Friday, April 29, 2011

Priorities?

I normally don't write a lot because I usually need quite a bit of motivation. With today being friday, it's been a lazy day. I've watched the younger two girls play, played with them, made food, and took Ireland on a million trips to the potty (with no accidents). Course, I got to sit down and just read. As I was reading Dr. Amy's latest entry, there was a link provided to a message board where a mother shared her story of trying to labor then suddenly being rushed to the OR only to be administered general and sectioned without her consent. Her and the baby both ended up fine.

There are so many things that do not sit well with me here. Bear with me.

1. People are encouraging her to call the police to report this. Yet, when a homebirth goes south and a midwife screws up and a baby ends up dead, they want the police to leave the midwife alone!

2. People are yelling for this woman to sue. Yet, they support midwives being untouchable and don't believe they should be sued. They also scream that people need to stop filing lawsuits because they drive up medical costs.

3. This mother is seriously supported. Yet, they are the first ones to cast stones at mothers who lose babies due to negligent midwives.

4. This mom is encouraged to go to the media and share her story. Yet, those of us harmed by midwives need to just go hide under a rock.

5. They use this ONE story to tell women that this happens daily in hospitals across the USA. Yet, if we (yes, WE) warn, we are accussed of fear-mongering and they deny that midwives are negligent.

6. All those involved in this woman's care should lose their licenses. Yet, midwives shouldn't. Again, this woman's child is ALIVE, while our babies are all DEAD.

7. All medical personnel change your women's records so the real reasons for c-section seem legitimate. Yet, if we state our records were changed, nobody believes us.

8. It is a huge deal that she lost her birth. Yet, no biggie that we lost our children.

It really bothers me that women will latch onto something like this but not care about what women like me or Liz or Erin have been through. They take this and run, but our stories need to be silenced. Is it just me or is there something seriously lacking in these ladies priorities. I do know how many of these women behave because they are the same ones who would give me crap over what happened to me. Interesting, isn't it??

Mind your own birth

Since I began blogging and immersing myself in the birthing world, I get to come across lots of interesting blogs and people. On one facebook group, members can talk about how uneducated and uninformed their friends are when it comes to giving birth. It also hurts these women so very much when their friends don't have the births they feel their friends should. The only places I see this is on natural birth groups.


Another friend told me of a family member's horrible, mismanaged, traumatic (for mom, dad and baby), intervention-happy birth. I almost told her to stop...it broke my heart. Keep preaching the education and information mamas. Our friends and families need to be educated to be make informed choices for themselves! Start with a competent, knowledgeable, respectful care provider!!!


This is strictly opinion. However it proves that anyone who does not fall for the natural agenda MUST be uneducated and uninformed! How heartbreaking that someone had a birth with interventions!


Sad thing is most women think its normal. Its part of satans plan to destroy the family. To make women fear birth.


Yeah, this has to be one of the funniest things I have ever read! So, if you have a birth with interventions it's because you fear birth and satan will destroy your family for it? Um, so, since over half of my births were natural, am I spared??


I am worried about my friend! She had wanted a natural birth, I sent her all my books (Ina May, Birthing From Within, etc.) She's been texting me for support all along, including last night when she was having contractions. She lives in a different state, near my sister, who just texted me that our friend is at the hospital. Her water broke around 1 this afternoon and she is at 2 cm, has been put on pitocin and already got her epidural. What?! Of course I'm not there so I don't know what kind of support she has or what is truly going on but I can' t help but feel disappointed! Why did she spend so much time preparing for natural to get an epidural at 2 cm? Did she not read the books I sent, does she not understand an epi at 2 can stall her labor? I am trying not to judge, I swear, but I know I am anyway. Maybe I'm taking this too personal because I have spent so much time with her about this I almost feel like her long distance labor coach. I hope the best for her but I don't feel good about this. This is the only place I could think of to come and "rant" a little. I would hate to take any of my frustration out on her. Pray for a good outcome for mama and baby.


