Reading Babycenter's Debate Team last night, a woman posted about how her AP sister has been so stressed out that she hit her 2.5 year old son as hard as she could. She called her mother to get the child and Grandma refused to give the child back. This thread was rather eye opening. Many AP mothers confessed that they had all hit breaking points and hit their child out of anger. No wonder they always assume people who spank do so in anger, because that's the reason they do it!
In addition to all these confessions of hitting children out of anger, it was also shared that this child had not ever been away from his mom and others stated their child hadn't been a part from mom either. No wonder AP moms are so stressed. You don't have to have your kid attached to you 24/7 in order to be a good mother and obviously, it is stressful never having a break from this role.
I would really love to see the number of divorces for AP Moms and Mainstream Moms. Mainstream mothers seem to have an identity outside their children while AP moms generally don't. I have read of women sleeping with their child instead of sharing a bed with their spouse. No way would I give up having my husband next to me! How many AP husbands feel neglected because his wife is stuck in mommy mode and can't just be that woman he fell in love with??
For this child in this situation, the husband told her to just let her child stay with Grandma and mom refused while acting incredibly irrational. That child is now in CPS custody. Way to go mom! You're so attached, your child is being cared for by strangers because you couldn't just let him stay with grandma for a few days!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
The stresses of Attachment Parenting
Reading Babycenter's Debate Team last night, a woman posted about how her AP sister has been so stressed out that she hit her 2.5 year old son as hard as she could. She called her mother to get the child and Grandma refused to give the child back. This thread was rather eye opening. Many AP mothers confessed that they had all hit breaking points and hit their child out of anger. No wonder they always assume people who spank do so in anger, because that's the reason they do it!
In addition to all these confessions of hitting children out of anger, it was also shared that this child had not ever been away from his mom and others stated their child hadn't been a part from mom either. No wonder AP moms are so stressed. You don't have to have your kid attached to you 24/7 in order to be a good mother and obviously, it is stressful never having a break from this role.
I would really love to see the number of divorces for AP Moms and Mainstream Moms. Mainstream mothers seem to have an identity outside their children while AP moms generally don't. I have read of women sleeping with their child instead of sharing a bed with their spouse. No way would I give up having my husband next to me! How many AP husbands feel neglected because his wife is stuck in mommy mode and can't just be that woman he fell in love with??
For this child in this situation, the husband told her to just let her child stay with Grandma and mom refused while acting incredibly irrational. That child is now in CPS custody. Way to go mom! You're so attached, your child is being cared for by strangers because you couldn't just let him stay with grandma for a few days!
In addition to all these confessions of hitting children out of anger, it was also shared that this child had not ever been away from his mom and others stated their child hadn't been a part from mom either. No wonder AP moms are so stressed. You don't have to have your kid attached to you 24/7 in order to be a good mother and obviously, it is stressful never having a break from this role.
I would really love to see the number of divorces for AP Moms and Mainstream Moms. Mainstream mothers seem to have an identity outside their children while AP moms generally don't. I have read of women sleeping with their child instead of sharing a bed with their spouse. No way would I give up having my husband next to me! How many AP husbands feel neglected because his wife is stuck in mommy mode and can't just be that woman he fell in love with??
For this child in this situation, the husband told her to just let her child stay with Grandma and mom refused while acting incredibly irrational. That child is now in CPS custody. Way to go mom! You're so attached, your child is being cared for by strangers because you couldn't just let him stay with grandma for a few days!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Facebook group for homebirth loss moms
If you are a mother who planned a homebirth and lost your child, you are welcome to join us at Homebirth Loss Moms. Place of birth does not matter.
We need somewhere to be able to talk about our losses without feeling ostracized. Homebirth supporters love to turn the tables on us and find some reason as to why our child would of died anyway or as to how it is your fault. We live with enough guilt and they don't understand that! If you are vocal about opinion changes on mothering, you are watched and your posts will be deleted if they are not supportive of homebirth or midwives. You become hated and frankly, it's bull shit! We don't deserve that. We deserve as much support as anyone who has a death due to a dr/hospital. They take off and run with stories of dr negligence and death, but get pissed when it has to do with a midwife or homebirth. Their anecdotal evidence matters, but ours doesn't?? Now, how does that make sense? They can use all the scare tactics and horror stories as they can pull out of their ass while we have to sit down and shut up. PUHLEASE! The hypocrisy is pathetic. I'm tired of seeing women like us treated badly. I'm tired of them trying to silence us. I'm tired of them trying to tell us that our babies would of died anyways. I'm tired of seeing infant losses as just something that happens that is unpreventable. MY child's death WAS preventable if it wasn't for the fact that I had a homebirth with a grossly negligent midwife. I was and still am incredibly angry. I probably always will be. On top of that, I get to carry around the guilt of knowing that my choice killed my child. After 2+ years, I still cannot get past the guilt I carry. I can't even talk about it because I break down! This isn't your typical sadness break down, this is full out, "my chest is closing in, I cannot breathe" break down. It's very difficult to live with and I think if the hardcore HB advocates had a loss like this, they would feel the same.
We need somewhere to be able to talk about our losses without feeling ostracized. Homebirth supporters love to turn the tables on us and find some reason as to why our child would of died anyway or as to how it is your fault. We live with enough guilt and they don't understand that! If you are vocal about opinion changes on mothering, you are watched and your posts will be deleted if they are not supportive of homebirth or midwives. You become hated and frankly, it's bull shit! We don't deserve that. We deserve as much support as anyone who has a death due to a dr/hospital. They take off and run with stories of dr negligence and death, but get pissed when it has to do with a midwife or homebirth. Their anecdotal evidence matters, but ours doesn't?? Now, how does that make sense? They can use all the scare tactics and horror stories as they can pull out of their ass while we have to sit down and shut up. PUHLEASE! The hypocrisy is pathetic. I'm tired of seeing women like us treated badly. I'm tired of them trying to silence us. I'm tired of them trying to tell us that our babies would of died anyways. I'm tired of seeing infant losses as just something that happens that is unpreventable. MY child's death WAS preventable if it wasn't for the fact that I had a homebirth with a grossly negligent midwife. I was and still am incredibly angry. I probably always will be. On top of that, I get to carry around the guilt of knowing that my choice killed my child. After 2+ years, I still cannot get past the guilt I carry. I can't even talk about it because I break down! This isn't your typical sadness break down, this is full out, "my chest is closing in, I cannot breathe" break down. It's very difficult to live with and I think if the hardcore HB advocates had a loss like this, they would feel the same.
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