

Stillbirth:::
2 Cord Accident
3 Unexplained
1 Heart stopped for no reason (that could be seen) less than 24 hours before the birth. No Autopsy
1 Unexplained, slight velementous cord insertion, low-ish amniotic fluid, slightly enlarged placenta, slightly enlarged cord
1 Placental abruption
1 Incompetant Cervix, GBS+, Placental Infection
1 Genetic Issues
1 PIH, Placental Insufficiency
1 Meternal Clotting Disorder
1, Uterine Rupture, Negligent Midwife, Thought mother's HR was baby's

Neonatal:::
1 Premature
1 Meconium Aspiration, Infection, Negligent DR
2 Negligent Midwife
2 Genetic Abnormailities
3 Extreme Prematurity
1 Brain Damage resulting from impact of car accident
1 Bilateral Renal Agenesis
1 Negligent DR, Infection, Hep B Vaccine Reaction
1 Unknown
1 Extreme Prematurity, Infection, Brain Damage from Birth, NICU Acquired Illness, Severe Critical Illness
1 Extreme Prematurity, Negligent DR, NICU Acquired Illness

How mother's researched:::
23 Read Books
20 Read Articles
20 Talked to a DR
20 Online Message Boards
18 Spoke to Friends
14 Spoke to family members
14 Read Medical Studies
12 Read Blogs
9 Spoke to a CNM
6 Medical Training
4 Spoke to a CPM
4 Spoke to a LM
3 Took Birth Classes
2 Had been through it before
2 Spoke to DEM

In the women who had no issues during the prgnancy:
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a CPM
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a LM
1 Stillbirth at 39+ weeks using a DR
1 Neonatal Death at 40+ weeks using a DR
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a DR and CNM
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a CNM
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a DEM

So far I am seeing that 7 out of 29 pregnancies had no risk factors and the babies were perfect. Since 5 out of 6 stillbirths in these low risk cases were 40+ weeks, I think it is safe to assume that stillbirth definately increases once a woman hits 40 weeks.

Survey Statstics

I will update these as I can. If you haven't filled out the loss survey, please do so. Thank you to all of you who have filled this out and allowed us to know the real statistics!

I'm not going to look at biased sites at all. I will NOT go fishing on various sites either. Mothers are free to come here and share if they choose to. I'm tired of the homebirth vs hospital crap. Yes, some midwives are horrific, and my daughter's loss of life is proof. Yes, some dr's suck as well. I want there to be a place to get real statistics that will not be silenced because it doesn't jive with agendas. I have no agenda but truth. This will be updated as the survey is filled out!

Out of 28 respondents
Prenatal Care:::
10 Had a DR for prenatal care
5 Had dual care with a DR and CNM
4 Had a CNM for prenatal care
2 Had Care from a CPM
1 Had care from a DR and Peri
2 Had care from a LM
1 Had no Prenatal Care
1 Had care from a DR, CPM, and Peri
1 Had care from DR, DEM, CPM, and Peri
1 Had care from a DEM

Home, Hospital, Birth Center:::
22 Moms had Hospital Deliveries
5 Mom had a homebirth
1 Birth Center

Hosital Deliveries:::
13 Vaginal
9 Cesareans

Cesarean reasons:::
1 C-section reulting from long labor after being induced, having EFM, scalp electrode on baby, iv meds, epidural, used forceps (said baby passed from MA, infection, and neg dr)
2 Planned c-section
1 Emergency due to car accident, started having problems, and heartrate dropped
1 Breech, Excess Fluid, and Pre-Eclampsia
1 Heartrate dropped
1 Baby stopped moving
2 Homebirth Transfer

Pregnancy Problems:::
7 No problems at all
4 Genetic Abnormalities
1 Incompetant cervix
6 Unlisted Issue
1 Lots of previous pregnancies, unexplained bleeding in the second trimester, and excess amniotic fluid
1 Lots of previous pregnancies, unexplained bleeding in both first AND second trimesters, excess amniotic fluid, unlisted issue
1 Placenta Accreta
1 Gestational Diabetes, Excess Fuild, Pre-eclampsia
1 Incompetant Cervix, Advanced Maternal Age, Unlisted Issue
1 Unexplained Bleeding in first trimester, unlisted issue
1 Hypertension, Intrauterine Growth Retardation
1 Hypertension, Unexplained bleeding in the first trimester, Preeclampsia, Unlisted Issue
1 Hypertension, Preeclampsia
1 Unexplained bleeding in both the first and second trimester
1 Incompetant Cervix and Unlisted Issue
1 Advanced Maternal Age

Stillbirth vs Neonatal:::
15 Neonatal
12 Stillbirth

Stillbirth:::
2 Cord Accident
3 Unexplained
1 Heart stopped for no reason (that could be seen) less than 24 hours before the birth. No Autopsy
1 Unexplained, slight velementous cord insertion, low-ish amniotic fluid, slightly enlarged placenta, slightly enlarged cord
1 Placental abruption
1 Incompetant Cervix, GBS+, Placental Infection
1 Genetic Issues
1 PIH, Placental Insufficiency
1 Meternal Clotting Disorder
1, Uterine Rupture, Negligent Midwife, Thought mother's HR was baby's

Neonatal:::
1 Premature
1 Meconium Aspiration, Infection, Negligent DR
2 Negligent Midwife
2 Genetic Abnormailities
3 Extreme Prematurity
1 Brain Damage resulting from impact of car accident
1 Bilateral Renal Agenesis
1 Negligent DR, Infection, Hep B Vaccine Reaction
1 Unknown
1 Extreme Prematurity, Infection, Brain Damage from Birth, NICU Acquired Illness, Severe Critical Illness
1 Extreme Prematurity, Negligent DR, NICU Acquired Illness

How mother's researched:::
23 Read Books
20 Read Articles
20 Talked to a DR
20 Online Message Boards
18 Spoke to Friends
14 Spoke to family members
14 Read Medical Studies
12 Read Blogs
9 Spoke to a CNM
6 Medical Training
4 Spoke to a CPM
4 Spoke to a LM
3 Took Birth Classes
2 Had been through it before
2 Spoke to DEM

In the women who had no issues during the prgnancy:
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a CPM
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a LM
1 Stillbirth at 39+ weeks using a DR
1 Neonatal Death at 40+ weeks using a DR
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a DR and CNM
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a CNM
1 Stillbirth at 40+ weeks using a DEM

So far I am seeing that 7 out of 29 pregnancies had no risk factors and the babies were perfect. Since 5 out of 6 stillbirths in these low risk cases were 40+ weeks, I think it is safe to assume that stillbirth definately increases once a woman hits 40 weeks.