Perhaps her friend decided she did not want to go natural after all?? Perhaps she realized labor HURT and didn't want to feel it anymore. At least this poster cannot claim her friend was uninformed right?? But, poor poster, how frustrating that her friends aren't birthing exactly how she wants them to!! I also love the pray for a good outcome statement as if having interventions or an epidural means impending death.

So, in the mind of natural birthers, if you don't give birth how they do, they are mad and heartbroken and all that other jazz. Really, with friends like these, who needs enemies? I am truly amazed that women are so quick to bash friends who aren't having all natural births. I have given birth seven times, with 4 of them being unmedicated. It hurts like hell. It really does. No amount of frau frau language is going to change it. If you want to give birth drug free, do it. Seriously, leave your friends to give birth how they want. Friends don't have to take a test to prove to you that they are informed about interventions. Why is it always assumed that women who do not have all natural non-intervention births aren't informed?? I come across this quite a bit. When I was a homebirther, I was so informed and knew my stuff, but as soon as I stepped into the mainstream, suddenly I knew nothing. Seriously?? Natural birthers don't know everything. It amazes me that they assume anyone who shuns the natural agenda is some uneducated moron when that is certainly not the case.

NCB advocates, when you are pregnant, have the birth you want (but please make sure you are REALLY informed and educated- no, reading a few Ina May books does not make you that way). When your friends are pregnant, it is their turn to decide what works for them and truly is not your business. So, mind YOUR own birth!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The nerve

By now, I think we all know who The Mama Tao is. She is the crunchiest of all crunchies. Some of the things posted, you have to wonder, "Is this chick for real?". The messed up thing is that this isn't just one blogger. This is an entire group that is promoting very dangerous and just purely stupid advice! I usually just let things/bloggers go and pay them no mind. However, after my last blog, one of Mama Tao's minions decided to attack all of us homebirth loss moms and it's ridiculous. Why can't we speak up??? She encourages people to treat us badly. We are good enough to support until we say that the birth location had anything to do with it!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Silence, the attempted key to success in the midwifery community

It was recently brought to my attention that a mother who wrote a review for BirthCare, out of Alexandria VA, had her posts removed. This review was the ONLY negative one written. What had this client said so bad?? Her baby died after a breech delivery. Gosh, what was she thinking sharing anything negative, right? Sadly, this is not the only example of a woman silenced in the name of midwifery.

On MDC, don't you dare talk about a midwife not being good. If an arrest is made, question the government and support the midwife regardless. Remember that the baby would of died no matter what. However, if a dr or nurse screws up, shout it all over and help the activism movement. I have read all about women's experiences with Karen and she certainly prided herself on taking on those nobody else would touch! Breech, mulitiples, complications, etc?? She would handle them all!! They want HER to continue practicing???

Midwifery Today has an article written on What to do when a midwife has been charged. This article claims it has nothing to do with outcomes and everything to do with "part of a global struggle for control of maternity services, the key underlying issues being money, power, sex and choice.”. Thank you Marsden Wagner! You are suppose to help arrange community support for your midwife! Oddly enough, this also has a paragraph about the family (out of 24 of them). However, this article assumes the family supports the midwife and desperately needs her support. This article does not address that some people do not need their midwife around as they know the midwife screwed up and want to see her pay! Are women really that desperate that they just need their midwife even if she caused their child's death?? That truly reeks of psychological issues.

With this newest midwife arrest, of course, the Maryland Friends of Midwives has stepped up in her defense. They even have a brand new website set up to solicit donations and collect stories about how wonderful she is. Not surprising, I left a comment and am still waiting for approval 10 days later. I posted on their facebook page about how supporting incompetence is harming midwifery and showing it to be a dangerous option. I also shared that my midwife had so many infant deaths under her belt. Did they keep my comment up?? Course not! Just like NCFOM when Amy Medwin was arrested! I just posted this "I have to say, it is rather disheartening when the homebirth community refuses to acknowledge negative outcomes or address incompetance! ". I am sure it will be gone here very soon.

Why are those who say "this person hurt my child" or "this provider is killing too many babies" silenced? Do you really think that ignoring and silencing death will make it magically go away? If you don't acknowledge incompetance, does it suddenly make a provider competant? Do these midwifery organizations really think their behavior is helping midwifery look like a positive endeavor?? Are incompetant midwives making homebirth look like a safe or positive option?

So, if incompetant midwives are giving homebirth such a blemish, why not take care of the blemish instead of covering it up with a bandaid?? The blemish will not go away until it is taken care of properly, something most in the movement refuse to do. Our babies are a small sacrifice for those who worship at Ina's feet! "Oh, Ina, you want more dead babies?? OK, anything for homebirth and midwifery. And we'll make sure nobody hears about it".

I have one statement to make for those who don't care about all the dead babies on the alter of homebirth, and that is "Get the fuck over yourselves". I'm so fed up. I'm tired of silence. I'm tired of our babies not meaning a damn to anybody. This mother and her fellow homebirth loss moms are not going anywhere and we are here to fight for our children and the countless other children who will end up dead due to incompetance and ignorant activists!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Looking for Current/Former Homebirth Midwives

Sometime soon, a site called 10 Centimeters will be launched. I am a guest writer and would love to put together an article with interviews from either current or former homebirth midwives. If you are willing to answer some questions, please email me at momma 6 underscore 2 angels at hotmail dot com. I am putting together a questionaire that I will send out to all respondents on May 1st. No names will be used at all.

The importance of a wedding

When a couple is planning a wedding, most of the time, the bride is in control of everything. Some couples just slip quietly to a justice of the peace, some elope, some have small intimate gatherings, and others have massive celebrations. It all varies amongst couples.

For us, it was something small as an actual wedding didn't mean much to us. For some women, they have to plan it for an extended time. All of their focus is spent on this one day. The wedding and reception have to go off without a hitch. Couples will go so far as to hire a planner who can make all their wishes come true.

What types of things are important and why?? I asked this question on my facebook to see what answers I would get. Two friends said the photographer was important because they take the pictures. Ok, got me there. Pictures are always important no matter the occassion! This is why my phone uploads to facebook. One friend said the vows because these are the promises you make for life. Ok, agreed there. One friend said the attitudes by bride and groom are important. Agreed!

Now, what about things that really don't matter? Does it matter if the groom can ride in on a stallion? What if the tiara isn't the right pattern? What if the train isn't long enough? What if the wedding cake isn't colorful enough? Yeah, these are all things that can devastate a bride. I'm sure we've all seen or dealt with brides that make you say, "WTF?".

If women spend all this time focused on the wedding, how much time is spent preparing for the actual marriage? Is the wedding the most important part of the marriage or is it just the beginning?


Let's switch out wedding for birth and see how they compare.
Minister/Birth attendant
Premarital counseling/childbirth education
Venue/birthplace
Bridal party/support people
Wedding photographer/birth photographer-videographer
Wedding attire/birth attire
Honeymoon/babymoon
Food and cake/food and drink
Gifts/gifts
Registry/registry
Message boards/message boards
magazines/magazines
Bridezilla/Preggozilla

So, how many weddings, that didn't go according to plan, completely destroy the bond between husband and wife? If you say none, why is it that women buy that birth experiences ruin the bond between mother and child? There really is nothing different between the day you give birth than the day you get married. Just something to think about!

Just a warning: when you know a bridezilla, steer clear when she gets pregnant! If the mom is a preggozilla who isn't married, stay away from her while she plans her wedding! Actually, I would steer clear of her all the time!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Looking at Ina's Quilt

As we all know, Ina has created her Safe Motherhood Quilt as a way to memoralize mothers who die due to pregnancy issues. This is a very noble cause. I think it's great to remember those who have passed on.

Now, things get sticky when you start breaking down numbers and stories. Of all the women listed, there is no proof that 26 of them ever existed. There are news stories, SSDI registries, and/or websites for the rest of these women. I have to wonder if Ina even bothered to verify the existence of these women.

On top of these women whose identities cannot be confirmed, we have women that died from actual non-pregnancy related issues. There is one woman who died after being abused by her partner, one who was in a car accident the night before, one who was diagnosed with terminal cancer, one who had an asthma attack, etc. Several mothers died due to h1n1. That took the lives of many people, not just pregnant mothers. Women who dealt with illness or heart problems also died. Pregnancy doesn't give you heart problems. Pregnancy can give you something called cardiomyopathy. This can make a mother very ill and possibly take her life. Now, in some women with existing heart conditions, it can certainly exacerbate the problems. There are women who had pulmonary embolisms or aneurysms. Two Jehovah Witnesses chose to bleed to death after refusing transfusions.

Another one of the things that caught me eye is the fact that she claims death due to pregnancy/childbirth some time later. One death was blamed on two cesareans with the last being 25 years earlier! One mother was brain damaged for two years due to septicemia after carrying around a dead fetus. She was a midwife client planning her 5th homebirth. One mother was said to of developed congestive heart failure due to pregnancy and succumbed to it two years later. Yes, the mom with brain damage, we can attribute that to the issues related to pregnancy, but the others aren't.

So, if we count all the mothers who died due to other issues and unconfirmed identites, you remove 78 women. Causes of death related to pregnancy are due to things like infections (several abortion related are listed making me think Ina scours a certain pro-life site), hemorrhage (yep, a few here are also from a pro-life site), amniotic fluid embolism, and blood pressure issues (HELLP, toxemia, eclampsia, pre-e). These make up 61% of the mothers on the quilt,

Ina claims the maternal mortality rate is 1.5 to 3 times higher than is reported. Her quilt is proof of why she thinks this. If you add in women who die of any cause within 1 year, women who die that ever had a c-section, and women who are diagnosed with an illness either during pregnacy or within 1 year postpartum the numbers are going to be higher. However, this is an incredibly dishonest way to try to manipulate numbers and people's trust. Now that I'm thinking about it, isn't this how natural birth advocates try to say cesarean babies die three times as often as vaginally birthed babies?? It's quite interesting how Ina and her followers love to manipulate data to claim that doctors and hospitals are so evil!

ETA: I found that I missed a woman. Make that 27 women with unconfirmed identities!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Safe Motherhood Quilt Project

This afternoon I started my online session the same, hitting facebook first. Then I got side-tracked and went to Ina's Safe Motherhood Quilt Project.

The idea for the Safe Motherhood Quilt Project gestated within me over a period of several years. It was in the early 1990s that I began to be curious about maternal death in my country, after an unusual couple-they were both obstetricians-enrolled for care at the Farm Midwifery Center, Summertown TN, for their first pregnancy and birth. I learned from them and from a nurse-midwife who wrote a remembrance about a close friend that death was still an occasional possibility for U.S. women during pregnancy, birth and the year after the end of pregnancy. Curious about how many deaths occurred per year and what factors might be causing them, I began looking for information from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS). I learned from the officials with whom I talked at both agencies how little they actually know about the continuing problem of preventable maternal death in the U.S.


Sounds commendable, doesn't it?? You look at all these names and go through slides reading a small summary about what happened to these mothers. You see things about eclampsia/toxemia and wonder why on earth DR's allowed a woman to get so severe that she passed away. I've seen stories of perfectly healthy women just dropping and wondered why. All these deaths seem like medical error!

However, thanks to the power of google, you can find other information aside from what Ina has. I haven't seen a single death, so far, that is due to medical error. I am at file 13/211. I've seen a mother that suffered abuse from her partner then went into a seizure leading to stroke and heart attack. Mom was just a few days postpartum. Sadly, one of her children would die at this partners hands just six months later. Ina conveniently left out the fact that this mother had been beaten the morning she suffered from the seizure. You also see a story about a 15 year old girl with toxemia. What Ina fails to share is that this child was part of a secret polygamist group who had NOT gotten prenatal care nor would anyone allow her to see a DR. By the time her mother stepped in, it was too late. In one story, a mother drops from eclampsia while getting ready to go to the DR. Does the summary state that the mother had been in a car accident the night before?? Nope. The article about the mother from her local paper doesn't say a word about eclampsia. One story shared was about a mother who had a miscarriage/stillbirth in the 5th month and developed an infection (ie becoming septic) that damaged her organs leaving her comatose. What Ina fails to share is that this mother was a homebirther (planning her 5th) who possibly already had heart damage from a medication she had taken the year before. She had never had a single complication so they figured things would be fine! Two stories were about mothers who had splenic artery aneurysm. Unfortunately, this is due to pregnancy and the weight of the uterus during the 3rd trimester. The only mother who died from actual medical error was one who had placenta pieces left behind and became septic. One other case that stood out to me was a woman who was induced with twins (numbers 8 and 9) at over 41 weeks. Baby A was born perfectly fine but then baby 2 was breech and it's cord prolapsed. They rushed mom for an emergency c-section where she began to hemmorhage. Mom was given a hysterectomy, but due to her being a Jehovah's Witness, she refused a transfusion and died. We also had a mother that committed suicide due to PP Psychosis.

If you are like me, I find the site interesting considering Ina tries so hard to blame our obstetrical care system. With the case of the abuse victim, Ina has used her name but didn't address the circumstances. In the last case, she has blamed the DR for doing a c-section for the breech twin (whose cord prolapsed). I truly cannot believe she would take cases of dead mothers and blame the medical system when most of the cases she shares have nothing to do with it. Some cases are due to pregnancy and, as much as I hate to say it, would of happened no matter what. The only way to prevent a major event from occurring that is pregnancy induced is to prevent pregnancy. No woman knows if she will be the one that this happens to though.

I will be going through every single story Ina shares. Let's see exactly what information this site holds. So far, it isn't saying what she claims to be saying.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Hurt by Hospital Birth

Over the past 34 months homebirth advocates have taught me a lot. They have taught me that babies lost don't matter at all. They get angry when a homebirth death is shared and make comments about how the baby would of died anyway, babies die in the hospital too, and the location had nothing to do with it. They are incredibly rude and hurtful towards moms with any homebirth loss or injury. Obviously, when Dr Amy started up the Hurt by Homebirth site, we received serious backlash. Advocates were incredibly angry that there wasn't a hurt by hospital birth site. So, one San Diego area licensed midwife, named Vickii Gervais, decided to start a hurt by hospital birth site.

Now, what kind of stories are on this site?? How many mothers or babies died due to negligence?? How many mothers or babies were injured?? The answer to these questions is none. What consitutues being hurt by hospital birth??

Story 1: was a mom who ended up with an emergency c-section at 35 weeks for a footling breech. An inverted T incision was given in order to get baby out. Mom later had a VBA3C in the hospital with a supportive OB. The 4th child just happened to of also been her only full term baby. This was her blessing from Jesus!

Story 2: was a mom who didn't get her birth plan followed. She had fetal monitors strapped to her belly that were snug, didn't labor in the shower, didn't get her waterbirth, and was left to labor with her husband/family. Oh, then the drain was clogged in her shower.

Then story 3: Mom who (in 1975) was strapped down, given an IV, given oxygen, given an episiotomy and had her baby taken for 6 hours. That one did make me cringe. However, I took the opportunity to call my own mother and ask about birthing practices when I was born (1980). Turns out it was routine to rush you to a birthing room alone, do an enema, do an episiotomy, put legs in stirrups to push, then take baby for a bit. If you've had a baby in the last 20 years, you'll know this is no longer routine care. My mother was with me for the birth of my youngest and was quite impressed with all the changes made.

What really got me about these stories was their attempt at one-upping women who had their babies die. I would happily have a c-section or a deviation from my birth plan if it meant a living child. Are you trying to tell us that a non perfect birth experience is worse than having a dead baby?? Is your experience that much more important than the baby's??

This site thoroughly disgusts me and I cannot believe someone who calls themselves a professional would publish stories of women who weren't harmed or hurt by a hospital birth. They are women who sound like my children when I don't buy the flavor ice cream they wanted!

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